Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire

A strange little film that never made it at all. It deserved, perhaps, to develop something of a cult following, but this hasn't happened and the film will now, perhaps, slowly vanish from view forever.

Based on a strange and sometimes bewildering snooker match, this musical was never going to make it in the US. Why not? Well, they don't play much snooker in the States for a start but more to the point the film's two main characters are based on Ray Reardon and Jimmie White. These names are very familiar in the UK thanks to extensive snooker coverage on the television, but totally unknown in the USA.

I don't think Clarke was ever really at home directing this movie. It just isn't really his thing - a musical about snooker. He attempted to work in many more optical special effects but most of these were taken out in the final cut - a pity as some were so tongue in cheek that they might just have given the film a better chance of gaining a cult following. Clarke seemed, in the end, to err on the side of caution which is, perhaps, the failing of this film.

This is no ordinary musical. The plot is simple enough: Maxwell Randall (the Green Baize Vampire) is six times world snooker champion and Billy Kid is the cocky young upstart looking to steal his crown. Add to them T.O. (The One), Billy's wide boy manager, the Wednesday Man, to whom T.O. owes a large gambling debt, and Miss Sullivan, a trouble making journalist, and there you have it (apart from two sets of hangers on who make up the chorus). Basically, Maxwell wants to set up a grudge match (the loser will never play professional snooker again), the Wednesday Man tricks T.O. into accepting the challenge by assuring him that Maxwell will not be "at his best", and Billy finds that he has been set up to lose.

What makes this peculiar film work is the stark, to-the-point direction of Alan Clarke (responsible for such hard hitting productions as "Scum" and "The Firm") the rock/opera influenced music of the highly respected composer George Fenton ("The Madness of King George", "Cry Freedom", "Gandhi" etc.) and the clever scripting and original lyrics of Trevor Preston. Take into account three wonderfully tongue-in-cheek central performances from Phil Daniels (Billy), Alun Armstrong (Maxwell) and Bruce Payne (T.O.) and you have the ingredients for what I am quite happy to admit is my all time favourite film. There are those who may say that Clarke, Fenton, Daniels, Armstrong and Payne must have taken leave of their senses to agree to do such a downright weird project in the first place (I have a feeling that at least one of the above might even agree with those detractors) but I can't see anything wrong with a musical about snooker that includes references to Bela Lugosi and arcade games, has characters tangoing about and shooting snooker balls into pockets with the help of a revolver and basically, sends itself up with obvious glee.

I'd be the first to admit that the three lead actors have all done a great deal more admirable work than this. I've seen Alun Armstrong in countless stage productions and he never fails to impress. Bruce Payne was nothing short of breathtaking in Steven Berkoff's "Greek" and Phil Daniels as Alex in the RSC's "A Clockwork Orange" is still one of the most outstanding performances I've ever seen from any actor, on any stage, anywhere. However, I will always remain particularly fond of the off-the-wall characters that the three brought to life in this wonderful film and I don't care what anyone else says, I think it's just great.

If you haven't already seen "Billy the Kid & the Green Baize Vampire" you'll be extremely lucky if you ever do. It was first shown on UK television in the mid-eighties and has, I think, been repeated just once. Zenith Productions sold the rights (or whatever it is they do) some time ago and, search as I may, I've been unable to locate it. I'm just grateful that I had the forethought to tape it when Channel Four showed it all those years ago and only hope that my VCR never gets hungry and chews it up!

My enthusiasm for this film probably does no more than give it a one woman cult following but if there are any more odd little "BTK..." fans out there, please add your comments; it'd be comforting to know that I'm not alone.

I've never gone back to comment on a film for a second time before. However, having finally managed to see BTK & the GBV on the big screen (never in a million years did I think I'd get that opportunity) I just had to say a few more words.

I long ago lost count of how often I've seen this film but I was amazed at how much detail is lost when viewing it on a TV screen. Not only can so much more of the background be seen but the actors' expressions are so much clearer, which means the whole event is that much more enjoyable. I also found that the clever and sometimes intricate editing was much more noticable on a larger screen. I didn't mention him in my first review but Stephen Singleton did a brilliant job as editor and it's not surprising to find that he's been such a fixture in the work of various members of the production team.

When the National Film Theatre announced that they were doing a 'Focus on Alan Clarke' season, I didn't think for one moment that his most obscure movie would be included in the line-up. As one of the twenty or so people in that cinema, I sat there with a big grin on my face from beginning to end. I just couldn't believe my luck.

This really is surreal film making at its very best and a fine testimony to the brilliance of the late Alan Clarke.

It's on DVD! (At last I can bin my beta-max tape.)

I tried a few years ago to put together a stage version of BTK&GBV but it was quite some task trying to work out who held the performance rights. When I spoke to George Fenton (the EXCEPTIONALLY talented composer) he was flattered by my interest in the score but had no idea if there were any copies still in circulation. Obviously I was disheartened not get any further with the project but worse still is that the film print seemed to have disappeared as well. Thank goodness the DVD has now appeared.

The cast is an interesting selection of talent, mostly seen on British TV rather than the movies. Never the less, an highly original musical - performed with GUSTO!

And I thought I was alone too.

My mates laughed in my face when I mentioned a film called 'Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire'.

I showed them the IMDb listing and the laughing stopped but I've never been able to show them the film itself.

Indeed I've not seen the film for at least 15 years.

I remember it from my childhood. I taped it from Channel 4 in a top-loading VHS recorder. I used to tape loads of films.

I remember its unique quirky style - its odd songs and that character that undoubtedly was a nod to Ray Readon the classic 'vampire' snooker player.

Alas through the years it was taped over - no doubt with a bond movie and I've not seen it since.

I doubt it will appear on DVD as its not quite mass-market material. But what a lovely off-beat film. I'd love to see it again.

"Green stamps...." (Spooky)

Cheers Phil