Terror caníbal

For years, Cannibal Terror was believed by many to be the work of horror/sleaze director Jess Franco, a reasonable assumption since the film bears what seem to be most of the prolific Spaniard's hallmarks, most notably a dreadful script, unconvincing locales, inept direction, terrible acting, and endless meandering shots of nothing much in particular (and I guess, for some, it was also hard to believe that there might be another person out there who could make films quite as bad as Franco).

The real culprit, however, was French director Alain Deruelle, who proves that he can be just as inept as Jess when it comes to delivering jungle horror.

Deruelle's dreadful film follows a trio bumbling kidnappers-two men and one woman-who escape across the border (to where, I have no idea!) with their hostage, the young daughter of a rich businessman. Arriving at a safe house that borders 'cannibal country', the threesome are able to relax for a while, until one of the gang, Mario, decides to rape the wife of their host (after spying on her having a wash in a giant wooden bucket). This kick starts a chain of events that results in the criminals and their hostage being pursued by bloodthirsty natives, with the father of the little girl in hot pursuit.

Taking a leaf out of Franco's Big Book of Cannibal Movie-Making, Deruelle opts to set his adventure in what appears to be a large botanical garden, hires himself some of the least convincing cannibals ever to grace an exploitation film (some have sideburns, many have coiffured hair, a few have beer-bellies, nearly all of them are Caucasion, but none of them look like savages), and throws in some cheapo blood and guts (using what looks like pig carcasses to stand in for human remains) in order to satisfy the gore-hounds.

The result is a mind-numbingly dull piece of Euro-sleaze that now shares top spot with Mondo Cannibale on my Crap Cannibal Movie list.

Ah, the wondrous mysteries of late 70's/early 80's Euro-exploitation cinema… With almost a 100% positive certainty, the script of this film was improvised along whilst shooting. Judging by the tone and cheerful atmosphere of the opening sequences, it doesn't even look like the creators (Alain Deruelle and Julio Tabernero) ever intended to make a movie about cannibals, but maybe the producers forced them in order to quickly cash in on the gigantic success of contemporary horror-hits like "Cannibal Holocaust" and "Cannibal Ferox". As you probably know, everything was possible in the exploitation industry, even hiring the notorious smut filmmaker Jess Franco to shoot some additional footage. The film opens with a rhythmic and jolly carnival song, introduces several comical characters and a potentially interesting (but poorly elaborated) kidnapping/ransom plot. The cannibal tribe and obligatory grossness only kicks in after about 40 minutes and comes across as totally ridiculous. Three amateur thugs, one voluptuous woman and two guys, randomly decide to abduct the daughter of a wealthy businessman and demand a ransom. When one of their accomplices gets involved in a banal car accident, they flee towards the jungle (I think the South American) and seek shelter in the hut of a friend. Nearby there's a tribe of primitive cannibals, but they appear to remain politely within their perimeters. Only when one of the thugs rapes the lady of the house, her husband almost literally feeds them to the cannibals. Meanwhile, the parents of the kidnapped girl have also arrived in the jungle (don't ask me how, though), but they're good people and hence don't get eaten. Needless to say "Cannibal Terror" is an incredibly bad film and I honestly can't name one good element, apart maybe from the jolly theme song. Sure, there's a bit of nasty gore, but there's absolutely no prior tension building and the actual munching goes on for far too long. You know you're in trouble when even the gory bits in a movie are dull. The acting performances are atrocious. The lines of the little girl are practically inaudible and I'm pretty sure an adult woman imitating the voice of a child spoke them. The "jungle" setting is quite hilarious, as the film is clearly shot in someone's home garden and the "natives" are plain white day-players. Several of them even have sideburns and sophisticated haircuts. Oh dear

Many suspect that this film was directed by Jess Franco because it's very similar to (and at least as bad as)two Eurocine films he DID direct--"Mondo Cannibale" and "Sexo Cannibale". The movie in fact was made by some of Franco's cronies at the low-rent French production house Eurocine. One of the directors on record was another Spaniard, Julio Tabernero, who directed the superior film "Sexy Cat", but since that film has no cannibals in it, it will probably never get the kind of upscale DVD release this one--and the two Franco cannibal films--have gotten in recent years. There's just no justice in the world.

There's no point in rehashing the idiotic plot again. Everything about this is laughably unconvincing from the horribly dubbed dialogue to obviously European "cannibals" to the "jungle" setting which was obviously a European zoo. The canned sound effects include one bird who seems to be chirping all the time in every single place in the "jungle". The public domain music is imported entirely from Mexico (with horrid variations on such standards as "La Bamba" and "La Cucaracha"), a country not exactly famous for its cannibalistic tribes. (If this had been an actual Franco film, it would have at least had better music).

