- John Milner: Hey, look, I want you to keep this, take that with you
- [Hands Toad a twisted bolt]
- John Milner: That's from when my flywheel broke remember?
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: That's great, man, that's really great. Hey, you know what I'm going to do for you? I'm going to capture you a VC flag.
- John Milner: Naw, don't do that man, just come back alive.
- Mr. Hunt: Give me your signature, champ.
- John Milner: [thinks it over for a moment] Well, I'll tell you what. I'm not gonna sign it, but why don't you light it on fire and stick it up your ass?
- Lance: Aw, come on, man, you got nothing better to do than hassle long-hairs?
- Officer Bob Falfa: That's my life, friend. I love my work.
- John Milner: Hey! It's the little twerp!
- Carol: Don't little twerp me, John, I've grown.
- John Milner: [nods] A little bit.
- Major Creech: [referring to the Toad] Son of a bitch.
- Congressman: Who, what did you say, mayor?
- Major Creech: I said it's sort of a beach.
- [shouting]
- Major Creech: We levelled it!
- Steve Bolander: [being frisked by a police officer] I want you to know you're facing false arrest charges.
- Steve Bolander: [turns to face the cop] What's your badge number?
- Cop #2: Turn around!
- Steve Bolander: I got it! I saw it, you're gonna hear from my attorney.
- Laurie Bolander: Andy, Andy, you don't think we'd be in Vietnam unless the President knew a few things we don't know, huh?
- Andy Henderson: Not so loud, you're embarrassing me.
- Little Joe Young: Hey Toad, I've been thinking. I'm taking care of you, right?
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Yeah.
- Little Joe Young: Now when we get back home, I'm gonna make you an honorary, full fledged member of the Pharaoh's, no blood handshakes, nothing like that.
- Little Joe Young: [Toad claps his hands] Then me and you and them, we're gonna open up a... a used car lot. You sell 'em, we steal 'em.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Got my orders.
- John Milner: Yeah?
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Leavin' tonight.
- John Milner: Where to?
- Debbie Dunham: Vietnam.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: That's right. Uncle Sam says: I need the Toad. Only way we're gonna win this one: get the Toad in there.
- John Milner: You're gonna kick some ass, huh?
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Kick ass, take names, and eat Kong for breakfast.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Sir, I don't want to disappoint you, sir, but you've got yourself in with couple of cowards here. We like things safe and easy, understand?
- Rob: I got something in here that's gonna make you bigger than the topless grandmother of six. Think of that.
- [opens suitcase]
- Debbie Dunham: Jesus Christ that's a snake!
- Army Sergeant: Now you git to it or I'll be talking to the major. This is his personal, favorite shithouse, you understand?
- Laurie Bolander: Maybe I could straighten up this place for you.
- Andy Henderson: No thanks, I like this place just the way it is.
- Laurie Bolander: You like living in squalor?
- Sinclair: I don't think this radio works.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Typical! Nothing works here.
- [Terry slams his fist on the radio and it begins working]
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Finally! American know-how!
- Major Creech: [over the radio] Bulldog, this is Escort One. Are you under fire? Over.
- Sinclair: [into the radio] That's affirmative. We're receiving enemy sniper fire from the other side of the river. Requesting immediate pick up. You gotta get us out of here quick!
- [the pilot sitting next to Major Creech in the hovering helicopter points out the crash site]
- Major Creech: [into the radio] We see you, Bulldog. I see the crash site. I'll order artillery into your area.
- Sinclair: [quietly putting down the radio] Oh, come on!
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: [grabs the radio] Major, we haven't got time for that. You gotta get us out of here now before more of the enemy gets here!
- Major Creech: [into the radio] Negative. We can't risk loosing another chopper today. Bulldog, I'll give your position to Firebase Echo for close artillery support. Then I will order a fleet of gunships to drop rocket fire into that treeline on the other side of the river. When the area is secure and the enemy fire is fully suppressed, we will come down to pick you up.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: [into the radio] You know what I think, Major? I don't think you have the guts to come down here you asshole!
- Major Creech: [into the radio] Can it, Fields! You're talking your way into a court martial! Now drop some smoke! Mark your position you little shit! Out!
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: [throws the radio away] Oh boy, what I would give to open up my rifle on that guy!
- Sinclair: I think you're right. He is a coward. He really is afraid to come down here and get us.
- Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Very good! Now you're finally catching on. The brass is trying to get us all killed in this war for nothing!
- Rainbow: I happen to think working as a topless dancer is creepy.
- Debbie Dunham: Well maybe that's your hangup, if you think the human body is creepy.
- Rob: Debbie, you wanna stay away form weed. You know it's gonna lead you into cigarettes.