- Baron Munchhausen: Smart-looking face is not a sign of intellect. All the dumb things in the world are done with that facial expression. Smile, gentlemen, smile.
- [trying to prove that Baron was a bad husband]
- Ramkopf: He threw out a wife with a child.
- Theophil Munchhausen: I am not child. I am an officer!
- Ramkopf: He threw out a wife with an officer.
- Baron Munchhausen: Why can't you understand that Baron Munchhausen is famous not because he flew or did not fly to the moon, but because he doesn't lie.
- Pastor: I've already noticed, baron, you've got rare books.
- Baron Munchhausen: Yes, many of them are autographed.
- Pastor: It must be so pleasant.
- Baron Munchhausen: Sophocles for example.
- Pastor: Who?
- Baron Munchhausen: Sophocles. This is his best tragedy "Oedipus Rex" with an inscription.
- Pastor: For whom?
- Baron Munchhausen: For me, of course. Here: "To dear Karl from his loving Sophocles to be warmly remembered."
- Marta: He
- [Pastor]
- Marta: was the fourth, Karl.
- Baron Munchhausen: Don't care! We shall invite a fifth, a sixth, a tenth, a twentieth.
- Marta: The twentieth will come just in time for my funeral, Karl.
- Baron Munchhausen: Let's talk about something else. Is it worth spoiling such a nice evening?
- Marta: Is it evening now?
- Baron Munchhausen: [It's still light outside] Of course... Look at the moon... the stars!... I am coming to you, my darling...
- Pastor: You cannot get married the second time with your wife alive.
- Munchhausen: Are you proposing to kill her?
- Munchhausen: But you do allow kings to get a divorce?
- Pastor: Well... For kings... In extreme cases. When they need to produce an offspring.
- Munchhausen: In order to produce an offspring they need to do something else.
- Marta: [while visiting Munchhausen in Jail] I am ready to return to you. I shall stand everything.
- Baron Munchhausen: Me? Never.
- Marta: You face imprisonment.
- Baron Munchhausen: A nice place.
- [Short Pause]
- Baron Munchhausen: Here, next to me are Ovid, Cervantes. We shall be knocking at the walls.