Golok Setan

... ever! (I always wanted to write that:) Many years ago (in 1993 as I recall it) one of my former classmates persuaded me to watch what he called "a epic masterpiece". To this day it stands out to me as the worst movie I have ever seen. The acting, the story, the effects - everything is bad. Unless you are one of these people who just loves to appreciate trash, you should pass on this. However chances are that since you are reading this, you've already seen it.

Out of almost 500 movies this is the only non-short I've given a 1/10.

I haven't seen any other low-budget Asian warrior flicks, so I guess there's even worse things out there! Scary...

:P

Fans of bizarre foreign trash, oddball martial arts movies, low-budget gore-fests and crazy ninja flicks should find plenty to enjoy in this bonkers Indonesian fantasy film featuring loads of frantic fight action, spurting blood and bad special effects.

A tasty nymphomaniac crocodile queen abducts men from nearby villages, and keeps them trapped in her sub-aqua palace where she uses them to satisfy her sexual urges. When the evil queen sends one of her top fighters to kidnap a man about to be married, the ever-so-miffed wife-to-be teams up with good warrior Mandala (Barry Prima) to search for a magic sword which can help them defeat their enemies.

I enjoy bad films almost as much as I enjoy good ones and, if you feel the same way, then it is highly likely that you will find much to enjoy about this totally weird 80s effort from director Ratno Timoer. With its dreadfully executed, but very bloody, gore effects and non-stop fights, it is hard not to enjoy a movie which scores so high on the silly-ometer.

Invite a few friends round, have a few beers and sit back and enjoy watching endless hordes of crocodile men getting sliced by Barry, vicious killers battling each other for possession of the magical sword, a creature that is a serious contender for 'worst movie monster of all time', and bargain basement visuals that need to be seen to be believed.

The Devil's Sword might not be a great film, but it is definitely unmissable if you dig strange cinematic offerings from all corners of the globe. I give it 6 out of 10 (although it almost got a 7 for its excessive use of dry ice).

There exist only two types of conditions and circumstances under which I'm willing to watch a movie like "The Devil's Sword", and that's either together with a group of friends completely intoxicated by alcohol or other (slightly more illegal) drugs OR at a special type of themed festival in a ramshackle theater surrounded by a crowed of equally over-enthusiast genre fanatics! In this case, it was option number two, as the Belgian Off-Screen festival scheduled a crazy Indonesian 80s double-feature with "Lady Terminator" and this "The Devil's Sword". Now I already knew that the former was guaranteed entertainment; a completely bonkers and shameless "The Terminator" rip-off starring an unknown beauty (Barbara Anne Constable) as the reincarnation of a mythical Indonesian sea-queen on a relentless killing spree. I didn't know anything about "The Devil's Sword" yet, but the plot description and still looked equally amusing. Like "Lady Terminator", the film is also based on national heritage (legends, comic books…) but still grabs every possible opportunity to blatantly imitate the biggest Hollywood blockbusters. They really must have worshiped Arnold Swarzenegger in Indonesia back then because here the main inspiration comes from the Fantasy/Sword & Sorcery classic "Conan the Barbarian". The story is senseless and I won't bother too much to summarize, just keep in mind the following key words: atrocious acting, laughable dubbing, silly crocodile costumes, flying rocks, badly choreographed swashbuckling and chopped off heads. However, in sheer contrast to "Lady Terminator", which is truly a masterpiece in its own and very secluded league, "The Devil's Sword" quickly gets dull, repetitive and uninteresting. Around halfway through the film, I really had difficulties staying awake and even the cheerful crowd had tempered down. The long and tedious samurai/swashbuckling fights are supposed to cover up that the plot is weak and substantially void, but that naturally only works for about half an hour. Therefore the first 30 minutes are hilarious, with a crazily yelling freaks flying down a mountain on a piece of rock, only to interrupt a small town's wedding, claim that the husband is property of the subterranean Crocodile Queen and then subsequently slaughter the entire community. The only person that fights back more or less decently is the bride, whereas the broom cowardly hides behind his father-in-law. 5/10. Half of the points because I was entertained for about half of the film.

