Death Screams

There's a lot of charm in House of Death (or Death Screams depending on which version you watch). The film feels like a homespun passion project where all local community theatre performers and fame struck locals came out and had a good time trying to make a movie. Charm will only go so far and, while House of Death excels in creating a believable and quaint small town atmosphere, it fails at supplying any memorable chills. Some of the death scenes are inspired such as a moment where a young woman is attacked on a deserted merry go round or when another unfortunate soul is sliced in half after falling through a rotten staircase, but the killer's big reveal happens so quickly and is lit so dark that you'll have to rewind to figure out who they were.

This is by no means a good horror flick, and one too many times teeters on being an incoherent, stupid mess. But it does have a few things that redeem it from being a total loss. The story focuses on a small town festival and a group of "teens" who want to hang out in the local cemetery and tell ghost stories to celebrate the last day of the town carnival??? You're guess is as good as mine. Anyhow, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess that a mysterious killer lurks in the shadow who is p****d about one thing or another and decides to take his frustrations out with a machete. Slow moving at first with some ridiculous death scenes--example: a girl at the local carnival gets viciously attacked and shot with a bow and arrow by the killer, but instead of running back to carnival or to anywhere where people are at, the dumb broad seeks refuge on an old merry-go-round where she is prime meat for the killer!! The redeeming qualities come at the end of the film when the group finally gathers at the old cemetery. From that point on, the murders happen very rapidly and are quite graphic. However, the every ending then becomes even more confusing as the killers identity is revealed with really no explanation of his motive. I also love how the sheriff shows up, sees the killer but has no idea that the guy really IS the killer, and just blows his head off for the hell of it?! But like I said, not a total waste..if you like machete murders, the last 20 minutes of the films should satisfy you. 4 out of 10.

(** out of *****) The titular `house' only appears in the last ten minutes or so of this overly familiar, early-'80s horror flick. That detail aside, this movie isn't the worst of its kind (that would be "Hell High"), but it's also far from the best. If you can make it past the interminably long carnival scene -- with a group of young, vacuous girls and hunky, meat-head guys walking around making jokes and playing games -- you'll get a few so-so chills and thrills (and mostly off-screen machete murders) once the gang winds up in the cemetary to tell ghost stories (the lead heroine tells a lousy version of the classic urban legend about the girl who's home alone and thinks that's her dog under the bed licking her hand.) Other than a decapitated head or two, there's more nudity than gore, including an interesting, role-reversal shower scene in which a man is stalked in his apartment while taking a shower. There's some minor backplot and attempts at character development, but there are also gaping plot holes and a weak attempt to make the killer's identity a mystery (you should have no trouble figuring it out.) The film quality's pretty crummy, and the out-of-place, Sesame Street-sounding soundtrack is one of the worst I've ever heard.

HIGHLIGHT: Speaking of the soundtrack, if you do happen to run across this movie at the video store, go ahead and rent it solely for the opening credits sequence -- the music that plays over this sequence is so hysterically over the top that you will not believe it. Listening to this ludicrously epic music play over slow-motion scenes of dead bodies floating underwater was a surreal experience. I had to rewind it and watch it over three or four times. Seriously, some underground techno or indie-rock band needs to find this movie and sample the soundtrack. It blew me away. Of course, drinking helps.

I saw this film under the title "House of Death". Although it may seem standard and cheesy, it's lots of fun to watch, and it's fairly gory, too! Nine teenagers who live in a small North Carolina town go to the local carnival and have lots of fun. What they don't know is: a killer is stalking them! They proceed to go to a cemetery, tell ghost stories, and camp out in a creepy old abandoned house. Could the killer be lurking inside? Though predictable, "Death Screams" is rather fun, exciting, and scary. The music, I thought, was pretty good, and the actors weren't bad either. Many scenes are atmospheric and misty, and believe me, there are "Death Screams" aplenty in this one!

This early 80's slasher effort should receive some kudos for being somewhat original. Unfortunately, it's not original in any way that makes it especially effective or good. The movie does a good job of establishing a bucolic small-town setting (perhaps, it's not a coincidence that the director is the grown-up David Nelson of "Ozzie and Harriet" fame). There is also a lot more character development than usual, but regrettably the characters are still the usual annoying teen stereotypes. The murders are few and far between until the very end when the bodies start to stack up in a hurry. They're pretty low-tech (they obviously couldn't afford Tom Savini), but they try to make up for by being bizarre. The first victims are strangled simultaneously somehow while having sex on a motorcycle. Their bodies are thrown in a river where, as a running joke, they are seen floating down at various points throughout the movie. Another victim wanders away from the town carnival and is struck by an arrow, but instead of screaming for help or anything, she staggers over to an abandoned carousel and sits down so the killer can (somehow) finish her off with a plastic bag.

The actors are all ridiculously over-aged considering they're supposedly high school students, but this is actually a good thing considering the male protagonist is a "coach" who apparently both parties with and dates his students (which they tend to frown on in real high schools). The goody-good female protagonist is played Susan Lynn Kiger, who had an interesting career going from hardcore porn to "Playboy" to more legitimate acting. While it is nice to see a young woman in Hollywood have the opposite of the usual career trajectory, Kiger's talents unfortunately were probably better suited to her earlier career choices. Kiger stays dressed, but there is some gratuitous nudity, of course, including the girl on the motorcycle, a girl who showers with her bra on (which quickly becomes so transparent you wonder why she bothered), and a pretty blonde girl who goes for a full-frontal skinny-dip (which ALMOST keeps you from contemplating the absurdity of why anyone would go skinny-dipping in a RIVER).

I don't want to imply this movie is in anyway good, but it sure is weird.