Échale la culpa a Río

Now let me start by saying I love a good movie! I love a great script, engaging characters and brilliant cinematography.

***This movie has none of these things!

But it does have the type of storyline and pointless nudity that Hollywood seems unwilling to include in a mainstream film. This is one of those movies that was on HBO late at night when I was a kid and I loved it.

There's something to great nudity! We just don't celebrate it enough anymore! Plus Demi Moore pre-implants!

A comedy where a middle-aged man has sex with his best friend's teenage daughter would seem morally wrong on so many levels as to violate municipal zoning ordinances. So why my lack of shame in copping to really enjoying this movie?

Watching "Blame It On Rio" back in 1984 when I was 18, the following items appealed to me. 1. Michelle Johnson naked. 2. Michelle Johnson in white pants. 3. Michael Caine's monologues. 4. Caine's chemistry with Joseph Bologna. 5. Michelle in her two-toned bikini.

Watching it now doesn't change what I like so much as in what order. Michelle Johnson is an extraordinarily beautiful woman and an engaging presence when she doesn't have a crying scene, and I think I have grown to appreciate her in other stages of dress, but the person that makes this film work for me now is Caine, whose level of commitment to this film is a thing of wonder.

"Blame It On Rio" is a sex farce which skates around real human feelings with moments of slapstick and sitcom repartee. There are about 150 ways the film can go wrong, but Caine sells it by keeping it light and silly.

Caine's character, Matthew Hollis, is a sympathetic, awkward type whose life gets upended when his wife Karen (Valerie Harper) decides she isn't going with him on vacation to Rio de Janiero. So it's just him, his friend Victor (Bologna), Victor's daughter Jennifer (Johnson), and Matthew's daughter Nicole (Demi Moore.)

Victor rides Matthew about making the most of his new opportunity: "Is tasting life, creating a little magic, is that cheating? You're a long time dead."

Jennifer has her own ideas on what Matthew should be doing, which she unleashes on him at an evening wedding festival at a beach: "Poor Uncle Matthew, he never had a chance."

Her nude scenes still pack a punch, but its the stuff in-between the nude scenes that excite me more now. Caine with anything in his hands, whether it be grating a carrot or brushing his teeth, is joyfully amusing, and his one-liners as revealed "Alfie"-style to the camera are just a lot of fun: "He needed my help...it's like asking an arsonist become the fire chief."

Bologna also makes me laugh, but something else, too. In his own askew, over-emoting way, he's the heart that makes the film work. When he discovers his daughter has been seeing another man, he immediately settles on Matthew - for help finding the culprit. This accounts for the funniest scenes in the film, but it also gives us something to care about. You laugh at Victor's blindness, but you also feel a little between the giggles when he tells Matthew: "You're a rock."

The main problem I have with "Blame It On Rio" is it is not all that sharp in the one-liner department. Co-screenwriter Larry Gelbart was the guy behind "Tootsie" and the best years of the sitcom "M*A*S*H," but he and Charlie Peters don't produce an especially witty script. There are funny lines, but more duds than you'd expect. "I've always had a problem with nudity. Sometimes, when I'm getting undressed, I almost wish I could leave the room, know what I mean?" Matthew asks us at one point. Fortunately, the writing gets much better in the second half, especially in the last twenty minutes when Matthew discovers he's not the only guy keeping a secret.

Celebrated director Stanley Donen makes the most of the natural beauty and native music of his location while keeping everything as light and fizzy as a tropical drink. "Blame It On Rio" may be morally dubious, but it's solid Hollywood fun of the kind Donen delivered for decades and as good a film as any for him to go out on. And thanks to Caine, "Blame It On Rio" still holds up.

Stanley Donen directed many wonderful films from 1949 through the 1960s. But his career became very scattershot after the production code fell, and his big screen career came to a lamentable end with Blame It on Rio (1984). Although he later directed a nice little TV movie for ABC in 1999

The film is billed as a comedy, but its grim. Michael Caine stars as a man in the midst of a midlife crisis who, perhaps under the spell of a trip to sultry Rio, embarks on a brief affair with the nymphet daughter (Michelle Johnson) of his best friend (Joseph Bologna). The actors look embarrassed and stricken (this extends to Valerie Harper and Demi Moore as well), the script isn't funny (no laughs in this film, only one gag that produced a tiny smirk), the photography is flat, and the end result is very dour and unappealing.

But the worst mistake of all in the film is including a luscious black-and-white clip of the wing walking "Rio by the Sea-o" production number from 1933's Flying Down to Rio. The brief scene shows the studio system at its height, with true wonder and fascination. It leaves one lamenting the film around the clip all the more.

This film couldn't have been made at any other period of time than that tumultuous, garishly colored, love affair with dubious, cheesy excess known as the 1980's. At any other period of time, this movie would simply be overlooked as a horrid piece of meaningless crap. But not in the 80's, oh no. As a fine work of pure cheese, in the decade of cheese, this film is a sort of masterwork. Everything about this film is total cheese: the acting, the writing, the directing, and cheesiest of all, the music. Has a movie ever had a more grating theme than this movie? It even trumps "I Had The Time Of My Life" and "She's Like The Wind" from Dirty Dancing, which is no small accomplishment. And not only that, but the song is repeated several times throughout the movie. And oh, what else is there? Michael Caine's horrible hair, enormous glasses, and that whacky blue underwear he wears. And Joseph Bologna's insane overacting! Demi Moore's insane attempts at acting! And Michelle Johnson's ample nudity, ample bosom, and insane attempts at being seductive! One could charitably call this film an awkward misfire, but if you're up for it, it's a fine helping of cheese, and a good reminder that as bad as movies can be now, the 80's were the true decade of crap! Crap would never again be as hilariously crappy as it was in the 1980's, and Blame It On Rio is the king of 80's crap!

It's a travelogue/sex-comedy with great photography of Rio, funny jokes and a pleasing early eighties feel. All the typical aspects of life in Brazil are shown like Carnival, native gods/religion, topless sunbathers, street dancers, the monolith dome with Jesus on top etc. There are a lot of funny lines that will keep you entertained and Michael Caine delivers them well. The soundtrack has a lot of bossa nova strains (composed by Ken Wannberg) and adds to the sexy, lighthearted mood.