Roller Disco

Skatetown, U. S. A. Is a nostalgic trip to the glittering world of 1970s roller discos, where style overshadows substance. The film follows a dreamer drawn into Skatetown's vibrant skate scene, including a gang led by the charismatic Ace (a young Patrick Swayze). While Swayze and the era's disco-inspired visuals add charm, the plot is predictable, characters are underdeveloped, and dialogue feels cheesy. Early appearances by future stars like Scott Baio provide intrigue, but the film lacks depth. Best enjoyed as a campy, retro time capsule, it earns 4/10 for its kitschy appeal and historical value.

Alright, Star Wars was the movie for every other 7-year old at the time, as it was for me. But seeing this film after more than twenty years instantly invaded my senses. I smelled the popcorn, felt the heat of summer, and the heard handful of change my friends and I would use to get into the double features playing at a theater that has long since been bulldozed for a mega Gap store. It has all of the elements of a perfect summer movie. Action, romance, Maureen McCormick in tight shorts, Billy Barty in a characteristic though cliché tuxedo, and music. Plus, it gave us Patrick Swayze in his first screen role.

Now the plot is as formulaic as they come. Basically a dumbed down Romeo and Juliet on roller skates with bad disco on the Jersey Pier. Greg Bradford, who did nothing before or after this movie, is a young and studley out of towner whose sister, Maureen McCormick, takes him to the local skate, disco, super-rally-roller-rink where he acts like an a pathetically nieve boy next door type; but with blonde hair and biceps. No surprises when he falls instantly in love with the pettiest, most aloof girl in the joint. This ballerina on rubber wheels just happens to be the kid sister of Ace Johnson. Aka Patrick Swayze. ACE, isn't that a great name for the leader of a tough talking, fast moving, skate gang.? So, no surprises, Ace isn't thrilled with his kid sister and the new guy. There's a lot of empty threats from the Ace and members of the tough talking skater boys and notable appearances by Scott Baio who, as a friend of Maureen McCormick, tries to defuse the situation.

Of course he can't keep things from degrading, which they do, first into a "skate off" which might as well have been filmed on ice for how choreographed as feminine it was. And then it degrades further into a skate death match. Now this is where the movie is really trying hard to be as formula as possible without looking like they are trying to be formula. Now in a regular testosterone-machismo film, this is where the two can't back down let alone think teenagers would match up in a car race towards a cliff before they ditch at the last second and send their muscle cars over a cliff making us all cry. There are no cliffs in Jersey and this is a roller skate movie. The testosterone is tainted with estrogen, the pants are too tight, the skates are laced even tighter, and they race each other down a pier towards the Atlantic ocean on rocket powered skates. I kid you not.

I don't want to give away anything else, but I will say that the most challenging thing about this film is obtaining a copy. They never produced in on VHS. It hasn't been shown in years and years in a theater. Never shown on TV to my knowledge. And no plans for a DVD release that I have heard of. I just happen to have a bootleg copy that I had to sell my soul for. Cheers

This is the very definition of a guilty pleasure film.

Teenage blondes in hot pants and mini skirts, Scott Baio, Marcia Brady, stoners, food fights, midgets, cross dressers, and "Introducing Patrick Swayze" it all takes place within one night within the wall of Skatetown USA!

The plot: Yes, there actually is a plot. True to the Greek unity of time and place the entire film is set in one night inside a roller disco which appears to be the space ship from 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' only BRIGHTER!

The night starts with Scott Baio placing huge bets that his rookie friend Stan can sweep the roller disco competition. But there are troubles in techno paradise as Patrick Swayze and his Ron Jeremy look alike gang arrive on scene and black mail Flip Wilson (no puns intended) Skatetown USA's owner into rigging the contest.

Swayze's performance boldly says that no closet can hold him. But Stan's puts John Travolta performance in 'Staying Alive' to shame.

All in all this is a fun film that never takes itself to seriously. There's some good music which is difficult for the 70s and some really impressive dance scenes. There's also plenty of PG T&A.

I found this movie on DVD at missed movies dot com, but it was clearly dubbed off a mid-grade VHS copy, so expect it to play like an episode of Chips your uncle recorded on his brand-new $800 VCR, back in 1981. If I were Patrick Swayze, I would've bought the rights to this movie years ago and buried it. One must be impressed with his skate/dancing prowess though. His "gang" looked like they could get beat up by the gang in the Michael Jackson Beat It video.

It's basically a long, disco rollerskating music video, with a few jokes from Flip Wilson and the Unknown comic thrown in the mix.

Besides seeing Horseshack and Marsha Brady, one of the pizza guys at the snack bar was the therapist in There's Something About Mary, although I can't seem to find his credit in either film.

Skatetown USA along with Roller Boogie is a celebration of that brief time that roller disco was ruling the youth culture. Unless you like the music scene, rollerskating, or want to see this variety of current and former performers from television stroll on the screen and do their bit one better avoid the film.

But the music and the choreographed skating numbers are the thing here and the plot such as it is just gets in the way. Scott Baio from The Valley is manager of skating brother and sister Greg Bradford and Maureen McCormick and he's brought them to that Mecca of roller disco palaces Skatetown USA to take on the champ Patrick Swayze who has a large and menacing posse. In fact Swayze will do just about anything to win so Baio has to be on his toes.

Flip Wilson owns Skatetown USA along with Billy Barty and Flip has some scenes as his drag character Geraldine. A whole lot of other familiar TV faces make an appearance and hopefully their paychecks cleared the bank.

Greg Bradford was and remains the ultimate surfer boy. He and Swayze are both talented dancers and the competition is fierce. This was Swayze's film debut. His acting chops were displayed later in his career.

Unless you are nostalgic for the era, Skatetown USA is not your film.