Cementerio, el último paso

Mortuary (aka Embalmed) is one of a number of American horror movies made around this time that feature places involved in the funeral business, Phantasm, One Dark Night and Mausoleum being a few other examples. It was made during the Golden Age of the Slasher Movie but sadly the only thing golden on offer here is Bill Paxton's enjoyable performance, he plays the son of a funeral director and he likes listening to Mozart, skipping through graveyards and has an unhealthy obsession with a girl called Christie. She is played by Mary Beth McDonough and I found her performance fairly wooden. The movie also stars Christopher George (in his final film role) and his real life wife, the very attractive Lynda Day George. Although primarily a slasher movie the plot does throw in a cult led by C George which appears to be a mix of black magic and seances, pretty pointless but fun to watch, especially the wobbly, moving table! We get the usual, cliche thunderstorms at night and the identity of the killer is so obvious though he does look very creepy, there was not a great deal of gore on show (could be that the Hokushin VHS release that I watched was possibly cut) but we do get some nudity. I liked the creepy musical score, and having some Mozart for the end credits was cool. As a slasher fan I found it to be reasonably enjoyable but it is only a rather minor entry.

MORTUARY is about murder and occult conspiracy at the titular establishment. Christie and her boyfriend, Greg (Mary McDonough and David Wallace) become involved with the gruesome goings-on while looking for their missing friend. Christie is also being stalked by a cloaked madman!

Christopher George and wife, Lynda Day George (DAY OF THE ANIMALS, PIECES) also star, as the cantankerous mortician and Christie's mum, respectively.

EXTRA POINTS FOR: A young Bill Paxton, on hand as the mortician's weird son, Paul! He's a blast!

WARNING! THIS FILM CONTAINS: #1- Bloody violence with a rather novel weapon! #2- That "thump! thump!" heartbeat sound whenever the killer appears! #3- Pseudo-supernatural cheeeze that has nothing to do with the movie! #4- Inappropriate, after-death / very much alive nudity! On the embalming table! #5- 1980's "preppy" fashions! #6- Near-death by flying tire! #7- Intense "roller boogie" / impromptu disco dancing sequences! #8- An absolutely off-the-rails finale! Annnd, so much more!

Watch immediately!...

ARC, Artists Releasing Corporation, stands behind yet another film from the early '80's as a distribution company. These were the same guys responsible for releasing 1981's Incubus followed up by another Slasher in 1982 entitled Pieces (aka Mil gritos tiene la noche). This title falls in line with the familiar Slasher recipe, one of which you've seen quite often.

The story opens with two friends, Greg and Josh, that travel to the local mortuary; a point of employment before Josh was unexpectedly fired. While breaking and entering, the two men notice a strange ritual taking place in the lower levels of the establishment. The two are eventually separated long enough for Josh to be brutally murdered by the hands of a black-hooded fiend who dons white facial powder and black makeup. Greg quickly escapes and notices his van, which is parked outside, drive off; causing him to believe that Josh left without him. He manages to escape with the help of his girlfriend, Christie Parson, who is still mourning the supposed accidental death of her father. The young couple attempt to fit the pieces of the puzzle together by inspecting overlooked details. Periodically they are met by the mortuary owner's son, Paul Andrews (a 28-year-old Bill Paxton). Paul has an obvious crush on Christie but due to his awkward disposition and banal persona he is denied outright. With various clues to throw you off the beaten path you are left to decide the identity of the killer along with his modus operandi.

In my opinion, there are two different types of Slasher films. The first and most common would be the "whodunit" film where the murderer plays a role in the group that's methodically killed during the course of the story. Usually the audience is led down false channels to divert their attention of who the killer really is. The motive is usually jealousy or rejection but almost always caused by psychotic tendencies. The second type of Slasher film involves more of a rudimentary approach; a crazed, anonymous individual is on the loose, savagely butchering the "fish in the barrel" as it were, until finally a plot detail is uncovered and some connection can be drawn. Of all the Slasher films I've seen (I've seen over 25 from the 1980's alone), these formulas, sometimes even a combination of the two, are almost always represented in some way or another. Mortuary adheres to the first equation I mentioned: a group of actors are introduced, certain characters show up at convenient times, and the true villain is revealed.

One of the biggest problems with Mortuary is that it starts off well enough by building a dash of suspense and intrigue; a well done approach and clever contrivance that'll serve as a platform for merriment rather than sensory detainment. Okay...so why is this a problem? Well, it's not long before the film starts loosing momentum and the competent devices aforementioned start abandoning ship faster than the crew of a sinking vessel. This occurs instantly when Mortuary decides to take it upon itself to reveal the killer halfway through the story, ruining the shocking outcome you were hoping for.

