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Thieves Like Us (1974)

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Thieves Like Us

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  • T-Dub: Yeah, I made my mistake when I was a kid. But kids don't see things. I should've been a doctor or a lawyer or run for office. I shoulda robbed people with my brain instead of a gun.
  • Dee Mobley: You think life's free, don't you, Elmo? I ain't never had my name in the papers like you fellas.
  • Chicamaw: I can tell he sells marijuana just by how he drives.
  • Bowie: I come from the Ozarks. All we grow there is rocks and tomatoes.
  • Bowie: Miss Keechie, do you know what the Mississippi state animal is?
  • Keechie: What?
  • Bowie: You know, the state animal.
  • Keechie: I don't know. A deer, maybe?
  • Bowie: No, sir! It's a squashed dog in the road!
  • Keechie: I think it'll be a boy.
  • Lady in Train Station: Can you tell?
  • Keechie: Well I hope it is. But if it is, he sure will not be named after his dad, God rest his soul. He crossed me up once too often, lying. He didn't deserve to have no baby named after him.
  • [repeated line]
  • Radio Announcer: Thus did Romeo and Juliet consummate their first interview by falling madly in love with each other.
  • Bowie: I'll give you the straight of it, Keechie. I ain't sorry. I ain't sorry for anything I ever did in this world. Only regret I got is that I didn't get 100,000 instead of 19. And that I never pitched pro ball.
  • T-Dub: Boys, when I sack this one up, it'll be my 37th.
  • Bowie: You just lay there and rest. I'll be back here lickety-split.
  • Chicamaw: I'll bet the colonel's bowels are in an uproar by now. I can just hear him saying, "Get out and slap that bunch of no-goods. That's what you get for treating them like white men."
  • Bowie: I sure wish them boys would get back here. I'm gonna go dingbatty waiting.
  • Keechie: Here's you some Picayunes. We're all out of Twenty Grands.
  • T-Dub: Damn it. I haven't had a Twenty Grand in two years. I don't want a Picayune.
  • Chicamaw: You smoke anything and you know it.
  • T-Dub: [reading aloud about their escape in the newspaper] "When asked why the three trustees were able to escape, the warden, Everett Gaylord, replied, 'If you can't trust a trustee, who can you trust?'"
  • Bowie: I think you got old T-Dub going, Lula.
  • Lula: Hey, it don't take much. He's like an octopus. Eight hands going all at once, slimy and grimy.
  • Chicamaw: Boy, am I drunk. I don't mind telling you. You know, there's only three things in the whole world that I really love to do, and that's love and drink - and rob banks!
  • [laughs]
  • Chicamaw: But seeing as how there ain't enough women to go around here, I'm drinking!
  • T-Dub: My cuticles feel fine. Now, listen, Lula. When Mattie goes to sleep tonight, I want you to come to my room, you understand?
  • Lula: What for?
  • T-Dub: Well, I'd like - I'd like you to - I like girls to do things to me.
  • Lula: Well, I'm trying to give you a manicure.
  • T-Dub: Listen to me.
  • Lula: You'd like that if you just...
  • T-Dub: No. Listen to me. I want you to rub me all over. You know what I mean?
  • [Lula shakes her head no]
  • Chicamaw: Hey, you gotta come down to Hermanville with me. Don't you wanna do that? See that little cousin of mine. Maybe get yourself some Keechie-Keechie-koo.
  • [laughs]
  • Chicamaw: Keechie-Keechie-koo!
  • [laughs]
  • Chicamaw: Keechie-Keechie-koo!
  • [laughs]
  • Chicamaw: Oh, I'll bet that's how that little chipper wakes herself up in the morning. Keechie-Keechie-koo.
  • T-Dub: Gotta find me a doctor who's a thief like us who could saw off these fingerprints and fix that foot. Then I'd rear up in New Jersey on that little farm at North Branch. Just let the mistletoe hang off my coattail for the rest of the world.
  • Bowie: Keechie-Keechie-koo.
  • Keechie: Bowie-Bowie-boo.
  • Bowie: Keechie? You awake? You feel tired?
  • Keechie: I don't know. Are you?
  • Bowie: I don't know, either. Everybody always said you were supposed to be tired.
  • Keechie: Well, we took a nap.
  • Bowie: I don't feel tired.
  • Keechie: Neither do I.
  • Bowie: You wanna do it again?
  • Keechie: You suppose we should?
  • Bowie: You're not tired, are you?
  • Keechie: No, but you're not supposed to do it too often.
  • Bowie: I never heard about that. That part's okay. You sure you're not tired?
  • Keechie: No, Bowie, I'm not tired.
  • Bowie: Positive? I'm tired, Keechie.
  • Keechie: Oh, you dirty...
  • Bowie: You're a little soldier, Keechie. You're a little solider from your toenails right up to your hair. But you can't be getting mixed up with me.
  • Keechie: I already am mixed up with you.
  • Radio Announcer: A meeting of the Norge Kitchen Committee transcribed for American housewives from coast to coast presents an all-star program with - Julius Anderson and Frank Drummett as our special shining lights for today, together with our regular supporting stars, the Norge rolling refrigerator, Norge concentrated range, Norge auto-built washer, Norge neutral ironer, Norge fine air furnace, and a host of other home-modernizing appliances. And here is your hostess and homemaking expert, the queen of the Norge kitchen, Miss Mary Moderne.
  • Bowie: Chicamaw was telling me about that lawyer friend of his in Mexico. Hawkins. He didn't believe much in that heaven or hell stuff. Said the only way a man lived on was through his children.
  • Keechie: Is that why you'd like to have children?
  • Bowie: I never said nothing about having children.
  • Keechie: [taking a bath] Stop peeking!
  • Bowie: No. I won't quit peeking. I'll peek all I want to. - - Hairy little thing, aren't you?
  • Keechie: You think I should shave?
  • Bowie: No. I like it. Don't you ever shave.
  • Keechie: Are you gonna wash your feet tonight?
  • Bowie: Not tonight, honey. I washed them last night.
  • T-Dub: Gentlemen, that settles it. It'll be my 30th bank.
  • T-Dub: Well, gentlemen, this'll be my 33rd bank.
  • T-Dub: This is gonna be my 36th bank!

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