The most interesting part of the night was actually the introduction. For these two screenings, the festival's organization had invited one of the founders of the Mondo Macabro DVD-label that specializes in fancily releasing this type of globally neglected cinematic trash. This person, and I sadly forgot his name, shared a couple of lovely trivia facts with the audience. For example, Barbara Anne Constable was furious when she discovered via her 14- year-old daughter that "Lady Terminator" was released by the DVD label, because she hoped that the movie would never be shown outside of Indonesia. Another story was about the lead star of "The Devil's Sword", Barry Prima, who was quite a big star in Indonesia during the 1980s, but allegedly hated acting and particularly loathed the films he starred in. During an interview with the label, he stated that he only came to the interview to see the idiots that want to put the rubbish that were his films on DVD.

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of The Devil's Sword; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 1.25 Direction: 1.25 Pace: 1.25 Acting: 1.00 Enjoyment: 1.50

TOTAL: 6.25 out of 10.00

The Devil's Sword has to be one of the most enjoyable, though thoroughly awful, movies ever made. Should anybody not understand the appeal and draw of a B-Movie, then look no further than this one - It is the quintessential representative of the sub-genre.

The story tells of a village's curse. For the hamlet to prosper, they must elect a strapping young man to become the "Husband" of the Invisible Crocodile Queen. Husband is a loose term for a courtesan whose only job is to satisfy her carnal desires. Should he fail his Queen, he's swiftly fed to her cannibal pets, kept under lock and key in a bamboo cage. However, the nymphomaniac Queen's insatiability is too strong to control, and she dispatches her faithful warrior to rustle up her next Husband. This over-eagerness doesn't go down well with the villagers, especially the real wife of the newly Queen-selected Husband. And the fight between good and evil begins. Riding out of the hills to the sound of conflict comes our hero, Mandala. No sooner does he arrive in the blood-splattered town square than he realises this fight is personal. His combatant is his brother in training Banyunjaga, who abandoned the teachings of their master for fame and fortune. Not only does Banyunjaga serve the Crocodile Queen, but he also aspires to possess the Devil's Sword and be the greatest villain in history. Iman Tantowi, who wrote this epic, packs the tale with everything but the kitchen sink. Because he stuffs so much in, it sustains the viewers' attention and interest from fully waining.

And that would have been great, but then Ratno Timoer takes the director's chair. For the most part, he's not too bad a director. He has some decent ideas, and his cinematography is above average. Regretfully, the incidental elements render the movie inferior to its Asian counterparts: Like the farcical facial make-up, which consists of bad wigs, awful fake eyebrows, moustaches, beards, scars, and dirt. One rogue possesses the worst bald head I've seen, and it's not a latex cap like most effects teams use. It's a thick helmet of some variety, complete with false hair draped below it. You can see the actor's ears bent under its weight. Then we get to the aforementioned martial arts. For one thing, they needed better choreography and better fighters. There are too many missed hits and kicks that have devastating effects. However, they try to redress the action with absurd over-the-top special effects. Heads pop off like pop bottle tops after being agitated too much. And halfway through the picture, Timoer must have realised the action was too slow as he takes to speeding up the frames. Everybody ends up running around like hyper Speedy Gonzales. Arriba, Arriba, Andale, Andale. It looks ridiculous, but it brought a smile to my lips and a laugh to my voice, so it's all good.

The cast is passable for a movie such as The Devil's Sword. Nobody's winning an Oscar soon, but they will entertain you - even if it's for the wrong reasons. And I will state at this juncture that Barry Prima, who plays Mandala, is one of the best martial arts actors in the film. His acting isn't too terrible either.

All in all, The Devil's Sword is a tremendously fun and entertainingly bad B-Movie. I would passionately recommend it to anyone who loves B-movies and is having a bad day. This flick should elevate you above the drudgery of everyday life.

Step Away From The Crocodile Queen and come take a look-see at my Obsidian Dreams, Holding Out For A Hero, and Guilty Pleasures lists to see where I ranked The Devil's Sword.

Take Care & Stay Well.

Not as entertaining as the Warrior movies, this is still worth looking for. This time there is no evil Dutch Imperialists, but instead we get a Crocodile Queen in a pastel plastic cave, surrounded by her harem of cannibal sex slaves. As usual there is loads of martial arts, magic, and one and a half hour of memorable quotes. Oh, and the Devil Sword, the magical weapon who turns the owner into an invincible half God, or something like that. Yes, this is one trashy Indonesian movie, but it is still more entertaining than any Hollywood comedy. Did I mention the gory fights, the deadly parasol, the flying rock or the stone-headed cyclops?

Recommended.