Confesiones de quinceañeras

That pretty much describes the style of this tawdry, cheesy, grainy, amateurish sexploitation film. Aren't those old stag flicks better left forgotten?

Most people will be tuning in to see the zaftig Debra Winger romping around in the buff. That she certainly does.

There is a "comedy" interlude about a cat burglar. It stars Dr. Bernie Tupperman, the diminutive urologist from the first Bob Newhart show (aka Vinnie the poker player from "The Odd Couple"), and Officer Toody, reprising his role from "Car 54, Where Are You?". Hey, it's not funny, but at least they get to keep their clothes on.

With her parents gone for the weekend and nothing else to do, a high school student named "Sherry" (Cheryl Smith) invites five of her friends to her house for a slumber party. After frolicking in the swimming pool for a while, the young women go into the house and, while helping themselves to some free alcohol, decide to take turns sharing stories about their first time with a man. What follows are lurid scenes, each one exaggerated beyond belief. Now, rather than reveal any more, let me just say that although this film is billed as a comedy, it's really more of a sexploitation film because the humor isn't very sharp. However, it should also be noted that during this particular period, drive-ins were starving for just about anything they could get their hands on since mainstream theaters were acquiring all of the popular films. Thus, this type of movie was a staple for outdoor theaters at the time. Unfortunately, the quality of these films was often lacking, and this movie is no exception. There are, however, several attractive females featured, with Mary Appleseth (as "Jo Ann"), Bridgett Hollomon ("Bonnie May"), and Janet Wood ("Smitty") standing out the most, in my opinion. Even so, none of them were capable of transforming this rather dull and historically flawed film into something truly remarkable, and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

This movie is probably most famous for celebrity skin in the form of a young and topless Deborah Winger, but frankly that's the least interesting thing about it. This is another warped and completely irresponsible movie about slutty 70's teenage girls (including such luminaries of the "genre" as Janet Woods and Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith)except here they're playing (very unconvincingly, I might add) slutty '50's teenage girls. The plot, to use the term loosely, involves five girls at the eponymous slumber party sitting around reminiscing about their "first time". These vignettes are neither funny nor usually even remotely believable, so this movie doesn't really succeed either as a comedy or as a realistic coming-of-age film. It does, however, excel on a level of pure sexploitative trash.

To illustrate, in a scene that even made a 70's sleaze aficionado like myself cringe, one of our randy virgins "loses it" to a middle-aged family friend who catches her reading "Lolita" (great literary allusion that). But then her father catches them and rather than thrashing the guy within an inch of his life like any normal father he dismisses him and instead puts his naked daughter over his knee for a spanking (!) which she apparently enjoys (!!)prompting the other girls to talk about how they too kind of enjoy being spanked by their fathers (!!!). In the movie's defense the actresses are all obviously in their early twenties and not remotely believable as teenagers (or virgins), but STILL you have to wonder what kind of perverts this movie was originally aimed at.

Amazingly, for such a thoroughly disreputable movie, it has an incredible soundtrack of top 50's hits. Not since "The Last American Virgin" have I witnessed such a collision of bad cinematic taste and famous pop music. I don't know what it would say about ME to recommend this thing to anybody, but if this kind of irredeemable sleaze does it for you . . .

When the acting is this bad and the bodies this great and the plot this lame, you need someone to harass and murder off these babes one by one to give meaning to the theatrical movie experience.

The girls are gorgeous and oft times appear topless, bottomless, or naked and they do make fun of some of the sleazier aspects of 50's drive-in movies (and I like almost anything Chery/Rainbow smith is in--although she did not go nude in this one), but they did not capitalize as well as they could have on the foundation that was laid.

It seems like all things fifties, the best thing was the music.

This is really just a harmless and amusing 70's teen T&A flick that drive-ins were famous for back then. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and neither should you.

For example, for a movie supposedly set in 1957, nearly all the songs on the soundtrack were actually released between 1958 and 1964. Furthermore, the movie being shown at the drive-in, "Cauldron of Blood," didn't come out until 1967! But this movie isn't really about sophisticated things like "details" (LOL). It's about beautiful girls frolicking around, showing off their bodies, and boasting about their sexual conquests. The late Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith is stunning as always (though her character never gets as fully developed as the others). Debra Winger (in her first role) is also beautiful. And look for the late "Superchick-turned-astrologer" Joyce Jillson as a carhop! What's not to love?