As the sub-title of my review indicates, Mortuary attempts to seduce you with its impressive-looking box art but unfortunately the story doesn't play up to what you'd expect. In fact, you'd be doing yourself a great service if you choose not to even acknowledge the artwork and that's a sad state of affairs coming from me. Unfortunately, you're here on IMDb and undoubtedly examined it anyway, thus rendering my warning useless and all for naught. The presentation and graphical layout of a film's box art is essential to all movie-goers; the experience is not exclusive to fans of the horror genre. I believe that since this genre can be credited with visual expressiveness more than 50% of the time the accurate depiction of the film via artwork is a crucial step in forming our first impression. Shame on you Mortuary! Your adept use of artistry on the front cover holds dominion over our judgement! How dare you!

In closing, I thought it'd be decent of me to rate Mortuary fairly. Although I chose not to discuss in explicit detail the musical score, it's wonderful and a joy to listen to. It's a prime example of what a suspenseful chiller should employ to elevate or enhance the apprehensive sequences that follow. The acting just simply "gets the job done" along with an above-average lighting approach that heavily compliments a rich set construction. If the portions discussed precendently chose to pan out differently I may have loved this film - sadly, it's quite content on subsisting in the mid-ranged array of films that comprise my vault of horror.

Mortuary (1983)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A woman and her boyfriend think that there's something strange going on at a local mortuary and she believes it might be linked to the mysterious death of her father. Before long they discover that the mortuary owner (Christopher George) and her mother (Lynda Day George) are holding seances there and might know more than they are saying.

If you walked into a horror film in 1983 then you were more than likely getting into a slasher picture. The slashers were all the craze during this period and it was rare to see a film that didn't try to push the gore factor. MORTUARY is a film that isn't the most popular thing today and it's probably because there's not too much gore and violence. Instead of that stuff this film tries to deliver suspense and drama and it's actually a lot better made than you'd expect.

What I enjoyed about this film is the fact that it really did try to build up an atmosphere and scare the viewer. The film takes it's time telling its story and the mystery aspect of it was pretty good. Even better are the scenes where the killer, dressed in black and wearing a white mask, stalks the young girl. There's a sequence where he chases her around her house and it's very well-directed and it manages to have a great jump scene. The film also benefits from not going the gore route, although there are a few bloody murders scattered throughout.

The film also benefits from some nice performances including Mary Beth McDonough and David Wysocki. They played the lead kids doing the investigating and they at least keep you entertained and hold your attention. Bill Paxton is also very good here in a supporting role as the weird nerd who works at the mortuary. I've always been a fan of Christopher George and he too is good here. This would turn out to be his final film as he suffered a fatal heart attack before this picture was released.

MORTUARY has some flaws including the pacing and I'd argue that the ending doesn't work as well as it should have. Still, on the whole I thought the film was quite entertaining and especially when compared to what most horror films were doing at the time.

(**1/2 out of *****) In spite of some mediocre acting and a somewhat rambling storyline, this tasteless sickie has enough suspenseful and shocking scenes here and there to at least make it interesting. Christopher George (who was in several of these kinds of movies around this time) runs the title establishment, where he holds seances with community mothers and yells at his son (Bill Paxton!) for taking too long to embalm the cadavers. Mary Beth McDonough (from "The Waltons") plays a sleepwalking teenager who witnesses her father's murder (although no one believes her), and George's real-life wife, Lynda Day (who was in the awful "Pieces" with her hubby in the same year), plays her mother. Oh, and there's a creepy, pale-faced killer in a hood and cape running around stabbing and draining people with a large embalming needle. There are gratuitously prolonged shots of needles piercing stomachs, but there are also some genuine scares and a pretty good climax. Plus, you get Bill Paxton (who deserves the credit for this movie's two and a half stars) in an early, over-the-top performance, before he toned down for big-budget blockbusters (and yawn fests) like "Twister" and "Titanic." David Wallace plays McDonough's blonde-haired, beef-cake boyfriend, and, supposedly, Michael Berryman (from "The Hills Have Eyes") is in this thing, but I'll be damned if I spotted him.

HIGHLIGHT: Paxton, with full manic glee, conducts an imaginary Mozart symphony with an audience of dead bodies slumped in chairs behind him (the climaxes of both "Happy Birthday To Me" and "Madhouse" -- also ‘81 slasher films -- are curiously similar. I guess homicidal maniacs love an audience, dead or alive.)