Hércules

Well what can you say? It was silly. Unintentional of course. However this kitsch-like presentation works because of how cheap and ludicrous it is. Some things have got to be seen to be believed and this 80s take on "Hercules" has plenty in store. One sequence just sticks in mind, other than that meaninglessly grand opening. Hercules taking on a vicious bear. Cool! However how it's executed had me snickering. Actual bear footage spliced together with someone donning a very convincing bear suit. How to end it. The bear suit being flung into outer-space. It's just part of the tragedy that occurs… you know for dramatic effect.

"Hercules" is a low-grade, straight-laced good vs. evil sword and sorcery epic mainly consisting of echoing voices, tacky optical FX, colourful decors (sometimes miniatures) with moody lighting and some atmospheric illustrations / confrontations. The production did drum up some striking images amongst it's cheap sets / effects, but despite that it wasn't principally all that creative in presenting the material. How it plays out, is like a cosmic chest game between the gods. Hercules (the champion of men) must rescue a princess from being sacrificed and encounters obstacles along the way. Some odd moments (like the tin-bot monsters) and lame dialogues. Lou Ferrigno as Hercules has the physic, constantly flexing and twitching his muscles. Wooden, but fitting. William Berger milks it up in the villain role and Sybil Danning looks fetching, but has bite with her villainous turn. Brad Harris and Mirella D'Angelo also appear. Pino Donaggio scores the bombastic soundtrack. Director Lugi Cozzi does a clunky job, but keeps it moving along at a smooth pace. Ham-fisted, but charming entertainment.

I loved this movie, as well as Lou's Sinbad. One of my favorite features of the movie was the "dialog of the nod." If you watch most of the expository scenes you'll see the camera close-up is on the listener, not the speaker. So what you get visually is the reaction of the non-speaking actor. This seemed very consistent through the movie.

I figured this trick was use to make dubbing in any language possible without bothering to lip-sync. But once you notice, it get pretty hilarious.

The sound effects when Hercules throws the bear into space (it bounces around to the sound of a pinball machine) is another great cinematic moment; we watched this one scene half a dozen times, laughing our heads off.

Hercules directed and written by Luigi Cozzi stars the great Lou Ferrigno as the title character and takes great liberties with his story. It's aimed squarely at kids, with its colorful characters and even more colorful special effects. What i liked about it was the steady pacing, the absolutely weird musical cues and Lou's solid, if perhaps too straight performance.

Forget all you know about Herc, this film stands on its own. Some of the old tale is here, baby Herc does crush snakes sent by his stepmother Hera and he does grow up peacefully not knowing why he's so strong. An early battle with a giant bear is well-shot. Lou certainly looks the part, unlike some other actors who tried and he isn't that bad with the dialog, which is very ripe.

In this version Herc's great love is Casseopeia, played by the very easy to look at Ingrid Andersson. I so wanted to get that veil off her face! Herc must win her hand by competing in a series of bizarre rites of Strong. Including the classic cleaning of the stables. Which is a great sequence using miniatures and super-imposition. Even the rocks look heavy and real for a change! Still Zeus, and at least one actor, Claudio Casselinni, was understated, wants the sides of good and evil to be balanced, so Herc and Cass are separated.

Not to fear, Herc soon hooks up with sorceress Circe, played by another beauty in a barely there outfit. She aid him in his celestial quest to conquer the evil of Thera and save Cass from being a virgin(!) sacrifice!

The set for Thera, the green isle of Atlantis actually, is one of the best I've seen outside of Star Wars: Episode IV, its truly a great work of lighting and miniature sets, complete with a flame-wielding colossus. Herc's great strength is no match for the witch Adriana (called Ariana in my version,) played by the buxom Sybil Danning, but his great heart is, he's loyal to Cass. This all leads to a duel with the evil King Minos, who wants science to rule the world at the expense of all emotion. Their duel with Herc wielding the sword of Zeus and Minos the fire sword of Atlantis is great. The finale is spectacular and I love Herc's ending line to the rescued Cass. and check her final outfit, wow! "How do I know you're really Casseopeia? Or are you Adriana is another form or Circe reborn?" She responds "I am all and none of them. I am the one who loves you!"

Cool movie, what I didn't like was the cheesy robots, they simply looked bad! Also why was Daedelus, the God who helps Minos, played by a woman? Some elements of the plot were confusing. Still this a great family adventure, the hero is great the girls are lovely and there is nothing objectionable save some light violence. If you're looking for a fun movie that doesn't require too much brain power, this is it!

Luigi Cossi who brought us the rather splendid, gut exploding opus, Contamination, here delivers the tale of the mightiest man who ever lived - Hercules! Interestingly however, despite the rather splendid Greek mythology at hand, Cossi instead opts for a bizarre sci-fi themed version of events involving robot monsters and Gods in space(!) Um....anyway, moving swiftly on, our eponymous hero is played here by none other than the awesomely ripped Lou (The Hulk) Ferrigno who proceeds to show us exactly just how mighty he is by throwing a bear into space(!) and breaking sword blades mounted on chariot wheels on his manly thighs(!) Woah!!! What a man!!!!

Quite rightly highly regarded in bad movie circles, this is to put it mildly, something of a bloody mess. Still, on a positive note the ladies here are all truly mouth watering to behold, including the ever sexy Sybil Danning......mmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! Hell, more than reason enough to at least have a watch me thinks.

Cheesy greatness from Cannon and those geniuses Golan-Globus combines post-Star Wars science fantasy with 1960s Italian sword & sandal movies. The pre-credits history of the universe is highly informative. I never realized that's how it all came to be. My teachers were liars. Lou Ferrigno is an impressive sight to behold, for sure. Each of his pecs is bigger than my head. Zeus looks like Jon Stewart with a crown and fake beard. Sexy Sybil Danning isn't in this nearly enough but is enjoyable when she is. Ingrid Anderson is gorgeous and her revealing outfit in the latter half of the movie made me drool.

The dubbing, special effects, sets, and costumes are all cheap but fun. The stop-motion mechanical monsters are beyond cute. The highlights of the movie are Hercules' many impressive feats of strength, such as hurling a bear into space and creating the constellation Ursa Major or pushing apart two bodies of land and creating the continents of Europe and Africa. Again, my teachers were liars. Watch baby Hercules kill the snakes -- that poor baby didn't understand what the heck they had him doing!

This is an entertaining movie. I really don't see how you cannot find it fun to watch. Granted, most of that fun comes from the unintentional comedy it produces but that's still something, right? If I have to watch a movie that is technically and artistically lacking in any kind of quality, I would rather it be a movie like this that has some comedic value than some boring A-list movie that has me sitting on my hands the whole time.