J-Men Forever

This is insanely, oxygen-depleting laughter-inducing FUNNY stuff. Using public-domain serial footage and dubbing it into a faux noir story with occasional new B&W material, this is laugh-out-loud, fall over funny. Loads of cliches stand on their heads and dance, and the title isn't explained until the v-e-r-y last moment. Help destroy wimpy music - catch this however you can!

Note: No spoilers included. There's not enough of a plot to be spoiled!

"Now, ah, Drugs are bad, m'kay?" That's what the J-Men think, and Rock and Roll is just as evil. That's pretty much the plot of the movie. Doesn't sound like much, but trust me, it's more than the movie needs.

In this movie, a group of geniuses have taken a bunch of different old movies and serials, (Mystery Science Theater 3000 material) and spliced them to form one gigantic laugh. You see the original footage, but you hear a completely re-dubbed (and much funnier) dialog.

With Woody Allen's brilliantly silly re-dubbing of a Japanese action movie for What's Up Tiger Lily? Peter Bergman and Phil Proctor went the extra mile combing through countless old Republic serials to piece together the silly story of J Men Forever. With the evil narcissist The Lightning Bug hidden on the moon, he plans to conquer Earth by beaming down and hi-jacking all bland radio stations with this new hideous 'rock n' roll' he's devised. Bergman and Proctor nicely interject themselves as lead J-Men in a office assigning super agents to thwart this Lightning Bug and his henchmen. Despite the inconsistencies and outright silliness of the dialog and all, it still is a very creative and cohesive movie for it's time. Later to be embellished upon with the likes of Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and even Woody's return with Zelig. But J Men Forever deserves more credit and respect for it's meagre reworking and budget to pull it off like they did so independently and with a true passion for all the old serials.

A bizarre villain, as well as a master of disguise, known as the Lightning Bug is planning to eliminate all easy listening and classical music to be replaced by whining banal rock. Its up to the J-Men and stock footage from Republic serials to save the day. The movie is hilarious, even if you never seen a serial in your life. The footage is intercut in the story flawlessly. The only setbacks are the actual filmed scenes and the fact that the film wasn't any longer. If your a serial fan though, this DVD is for you. Rating- 9.

PS- The extra includes an interview by Philip Proctor with George Wallace, lead in the 1952 serial Radar Men from the moon. Judging from the way the interview went, Proctor didn't have all of his facts straight entering the query.

I know `J-Men Forever' was at one time available on video back in the mid-80's because I remember seeing it for rent in a video store. (The video store has long since gone out of business.)

The movie is a hoot. It is one of my fond memories of my early 30's. Sadly, now that the hipsters of the '70's have turned into their parents, a movie like `J-Men Forever' is probably now lost forever. You can bet your bottom dollar you won't see it on the USA cable network, or any other conglomerate-owned media outlet. Not that it's the least bit risqué, but it sends out the `wrong message' in our now more conservative times, if you know what I mean. It is all really unfortunate.