Wonder Women

This spy satire, in which a nasty female "Dr. No" (Nancy Kwan) trains a number of women assassins to go out and win the world for her, is rather inane entertainment. However, having seen dozens like it, with better heroes than Ross Hagen, there are so many vivid scenes in my mind that it must be better than most! Cinematography and direction were certainly above medium, and Marilyn Joi and Maria de Aragon are wonderful bad girls.

I stumbled upon the 1973 movie "Wonder Women" by random chance here in 2024. Even with it being a movie that is two years older than me, then I didn't hesitate to sit down and watch the movie. I had never heard about it, nor did I know about it existing, so I had no idea what I was in for here.

In that sense, then writers Lou Whitehill and Robert Vincent O'Neil, with the latter also directing the movie, had every opportunity to entertain me with their 1973 movie. I had zero expectations to the movie when I sat down to watch it.

The movie started out with a hilarious death scene of a security guard, where the actor just over-did the dying. It had me laughing so hard. And with that we were off to a glorious early 1970s foray of crime action.

The script was adequate, though a bit on the cheesy and campy side. I suppose it was that particular 1970s flavor to the movie. That being said, I am not saying that "Wonder Women" is a bad movie, because it definitely was a watchable movie, and entertaining enough for what it turned out to be. Though you must have a certain degree of interest in movies of this particular genre and era to fully enjoy the movie from director Robert Vincent O'Neil.

I was surprised to find the likes of Ross Hagen and Sid Haig on the cast list. They were, in fact, the only two performers that I were familiar with on the cast list. The acting performances in the movie were good, taking everything into consideration.

All in all, a fair enough movie that proved entertaining for a single viewing.

My rating of "Wonder Women" lands on a five out of ten stars.

After the mysterious disappearance of one of the biggest names in Jai alai (a variation of the sport pelota), insurance investigator Mike Harber (Ross Hagen) is hired to try and find the missing sportsman. Mike's search leads him to the heavily guarded island fortress of Dr. Tsu (Nancy Kwan), where the unscrupulous surgeon has been harvesting the bodies of athletes abducted by her all-female army and using their limbs and organs in illegal transplant operations for the super-rich.

Opening with a scene in which several topless female swimmers are abducted by Dr. Tsu's sexy hench-women, this early 70s USA/Philippines production starts as it means to go on by being unashamedly exploitative trash. As his film unfolds, director Robert Vincent O'Neill (who also gave us the equally exploitative Angel and Avenging Angel) piles on the outlandishness, delivering a prolonged chase scene through the streets of Manila (which involves some particularly perilous looking stunts), some really bad fight scenes (his actresses clearly total strangers to the martial arts), lots of leggy babes in revealing outfits, and a very silly finale that sees a bunch of Dr. Tsu's failed experiments running amok on the island (the daft creatures including a half man/half ape and a guy who sports a glass cranium with an orange beacon inside). All of this is accompanied by a cool funky '70s soundtrack.

The movie's kitschy style also adds immensely to the fun factor: there are go-go boots and hot-pants aplenty, Dr. Tsu's operating theatre boasts cutting-edge psychedelic coloured lighting and swirly hypno-discs (while her PVC operating gown is the height of '70s surgical fashion), and Mike samples the delights of 'brain sex' via a silly high-tech headband covered with diodes.

Add supporting roles for cult favourites Vic Dias and Sid Haig, and what you have is a delightfully daft piece of nonsense—not great film-making by any stretch of the imagination—but highly entertaining nonetheless.

A multi-racial gang of ladies with skimpy clothes, big hair and bigger guns is running amok in Manila - kidnapping athletes and skinny-dippers left, right and centre. When they nick a Jai Alai player, hero Mike Harber (Hagen) is called in. Hooked up with a sidekick jeepney driver (denim-clad Vic Diaz), Harber winds up on the island lair of transplant artiste Dr Tsu (Nancy Kwan). "Her genius and her talent transcends the question of human morality," says her debonair sales manager (Sid Haig) and Tsu's brain transplant techniques and stock of body parts are the key to longevity. With a labload of flashing, bipping and swirling things, brain sex, a high-speed downtown jeepney chase and an army of Filipino warrior gals enthusiastically belting the crap out of people, Wonder Women is a load of fun. And that's before Dr Tsu's mutant test subjects escape their cells! The ending - Harber, a blonde and another all-female hit squad - is a reminder that Ross Hagen was the producer of this manic actioner.

Dr. Tsu (Nancy Kwan) has set up a secret research facility on an island where she has mastered various transplant techniques. She boasts she can transplant any part of the body - yes, that's right, ANY part. For a hefty sum of money, she offers the wealthy a chance for immortality by placing their brains into the body of a young, virile athlete. Her island fortress is guarded by an army of beautiful, but deadly women who also work to procure the doctor her healthy subjects. Her latest acquisition, a local jai-alai player, unwittingly draws the interest of an insurance investigator from Lloyd's of London who had a policy on the young man. In turn, he hires former CIA agent Mike Harber (Ross Hagen) to investigate. Before you can say "Ross Hagen produced this thing so you know he's going to come out looking good in the end", Harber is taken prisoner by Dr. Tsu and given the long, overly drawn out explanation of her work and her plans. In the end, Harber's powers of seduction have been enough to turn one of the women against Dr. Tsu and he escapes with the jai-alai player. The end.

What a wild piece of 70s trash! While not good in any traditional sense, that's never stopped me from enjoying a movie. There are, however, three things you ought to know before watching The Deadly and the Beautiful (or Wonder Women as it's sometimes known): it's a cheaply made Filipino film, it's got a gaggle of scantily clad beauties, and it was produced by and stars Ross Hagen. The cheap/Filipino thing doesn't really bother me. It's probably part of what makes the movie so unique. And you've just got to love the 70s porn-inspired soundtrack. Too funny. The gaggle of scantily clad beauties - I'm not going to complain about that either. Though I must admit I did laugh out loud watching the army of women with every weapon imaginable set out into the jungle wearing what amounted to the most inappropriately imaginable short chiffon mini-nightgowns. I don't think nighties are standard issue for any other army in the world. And their style of hand-to-hand combat must be seen to be believed. I've heard of all sorts of styles or martial arts fighting, but nothing quite describes the gyrations performed by Roberta Collins. Finally, I'm left with Ross Hagen. The man just has a way of turning my stomach. He reminds me a bit of a B-movie version of Chad Everett with none of the acting ability. He spends the entire movie either looking half-asleep and disinterested or ogling the women he's supposed to be fighting. There is one brief scene with Hagen that's an absolute scream. He's following the Dr. Tsu down a staircase in what can only be described as full-on flounce mode. You know, ridiculous expression on his face, arms bent at the elbow and wrist, and legs doing sort of a trot - looks a bit like he's auditioning for a part in the Village People. Too funny. And then there's the scene where Ross gets to do something called "brain sex" with Nancy Kwan. Just about lost my lunch watching Ross' faux-orgasmic squirm on that vinyl seat. Yuck!

Oh yes, as for the movie - it is what it is - a cheap piece of 70s exploitation junk that's worth a watch if you're into that sort of thing. For me, I had a great time with it. It was also cool to see Sid Haig in a different sort of role (I just realized that I have no idea what happened to his character). For all the wrong reasons, I'll give The Deadly and the Beautiful a 7/10.