Confessions of a Window Cleaner

From first fumblings to almost wedded bliss, Confessions of a Window Cleaner follows the sexual exploits of lovable, accident prone youth Timmy Lea (Robin Askwith), who finds there's much more to window cleaning than just being a dab hand with a squeegee.

During the movie's opening credits, a frustrated, virginal Timmy is seen spying on a naked woman in her flat, and on schoolgirls taking a shower (behaviour that would probably secure him a place on the sex offenders register these days). However, it's not long before the cheeky chappie gets some actual hands on experience with the opposite sex (courtesy of a stripper and a randy housewife), and then there's no stopping the bloke: anything in a skirt seems to find him sexually irresistible and, being a considerate fellow, he's only too keen to oblige.

Although frequent casual sex with busty nymphomaniacs is undoubtedly fun, Timmy actually yearns for the one woman who doesn't drop her knickers the instant she claps eyes on him: pretty policewoman Elizabeth Radlett (the lovely Linda Hayden). After doing almost everything to loosen Liz's knicker elastic, our denim-clad hero tries the only trick left in the book: he proposes marriage!

With most of its humour derived from moments of dubious morality—a large percentage of the film's comedy revolves around infidelity and promiscuity—Confessions of a Window Cleaner is not one for the 'politically correct brigade'; on the other hand, those who enjoy bawdy comedy littered with softcore sex and innuendo should love this film to bits. There are loads of good looking dolly birds all too willing to flash the goods, some genuinely witty lines of dialogue ("I won't say 'au revoir', 'cos i'll see you again later", says Shiela White as Rosie Nogget), and plenty of faces that should be familiar to fans of British TV: it's all so very silly and so very 70s that it's hard not to enjoy.

Right heres the plot... Young Timmy Lea starts as a window cleaner in the little company of his brother in law Sid. Soon, he learns that some female customers expect additional service. Young and curious as he is, he reluctantly accepts the juicy duty. However his heart belongs to Liz, who demands the highest commitment until she lets him go all the way. I absolutely love this movie. It is a great example of 70s comedy at it's best. Its up there with on the Buses and Carry on. It was the first Confessions film I saw and as soon as I did I had to see the others. I must admit I like them all even though this is my favourite. Yeah, it is x rated, but it really is harmless fun and is great to watch if you feel like a giggle. Robin Askwith is great and really fits into his role as a real jack the lad. I give this film a 10 out of 10 and would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of 70' nostalgia.

The case against this movie hardly needs to be restated. Clunking, crass, monotonously unfunny, it's the sort of film that gives sexism a bad name.

And yet, for those who grew up in England in the early 70s, Confessions of A Window Cleaner is horribly evocative. The endless shots of tacky, dismal streets; the unwelcoming, tawdry interiors; the overwhelming sense of an exhausted gene pool; yep, that's what it was like. The film has some of the impact (though none of the accomplishment) of the photographs of Tony Ray-Jones, and promotes a similar melancholy.

Then there's Robin Askwith, who despite the various old troupers is the best thing in the movie. Granted, he wasn't everyone's idea of a sex god, and here he's at the mercy of a dire screenplay, but he gives it everything he's got. Looking and acting younger than his years, and with a cocky animality that no amount of boxy denim can mask, he sums up one particular breed of 70s boy, spunky, clueless, candid, vital, uncrushable. He looks great in his nude scenes, taut and doggy - there are moments of real beauty which belong in a better film. His sheer physical presence makes this awful picture almost worth watching.

Most Brits will tell you that the "Confessions of" series of the 1970's sex comedies was not nearly as good as the more famous "Carry on" series, but if you're non-British and are more interested in sex and nudity than British humor (which might be an oxymoron) and seeing a lot of middle-aged Ealing Street comedians who you probably won't recognize anyway, the "Confessions of" series is the way to go. The main star here is Robin Askwith who was a dead ringer for Mick Jagger, and who probably logged more on-screen nudity than any male actor in the history of cinema. Here Askwith plays a young man, "Timmy Lea" (his character unfortunately has his own theme song), who lives with his larcenous father, his oblivious mother, his very pregnant older sister, and his philandering brother-in-law. He goes to work for the brother-in-law as a window cleaner, and. . .well, that's basically the plot.

I once worked briefly as a window cleaner, and although I don't really look too much like Mick Jagger, the experience was NOTHING like this. Apparently, a lot of beautiful women in England just wait around all day for the window cleaner to show up, so they can exhibit themselves to him and/or take him to bed. (Of course, it's also possible this movie isn't entirely realistic--hmmmm). Whatever the case, this makes for plenty of opportunity to see a number of naked "dolly birds" including, most notably, Linda Hayden and Katya Wyeth, both of whom appeared in Hammer films and other British movies much better than this one. But be warned also--all of these women put together don't spend as much screen time naked as Askwith himself does.

What I liked about this movie especially though was the end. American sex comedies always have the male protagonist acting irresponsibly promiscuous throughout most of the movie, but then falling in love with the girl of his dreams at the end (this might be called "eating your cake and having it to"). This movie does have a "dream girl" in the form of Linda Hayden (OK, she's more of a "wet dream girl"), but it takes a different turn at the end, which some would call cynical, but I personally found pretty realistic, and sweet as opposed to saccharine. The movie is also genuinely funny in places, not so much in the silly sex scenes, but in the scenes at home with the protagonist's oddball family.

You're probably unlikely to find this movie outside of the UK or Ireland, but it does have some appeal even for non-Brits like myself.

Despite it's low ratings, this film sums up the humour and sex comedy films that appeared during the 70's. I enjoy the quick fire one liners from Tony Booth who plays the brother in law to Robin Askwiths main character, Timmy. This was the start of a run of the confession films, all had good plots if only somewhat "cheesey". I enjoy these films as it is an indication of the 70's era. Not to be taken seriously, it's just a good laughable movie, with harmless soft (very soft) nudity. Give it a go!