Zombie Island Massacre

It has been a while since I have seen this film - almost five years. This film is so predictable, all the dumb tourists get to die first, and the cunning tourists fight it out - but where are the zombies? I think i only remember seeing one through the film.

The gore scenes could have been a bit longer, as they were set in the Caribbean jungle, the usual props are there - a pit covered in leaves and the stoners fall in, speared to death by a sharpened bamboo pole. Some of the lighting in the film is a bit dull, too. The soundtrack is one I like (Harry (Friday the 13th) Manfrendini) had added this score of music to the film. Unfortunately, it doesn't cover enough for a film of this type - a real bow-wow. Only true zombie fans would enjoy this film.

Aside from a really stupid scene where black magic resurrects an island villager, there are NO ZOMBIES in this stupid movie! The "plot" is a rehash from a million other grade-Z thrillers, with bad actors walking around spouting nonsense dialogue, while a very bored audience waits for them to die. Correction: while a very bored audience waits for them to get EATEN BY ZOMBIES, which THEY DON'T! This isn't even a crappy "Dawn of the Dead" rip-off, it's nothing. A more appropriate title might have been "Boring People Massacre," or perhaps "Boring People on Island Where Nothing Happens".

This reminds me of two other really bad "zombie" movies where there were no zombies. "Revenge of the Living Dead," and "Virgin among the Living Dead," neither of which had any zombies whatsoever. When the title and poster art and description on the video box promise ZOMBIES, they should maybe HAVE ZOMBIES in the movie!

In any case, don't make the mistake I did. When and if you find this on your video shelf, DO NOT RENT IT!

The word "zombie" was added to the title to titillate--as was the presence of Rita Jenrette--as nymphet whose 15 minutes of fame came when talked publicly about her and her congressman husband's supposed tryst on the steps of the Capitol building. Normally, the adventures of a horny lady such as Jenrette would have quickly fizzled in the public's mind had she not subsequently posed for Playboy and starred in this cheap exploitation picture.

Those looking for zombies will no doubt be disappointed, though if you are looking for horny tourists who take off their clothes with little provocation (especially Ms. Jenrette) you will no doubt be satisfied. Heck, the film should have been more appropriately titled "Horny Island Massacre" as indeed there is lots of gratuitous killing and there's something about that tropical air that turns people into horn-dogs! Of course, given the title, the fact it was made by Troma Films AND the sleazy advertising campaign that accompanied the movie's debut, none of this should come as much of a surprise. It's NOT to be mistaken for Shakespeare and you can hardly expect more than you get.

The film has no stars (other than perhaps Jenrette--the Paris Hilton of her day) and has a rather low budget. The writing is pretty dim and there are only a few surprises along the way. One of the particularly silly bits is when the remaining five people wander into a mansion at night. It's totally dark outside, yet one of them almost instantly finds a small handgun hidden in the bushes!! He couldn't have found it faster if he'd had a map! There are also some really dumb people who act almost like they WANT to be killed they behaved so stupidly! I also loved the way Jenrette emoted when her movie husband was killed--it was so embarrassingly bad it gave me a chuckle.

Overall, the film is worth seeing only for the first two minutes, as you get to see an awful lot of the lovely Mrs. Jenrette--an AWFUL lot! After that, it's all down hill! A film worth watching only for bad film fan and the curious who want to catch a glimpse of Jenrette naked. All others beware!

Seriously do yourself a favour and learn from my mistake, just watch the trailer and skip the movie! Every interesting / good moment is in the trailer! This is an early Troma movie, and a bad one at that. Very little zombies, very little massacre and a bit of some island? It's super boring with a non existent plot, drab characters and nonsensical dialogue. There is some occasional nudity but that is not enough to save this movie. I spent 75% of this shopping on Amazon! The trailer is really good and is totally misleading in that it makes it out to be action packed, it is not, it's peoples conversing and wandering through the forest for an eternity! Skip it! Trust me!

Troma sells it as a "Zombie flick" but it's nothing else but a poor , ultra low budget slasher flick with minimal gore and predictable situations.

I feel weak when commenting about this because I'm a big Troma fan and I felt cheated. The only good thing about the movie is the mansion setting. It's dark and creepy and helped in some "important" situations in the movie.

Horror fans, this flick has ZERO zombies... it should've been involved in the witchcraft or voodoo category.

Please, don't waste your time or money on this. I doubt it will be aired because it'd be an insult to horror fans. I had the bad luck to watch it at midnight on USA NETWORK back in 1997 and since then I still feel angered when thinking about it.

2/10. Say NO to this.