La isla

I wasn't sure what to expect with THE ISLAND. One critic thought it was smelly fish chum and another thought it was a great modern-day pirate story. I originally thought it was a sea creature story like Jaws.

I was thrilled to watch it this morning and discover that it is that rare breed of a film: so much is wrong like bad dialog & unlikely situations, bad acting from every single extra in the film (casting call at the community college everybody!!), kid turns WAY too quickly against dad but dad is probably the most incompetent dad you'll see (hey, this is much better than Disneyland...hired the worst pilot on the face of the planet because you're too cheap to pay for a boat and now held captive in a 3rd world nation. Thanks dad!), cheezy violence, that music that plays during the violent ship attacks would work for Errol Flynn but not here.

But it's films of this badness that can be more fun than so-called great films. Especially the first time you watch them. I'm the type that seeks out films like Bad Taste, Hysterical, Evil Dead and The Island because they go against the copycat stream of Hollywood films.

NOTE: I would've spanked that kid within an inch of his life and I don't even believe in physical punishment of children. I think we all agree here! LOL

This is one of the most entertaining films I've seen recently. The pirates are believable; I enjoyed their antique English dialogue. I do not understand why the viewer ratings for this film are so low; I would give it an 8 out of 10.

Journalist and son investigate mysterious boat disappearances in Caribbean and end up victims themselves, kidnapped by pirates, real pirates, who still cling to the traditions of the buccaneer past. Funny how I've developed nostalgia for the bad films of the 70s and will more readily sit through them then 90% of the junk that's released today. As far as being quality effort movie making wise, this really isn't so bad. The story is unique and interesting, far-fetched yes. Most of the plot turns are equally nonsensical, but the acting and direction is first rate. The violence is heavy handed, and it really bugged me as a kid. But I think viewing it now; it well captures the true brutality of the pirate mentality. The one thing that really sinks the film is the kid. He's terrible and terribly annoying. They overdub his voice, like they seemed to do with kids quite often back then, and it's a total distraction. Also his characters transformation and brainwashing, never sits right with you. You are not ready to forgive him in the end as intended. Good weird sex, and some terrific action sequences however, make this movie worth a look and not nearly as awful as critics paint it.

This movie should have done better at the boxoffice. Not too many people know about it, but it's an intriguing modern-day pirate tale with plenty of surprises and it's spiked with a healthy dose of black humor. Michael Caine plays a journalist assigned to investigate some mysterious disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle and decides that the trip would be a perfect vacation opportunity for him and his son to reconnect after being somewhat estranged due to divorce. They soon run afoul of a roving band of modern-day pirates who kidnap them and try to turn the son against father via brainwashing. Will Caine and his son escape the clutches of these scurvy scalawags? Finding out will be all the fun!

To go on would definitely spoil some of the many surprises, but be ready for plenty of amusing action, sharp humor and some hair-raising violence (including a finale that would make Sam Peckinpah DAMN proud!) A very entertaining adventure that deserves to be re-discovered. ***stars

This film is a true oddity. In some ways it could have been a good children's film, with oddball pirates and exotic locations, but unfortunately is full of nudity and violence, particularly at its gory climax. Some truly bizarre scenes, such as the pirate who sets light to his hat during raids, a mating ritual involving some kind of mud and an otherwise naked man who carries a leather pouch in front of his genitals when he turns up on a hunt party. Intermingled among this weirdness is some intended comedy, sometimes inappropriate, such as when one pirate sniffs another's feet during a burial at sea. No doubt it is things like this which has earned the film a cult status.

But viewed as an adult film, it makes little sense. This starts early in the film when a gun shop is quite happy to sell a weapon to a 12 year old boy (are US gun laws really this slack?). Next Michael Caine decides to take his son with him on what is a potentially dangerous trip (his son wants Disneyland). Next a wacko pilot (and his pet pig) take Caine and son to Navidad where they are flagged down when trying to land (no explanation for this is given) and the plane crashes. The pilot is remarkably chipper about this. And this is merely the first 20 minutes before we meet the pirates and their peculiar ways.

This bizarreness does make the film strangely watcheable.