Franco-regular Anthony Mayans has a small role here. Pamela Stanford has a nice nude scene, which is literally the ONLY worthwhile scene in the entire movie. Sabrina Siani, the heroine of "Mondo Cannibal" has a a don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it cameo, which (aside from her not being naked) is probably her best role ever since she makes no attempt whatsoever to act (actually she made no attempt whatsoever to act in "Mondo Cannibale" either, but the horny producers still insisted on casting her as the lead). But I'm obviously really grasping at straws to find ANYTHING nice to say about this. This movie has nowhere near the power of an Italian cannibal flick like "Cannibal Holocaust" and frankly it barely rises to the level of a bad Jess Franco imitation. Avoid with extreme prejudice.

It's safe to say that cannibal films are an acquired taste, but I think it's safe to say that it is one that I have acquired. However, even I am struggling for good things to say about Cannibal Terror. The best cannibal films hail from Italy, so the fact that this one was a French and Spanish co-production may have something to do with its sub-par quality. The plot follows two would-be kidnappers who end up hiding out in a house near the jungle. However, when one of them rapes the home-owner's daughter, the bunch is left to the nearby cannibals. Cannibal Terror was one of the handful of cannibal films banned by the DPP back in the eighties. Indeed, there is some rather nasty gore on display; but it's nowhere near as gory as the best films that this genre has to offer, and the gore is hardly shocking as the whole production is so badly done. Director Alain Deruelle never manages to impose the jungle atmosphere on his audience, and the film feels like merely a rip off of better cannibal films. Needless to say, the plot doesn't really go anywhere and the overall effect is really rather dull. Overall, I can't recommend this film as the only reason for watching is that it was once banned! Avoid.

Well, that was... uhm, different. I've been putting off buying this one for far too long. I knew it was only a matter of time, besides, I've seen all the others. As revoltingly interesting as the others are, I had to know what the black sheep of the Cannibal sub-genre was really like, and if its bad reputation was nothing more than a bad reputation.

This Spanish-French obscurity has the reputation as a cheap knock-off just because the gore, the cannibals, as well as the entire vibe of the movie is completely different, not to mention no real jungle to speak of, but mainly because of the obvious lack of an Italian director.

Alright, well, that about sums it up. Cannibal Terror is a cheap knock-off of an already "misunderstood" sub-genre, but that doesn't mean this movie deserves to be hated. Besides having a swell score, and unintentionally humorous dialog, there's a little girl who's voice is dubbed by an adult, which always goes over well in low-budget European horror.

Let the unfitingly inspirational music begin. Some quaint Euro-scenery. Now, as the story goes, a trio of inept kidnappers who steals the little girl of a rich couple and figure that a fake French Jungle with crickets dubbed in the background would be a suitable place to hide out, besides, the local cannibals are fake, yes they do eat human flesh, but it's also very, very fake-looking, so, it's all good.

The original plan for collecting a ransom is derailed when one of the kidnappers decides to rape the wife of the guy lending out his place for a hideout. New plan, rapist gets tied to a tree near fake-cannibal country by angry husband while the other 2 run off into the jungle and suffer perhaps an even worse fate.

Ouch!! This film constantly screams "Not Italian" at the top of its lungs, which is the only thing drowning out the fake crickets. If Italian Cannibal icons such as Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox is what you're used to then Cannibal Terror will seem like a Cannibal movie from another dimension, or perhaps a sick joke posing as something it clearly is not... Or is it?

There are subtle qualities in this one that I prefer over "the real ones", although, they are few and far between, but I think the biggest problem most fans of the genre would have is the gore quality, I've just never seen gore like that before, but wow, it sure was a hell of a lot, regardless of what that stuff actually was.

The Cannibals, who I swear I heard one of the characters refer to as Indians are plain and simple, the worst cannibals ever. Some of them are clearly white, some of them have sideburns, but in their defense, they seem a bit more level-headed and fair than their authentic counterparts.

When watching Cannibal Terror, don't compare it to the others, compare it to something overrated from Jess Franco and you won't go wrong. Awkward dubbing, pointless one-liners, unintentional humor, an obvious euro-vibe and ineptness from all directions is what you should expect. because it's exactly what you're getting. Don't hate Cannibal Terror, it tried. 7/10