Mitchell

Mitchell the cop is a slobby, beer guzzling, mass eating, uncharismatic cop who taunts children by stooping to their level, sleeps with his prostitute girlfriend (Linda Evans? Why?) and busts her when done (Community service, I guess?), and somehow, in God's mercy I suppose, nabs the bad guy at the end of the film. What a hero. What a guy.

Take all that, add a lame, one-dimensional bad guy and equally as weak supporting characters, a bland "been there too many times, even for the '70's" plot, and an unforgettable theme song "My, my, my, my Mitchell", and you have this movie. Joe Don Baker's cinematic opus.

Yet this film makes me laugh every time. Simply put: This movie is a hoot.

Then again, I could never watch this film without the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment. Even I don't have that much self-loathing. I could see why Joel would jump ship after this one. It's a completely ridiculous film, but it remains in my video library. Maybe it's the Johnny Mathis look-alike villain, maybe because it's the bane of all that is considered good taste. One of the few films that I can somehow manage to simultaneously almost kind of recommend, yet warn people to stay away from like the plague. That's the kind of movie "Mitchell" is. Check it out for yourself. Or not.

What a wonderful episode of MST3K. What a horrible, horrible movie. In the context of his later effort, "Final Justice," Joe Don Baker turned in the same wooden, devil-may-care-and-I-certainly-don't performance in the two movies. There is a difference, however. "Final Justice" did not feature the noticeably large Joe Don in bed with Linda Evans and a bottle of baby oil. Whoever thought Joe Don was a sex symbol needed to be hung from a particularly sensitive part of the anatomy.

It is disgusting to note that in the un-MSTed (and thus, unedited) version, we are treated to the sight of Joe Don on the phone with someone, I forget exactly whom, and Linda Evans' head in the vicinity of Joe Don's groin (the one redeeming characteristic is that whatever is going on is obscured by the bed). Needless to say, I have been traumatized for life.

In conclusion, do NOT watch this movie unless you have the cast of MST helping you out. If you do, prepare for deep hurting.

Unlike Hunter Felt, I don't think Baker, Balsam (an Oscar winner for "A Thousand Clowns"), Evans, and Saxon are a second-rate cast. But this movie was so bad it got thoroughly and hilariously skewered by "Mystery Science Theater 3000", which was the version I watched. (Example: "Hey, Alan Gibbs played the Mustang Hood!" "Yeah? Who played the headlights?") If you never saw a car fix itself in the middle of a chase scene, you might want to watch this late one night after getting really drunk.

Awful. Gloriously, fabulously awful. My-my-my-my goodness this was a piece of work... If the hideousness of this movie had been intentional, I doubt it would be so amazingly funny. I laughed so hard I almost passed out. What I wouldn't give for "Mitchell 2: the Geritol Years."

While this film is undeniably bad, one can't help but respect the filmmakers for trying something new. Movie cops are usually strong, resourceful, quick-thinking and quick-acting. They don't usually play by the rules, but they get the job done. They're usually played by attractive, young, popular actors that people like, and usually get the classiest ladies. Now, take a look at MITCHELL. MITCHELL stars Joe Don Baker as Mitchell, a cop who fits none of the above, "cookie-cutter" prerequisite stereotypes. Mitchell is fat. Mitchell is sloppy. He's an alcoholic. His apartment is filthy and littered with porn. The only woman he can get is a prostitute, and he treats her like a lowly dog. Mitchell is stupid. He's incompetant. The only way he gets any crimes solved is purely by accident, and because the villains in the movie overestimate him. Joe Don Baker is not a hot young actor. He's not popular and he's not good looking. So, kudos to the filmmakers! Way to break down barriers.