Supertrain

Just imagine Love Boat but instead of a ship it's on a train then add some drama and excitement to spice things. Now imagine how bad that would be. This is actually worse.

Correction: George Boone was originally played by Harrison Page, but following a timeline breach somewhere around Episode 2, all characters were retroactively replaced by Ernest Borgnine - including the women, the children, and the train itself.

By the season finale, everyone on Supertrain was Ernest Borgnine. It wasn't explained. It wasn't acknowledged. It just was.

The Borgnine Convergence

In the future, individuality collapses into a unified Borgnine Field, where every citizen has: * The face of a grizzled Navy vet, * The soul of a man who's seen Poseidon Adventure too many times, * And the laugh of someone who definitely eats lunch at 10:45 AM.

It's not reincarnation. It's Borgnification.

"In the beginning, there was one Ernest.

In the end, there will only be Borgnine."

• Book of Ratings, Chapter 13, Supertrain Edition.

If you weren't watching TV back in 1978-1979, you can't know how much hype NBC subjected the public to over this inane piece of fluff. For months before it premiered, at 10 minute intervals during prime time, there were commercials about this supposedly innovative series. The money spent on "Supertrain" and it's advertising would have helped everyone under the poverty line in America to buy a house and a car and still have money left over, and would have been much better spent. It was truly a case of overkill, especially when the series premiered and it was such a glittering piece of trash from the first moment.

There wasn't an interesting story during the entire run, just lots of flash; Hollywood will never learn that if the story is good everything else will fall into place. Each episode was the same. Lots of boring people boarding the train, the train moving somewhere, lots of boring people leaving the train. This sounds like "Loveboat" on the rails, and it was. But at least most of the episodes on "Loveboat" had a plot.

Fred Silverman took so much heat for this garbage, and he deserved it. His face was everywhere at the time, and he was being touted as a pioneer - all Hollywood hype. Suffice to say, "Supertrain" was his "Heaven's Gate," and it quickly died. There's no chance anyone will ever see this series again; it's simply not interesting enough to rebroadcast, thank goodness.

Or that's what I'm guessing the pitch for this show was.

Back in the 70's, one of the biggest shows was in fact "The Love Boat" which was a series based on a movie by the same name. Every week a colorful cast of characters on a big cruise ship, nicknamed "The Love Boat" would have some adventures, people would fall in love, there'd be banter with the crew and everything would be wrapped up in an hour's time.

Then in 1976 there was a spoof of disaster movies called "The Big Bus". The story of a giant nuclear powered bus with amenities like a bowling alley, bar / lounge, swimming pool, captain's dining room and a way to not only wash but change the tires without stopping.

Combine the two and you have one of the biggest flops on network TV called "Supertrain". It's the Love Boat on tracks. But the makers of this show seem to have forgotten something, namely the plot. While the Love Boat was a cheese fest , there was still the semblance of a plot there. The characters had motivations and reasons to be there. Whereas on Supertrain, it was the train that was the actual star. Sure you got 70's mainstays like Lyle Waggoner and Steve Lawrence to do guest starring roles but they honestly felt tacked on more than anything else.

It was the most expensive TV show made, during that time at least, and this is what led to NBC losing a ton of cash and almost going bankrupt.

It's a bad show that really should stay dead and buried.

I remember this series from back in the day and have refreshed m memory on Youtube recently. I thought the show sucied back in the day and my refresher did nothing to change that opinion. My question then and now is this: Why was the series set on a futuristic high speed Atomic ultra-luxury train (which was super expensive to builde as sets and models) and then hardly ever reference that fact in any meaningful ways? I mean, except for the pilot episode, the rest of the stories could have taken place in a hotel, resort or even a "Love Boat." There was never any justification for this to be on a train of any kind! Why didn't they play up the sci-fi part of it? Why didn't the fact that the cast is hurtling along at tremendous speed ever enter into the stories? Sure, they mention this stuff, but it never really matters. Just boring stories that could be taking place anywhere. SO much money SO stupidly wasted on SUCH a boring show. Incredible.