Gold of the Amazon Women

After a couple unusually random events occurring in New York city. This leads two explorers to head out on an adventure for the Golden Cities of El Dorado in the South American jungle. On their journey a villainous rival and his two henchwomen want to get to the gold first, so they try at every opportunity to get rid of their opponents. But what actually stops them in their tracks is their encounter with the women warriors of the Amazon.

Should I expect much? Of course. Expect to be blown away… maybe if you're drunk! Eh, It doesn't come any bad and tatty than this low-end, late night TV feature. But hell, it made for one entertaining viewing, because of how silly, convoluted and peculiar the project turned out to be. One scene involving a rubber snake takes the cake. It's that obvious that I thought it would lead to a gag, but Bo Svenson's character goes ahead like it's one of the world's most deadly snakes (Um, I think the script actually quotes that!) and takes care of the problem with such ease. That goofy moment had me in stitches. Everything about this is plain ridiculous and phony, but it's all unintentional kitsch. This is no comedy, but the seriously light-hearted material delivers a fine quota of mindless mayhem and a few snappy one-liners. Don't go out of your way to make any sense of it because the aimlessly erratic premise and hokey script doesn't deserve the effort. Take it for what it is and make fun of it. The performances are certainly neurotic. A very cynical and husky Bo Svenson is simply slumming about as Tom, but Donald Pleasance's enthusiastically hammy performance really does get into his greedy villain Clarence with such gleefulness. The way he appears from nowhere and without little reasoning is quite baffling, though those spontaneous actions indeed packed the film's energy. Anita Ekberg is stone-like in attitude as Queen Na-Eela of the Amazons and Richard Romanus plays it twitchy as Svenson's explorer buddy Luis. Bob Minor appears in something fairly minor and there are many frisky bikini leather clad women… but remember this is made for a TV feature. This means its quite tame on all aspects; skin and violence. Mark L. Lester's direction (who at first I didn't even know he held the helm) is rather off-colour and staged with little purpose. He would go on to much better efforts through the glorious 80's. He keeps it moving, but it can labour when it stops to admire the scenery. The score is the tacky product of the TV industry… more dourly repetitive elevator music with its volume turned up and the handling of camera-work is rather stale.

"Gold of the Amazon Women" is a hunk of inept fluff, but the junky presentation provides some enjoyable schlock along the way.

The excellent reference book "DVD Delirium" suggests hard liquor before an attempt to watch the 1979 TV movie "Gold of the Amazon Women," but somehow, I made it through without. In this amusing cheese(cake) fest, Swedish actor Bo Svenson--38 here and in mid-career--searches the Amazon basin with his thrill-seeking sidekick for the legendary Seven Cities of Gold. They are ultimately captured by a group of white-skinned Amazons, led by the Swedish actress Anita Ekberg--48 here and at the end of her career. The picture actually feels like two separate films, with a fairly serious first half dealing with jungle exploration and some murder attempts on our heroes perpetrated by drug dealer Donald Pleasence (has any modern-day actor appeared in more dubious projects?), but once the girls appear, the film becomes mere male-fantasy camp, with men in cages being forced to sexually please some truly dynamite-looking women. And these guys want to escape?!?! It must be said that Ekberg looks fairly blowsy and out of shape here, unlike her lithe and athletic-looking underlings; she's a looooong way from her Miss Sweden 1951 win, not to mention here "La Dolce Vita" (1960) breakthrough. The film itself also features a helicopter attack, poison ants and snakes, crocodiles, a battle between the Amazons and blowgun-wielding natives, fistfights, smack-addicted Amazons, and the discovery of the Lost City. My advice is to put your brain on hold and enjoy this lighthearted, cheesy fun for what it is. Alright, maybe drink a few beers first...

Wannabe explorer Luis Escobar (Richard Romanus) joins adventurer Tom Jensen (Bo Svenson) on a trip to South America in search of the fabled seven cities of El Dorado, a journey that leads to encounters with a tribe of Amazonian women and savage headhunters. Also searching for the legendary golden cities is wicked drug baron Clarence Blasko (Donald Pleasance), who will do anything to claim his prize.

If this film had been made by Umberto Lenzi, Jess Franco or Sergio Martino, it would have been chock full of the nudity and violence that guaranteed such films notoriety during the video era. Unfortunately, this isn't a trashy Euro flick, but rather a cheesy US made-for-TV movie, and as such only offers tepid thrills for fans of the jungle adventure genre. Director Mark L. Lester is capable of turning out an entertaining film when given the chance (Class of 1984, Commando and Showdown in Little Tokyo), but constrained by the limitations of a TV budget and broadcasting regulations, he is unable to deliver the goods, his film a lacklustre romp that wastes a fairly decent cast, which also includes Anita Ekberg (Fellini's La Dolce Vita) as Amazonian queen Na-Eela.

Silliest moments include a rubber snake leaping out of Tom's suitcase, a supposedly funny scene in which a chief offers his fat wife to the adventurer, and Tom and Luis being kept in man-cage and forced to have sex with the Amazonians in true 'Carry On Up The Jungle' style.

The filmmakers obviously didn't take this too seriously, and you shouldn't either. Heck, it's a TV movie from 1979 that opens with Amazon archers running around in New York City. It's got action, humor, a few surprises, and a great acting moment from Donald Pleasence when he finally discovers the first of the fabled cities. Bo Svenson anticipates Nick Nolte with his grizzled explorer character who's really a good guy underneath his gruff exterior. The leather-bikini Amazons are cute, although most of them are quite skinny (I imagine the casting director had a thing for skinny ladies). The whole production is quick-paced and good-natured. Pop a beer and enjoy.

Its too bad this script relies on bo svenson to carry the day and donald pleasance is his usual goofy self...naked amazon women please to save us all from dead brain disease...it took me 5 hours watching time with pauses to get to the meat...and then there was none...click, its gone done and over