Muerde el polvo

My childhood days of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD are long gone, which means it's time to dig up what was once grand: car chase movies. This one is special because it's another rip-off of SMOKEY & THE BANDIT, and also another with the name "Smokey" in the title (how many were there???). Every so often, a movie would thrill us living around 1980 over its display of automotive carnage, but haven't we seen enough? It's no better than GRAND THEFT AUTO, another Roger Corman production about high-speed pursuits. Not sounding politically correct in these modern times, kids would've probably liked this cartoonish flick that's been easy to please, as it shows off some over-the-top goofiness and kooky characters, including a "sheik" (!!!). The car crashes are fun to watch for 8-year olds, though. And, yes, no movie is complete without Dick Miller as comedy relief. Likewise, if you've seen one movie, you've seen it all. Diehard fans won't go wrong, but the movie offers absolutely nothing that's new and improved.

Cursed be you, Burt Reynolds.

Because of "Smokey and the Bandit", the movie-going public has been forced to slog through millions of pale imitations of the same product, all to make a buck.

Which brings us to "Smokey Bites the Dust"; which, I think, DID earn at least a buck.

Meaning it broke even with its budget.

From the beginning scene where we see the Smokey of the title drinking from a baby bottle with booze in it while waiting for speeders in Backwater, USA, I knew I was in for a slow downhill ride to nowhere. I was right.

If one county, let alone backwoods town actually had this many car crashes in the course of one day, they could very well become the scrap metal center of the known world. As it turns out, this entire movie IS the scrap (minus the "s") center of the known world all by itself.

Gale Ann Hurd produced this when she was young and foolish. We all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

One star. Plus half a star for the dumb jock football player.

Smokey Bits The Dust got inflicted on the movie going public in 1981. And after two viewings of it I can't even tell you what the plot is of this mess.

Jimmy McNichol plays the local bad boy in this neck of the Ozark woods who just likes to race cars and wreck as many as he can because it's good clean fun. He's got the hots for the sheriff's daughter, Janet Julian, and on Homecoming Day he kidnaps her.

After this the whole film is one mindless 80 minute or so car chase in which law from other jurisdictions including some Arabs get involved. To be honest I actually tried figuring out what the plot was and couldn't.

Roger Corman produced this mess and shame on him.

No plot, no point, just a series of auto stunts and slapstick. Not sure why the Sheriff is careless with his daughter's life throughout, but At least many stunt drivers got a good paycheck.

This movies' thin excuse for a story: shameless car thief / speed demon / obnoxious punk Roscoe Wilton (Jimmy McNichol, "Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker") kidnaps homecoming queen Peggy Sue Turner (Janet Julian, "Humongous") and spends the majority of the movie outwitting and out-driving her flustered sheriff father (Walter Barnes, "The Big Gundown"). Naturally, many others get involved in the chase, too.

The price paid for the success of "Smokey and the Bandit" was indeed a steep one, as we once again get a cartoon with frenetic over-acting and mostly lame comedy. (That said, there is an occasional inspired gag.) The action is definitely preferable to the comedy, although, even so, a lot of the highlights are actually *lifted* from earlier Roger Corman productions "Eat My Dust!", "Grand Theft Auto", "Thunder and Lightning", and "Moving Violation".

The movie is passable overall; if you're not too judgmental and just want to put your brain in neutral for an hour and a half, you may be adequately entertained. Certainly this is a lively affair, with a breakneck pace and a cheerful "everything but the kitchen sink" approach; this leads to an admittedly amusing finale with a donnybrook involving multiple parties.

Other familiar faces you'll see include the always welcome Dick Miller ("Gremlins"), Kedric Wolfe and Charles Howerton from the directors' previous monster movie "Up from the Depths", William Forsythe ("The Devils' Rejects"), in one of his earliest feature film appearances, Kari Lizer ("Private School"), Mel Welles ("The Little Shop of Horrors"), Michael Greene ("To Live and Die in L. A."), Beach Dickerson ("Creature from the Haunted Sea"), Rance Howard ("Chinatown"), Nancy Parsons ("Motel Hell"), Angelo Rossitto ("Freaks"), and Tony Cox ("Bad Santa"). Director Charles B. Griffith appears on screen as the "mellow rabbi".

This may play like a "greatest hits" package of New World vehicular mayhem, but doubtless that some viewers will have few complaints. At least it's all relatively harmless.

Gale Anne Hurd was the co-producer.

Five out of 10.