Muerde el polvo

Cursed be you, Burt Reynolds.

Because of "Smokey and the Bandit", the movie-going public has been forced to slog through millions of pale imitations of the same product, all to make a buck.

Which brings us to "Smokey Bites the Dust"; which, I think, DID earn at least a buck.

Meaning it broke even with its budget.

From the beginning scene where we see the Smokey of the title drinking from a baby bottle with booze in it while waiting for speeders in Backwater, USA, I knew I was in for a slow downhill ride to nowhere. I was right.

If one county, let alone backwoods town actually had this many car crashes in the course of one day, they could very well become the scrap metal center of the known world. As it turns out, this entire movie IS the scrap (minus the "s") center of the known world all by itself.

Gale Ann Hurd produced this when she was young and foolish. We all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

One star. Plus half a star for the dumb jock football player.

Smokey Bits The Dust got inflicted on the movie going public in 1981. And after two viewings of it I can't even tell you what the plot is of this mess.

Jimmy McNichol plays the local bad boy in this neck of the Ozark woods who just likes to race cars and wreck as many as he can because it's good clean fun. He's got the hots for the sheriff's daughter, Janet Julian, and on Homecoming Day he kidnaps her.

After this the whole film is one mindless 80 minute or so car chase in which law from other jurisdictions including some Arabs get involved. To be honest I actually tried figuring out what the plot was and couldn't.

Roger Corman produced this mess and shame on him.

No plot, no point, just a series of auto stunts and slapstick. Not sure why the Sheriff is careless with his daughter's life throughout, but At least many stunt drivers got a good paycheck.

People who rated this down do not know the appeal of loony b-movies. "Smokey Bites The Dust" is for those who appreciate watching a wild escapade while drinking brews and relaxing after an intense week. Plenty of car chases, but what I dig the most are all the rules this movie breaks. You even have a young boy and girl smoking cigarettes by conning people, even police. I don't care what any do-gooder millennial says, it's pretty damn funny! Also, the perfectly laid-back 70's aura drew me in, especially since I'm a 70's junkie (I grew up in that decade). Oh, and because of the fact Jimmy McNichol (Kristy's brother) has the starring role as a car thief and "abductor". Let's just say it's almost as rad as "The Van" and more rad than "Used Cars", both of which are similar in theme. Again, this cult classic is for people who enjoy late-night carefree fun, not for people addicted to Judge Judy reruns.

OK, sure the movie pretty much sucks, but it's definitely worth it to see some cool car chases if you are a car chase fan. After realizing how many precious classic Dodge Chargers were destroyed during the "Dukes of Hazzard" TV run, it's also kinda sad to see a hot '57 Chevy banged up in chases (watch the disappearing dents, they used more than one of course) but the highlight definitely is that great crash by the '57 through the roof (where of course, McNichol simply keeps driving after the car lands). This chase, with the '57 Chevy, just may be one of the greatest car chases ever put on film actually, it's just too bad it's in a comedy and not a 'serious' film.

The comedy is definitely bad, with maybe the funniest scene probably being the truck driver who backs in McNichols' way in an alley, who says "nooo!" with a hilarious look on his face. So hey, pick this one up off ebay for the chases, and watch with the volume turned off when you can to avoid the painful dialogue.