C.O.D.

My review was written in July 1983 after watching the film on videocassette.

Made over two years ago with the title "Snap!", "C. O. D." is a fitfully amusing German-backed but American-made sex comedy which is too soft (PG-rating instead of today's near-obligatory R) for much usage beyond the drive-in circuit and subsequent tv exposure.

West Germany has been exporting scores of light sex comedies (notably the endless "Schoolgirls" series) over the past decade which unspool at U. S. drive-ins in R-rated or soft X-rated dubbed versions with little public notice. "C. O. C." is similar in format to these (especially a mid-1970s title "Penthouse Playgirls"), dealing with the efforts of peripatetic young adman Albert (Chris Lemmon) to sign five beautiful and famous international women to contracts endorsing Dumore Industries' line of brassieres.

Along the way, there are some effective slapstick and gags, but the main thrust of the picture is to display an impressive assemblage of actresses known for their top-heavy superstructures. Former Penthouse mag pinup Corinne Alphen appears as a Hollywood star seen filming a satirical horror flick "The Zombies' Revenge". Teresa Ganzel (of "The Toy") is cast as the president's dizzy blonde daughter, black actress/stripper Marilyn Joi is alluring as a disco singer, Carol Davis is a fiery Italian countess and German starlet Dolly Dollar appears as a top-heavy wrestler. In context, the lovely German actress Olivia Pascal (memorable in "Vanessa") is cast as Albert's plain-Jane secretary. Even the running gags involving Albert's opposition are handled by the divertingly busty Jennifer Richards.

With all this pulchritude on the bill, "C. O. D." opts for an old-fashioned risque approach in its teasing avoidance of nudity or sex scenes, which have become a staple of comedies of late. A big plus is the work of Jack's son Chris Lemmon, carrying his hectic role with enthusiasm and solid comic timing. Also of value is the original English soundtrack recording which separates this from the throwaway dubbed project.

Chuck Vincent's direction is fast-paced, boosted by location-hopping production values that are way above average for the genre. Robert Pusilo's costume and production design work is suitably garish.

Now almost forgotten, C.O.D. (1981) (German title "Snap") was a staple of the old "usa-up-all-night's" programming. The humor was a bit more sophisticated and satirical than most of their exploitation film selections; perhaps reflecting the German influence in the writing and the production. And unlike most it had a quality cast, many of whom have gone on to assemble impressive acting resumes.

Chris Lemmon plays Albert Zack, a relatively dim young advertising executive whose client is the financially failing Beaver Bra Company. The company chairman believes the enterprise can be saved if Albert can get their bra line endorsed by famous busty woman. He has selected five celebrity women and the film consists of five separate segments with the blundering Albert and his female secretary / good-girl-love-interest (played by Olivia Pascal) devising ways to meet them and pitch the endorsement idea. Getting past the escorts and security people involves an assortment of costumes and subterfuge. Working against them is a board member who wants the company to fail, with the biggest laughs coming from his female associate's (played by Jennifer Richards) attempts to stop Albert.

Corinne Alphen and Carole Davis play two of the celebrity women. They were arguably the two most erotic actresses of their decade and are both nicely showcased in their segments. Both had an instinctive acting for-the-camera ability. Former Penthouse Pet-Of-The-Year Alphen was the Nancy Kovack of the 80's, with a remarkably low upper arm to bust ratio. Even in this early role Davis radiates an intelligence and self-knowing whimsy that nicely complements her obvious physical assets.

The front-end-loaded pun refers to the ordering of the segments, as Alphen and Davis are featured early and the other three actresses are simply not up to their standard. Although "The Toy's" Teresa Ganzel does her standard airhead blonde quite competently. This peaking early is the film's only weakness, with little to hold your interest after Davis' hilarious film-stealing appearance as the mega-erotic Contessa Bazzini.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.