Poliziotto senza paura

If you know good Italian Eurocrime flicks when you see one, you'll spot the flaws in this one faster than a Poliziotteschi car chase. Despite Maurizio Merli gunning down two goons before the opening credits roll, the stalwart Poliziotteschi leading man doesn't deliver in playing a non-nonsense tough-guy detective that ruthlessly pursues his foes. Instead, he fumbles his way through a chaotic dumpster fire of a script that lacks a coherent narrative or central focus, dangling a few vague plot points that float around like free radicals and then suddenly resurface just when you've nearly forgotten them. Merli shines at rocking a mid-70s mustache and getting the crap beat out of him multiple times, but is continuously denied the opportunity to actually kick ass. He runs away from fights into dead ends, hides with pride, never shoots back, smashes a few windows with convenient (if inexplicable) blunt instruments, and fails to take down the main villain himself. Instead, he's knocked unconscious, AGAIN, leaving the character that cold-cocked him to finish the job themselves. His character, Walter 'Wally' Spada, is bafflingly stupid, failing to see through the obvious and glaring Joan Collins double-cross or the fact that he's getting set up over and over. If this film had been remade in the '90s, it would've starred Roberto Benigni, who'd have fit the role perfectly-the only difference being that with Benigni, the comedy would've been intentional.

The first half hour is so fast paced and campy you can't look away. (Crazy cartoon dubbing) But then... after that it's kinda hard to find the plot.

Joan doesn't show up for a long time. But after she does the plots becomes more clear and I personally had to stay to find out what happens.

For the most part this is for dire hard Joan fans only.

Opening with a bongo drum-driven, slow-motion shootout, MAGNUM COP gets underway.

Private investigator, Wally Spada (Maurizio Merli) is on the case of a zillionaire's missing daughter. Dressed in Junior Samples' overalls, Spada brings his reddish, blondish hair helmet, and Burt Reynolds' mustache along for the ride. Slipping out of his Hee Haw tuxedo, and into Mr. Rogers' sweater, he's ready for action!

When thugs attack, it's karate time! Spada's overwhelming, perfectly-placed blows ignite, sounding like frozen turkeys being slapped against sacks of cement!

Next, it's off to the strip club to look for clues. Therein, Wally witnesses the lovely performer, Brigitte (Joan Collins), giving forth her glorious gift to humanity. Apparently, Wally needs her help.

Fans of Ms. Collins take note: Indeed, she doth disrobe delightfully!

Oh no!

More thugs attack, pounding Wally's melon with sounds not unlike those caused by 10-lb. Salamis hitting wet pavement! This all leads to an interminable foot chase, and a sinister turn in the plot.

Have no fear! Brigitte returns, and yes, her clothing dissolves like magic before our eyes! All followers of Ms. Collins simply must see this movie before taking their last breath!

Now, back to whatshisname, and whatever it was he was supposed to be doing.

If it weren't for the long stretches of dullness, this could have been a cheeeze classic. Next time, more karate! Less wally! More Brigitte!...

It was hard for me to adjust, but I finally managed to cope with the fact that Maurizio Merli is not playing a cop in the film. He's playing a private detective who used to be a cop. After some therapy, I was able to cope with this cataclysmic change and watch the film.

Merli doesn't seem to be that great a PI either. He's totally broke and lets his sidekick Vinnie (Massimo Vanni) deal with all the debts. When trying to mooch a meal in a restaurant, Merli gets a big break - someone in Austria is looking for their daughter and it's up to Merli to track her down. This opens up a whole can of worms that leads Merli to Vienna and a Massimo Dallamano giallo-style plot involving school girls.

Merli hooks up with Gastone Moschine in Vienna and gets caught up trying to solve a different case involving the suspicious death of a minor that leads him to hang around in a car outside of school asking a young girl if she'd like to go for a ride with him. He hasn't got sinister motives though, but icy-eyed Werner Pocath might have, and where does Joan Collins fit in with all this? Don't ask me - ask her boobs!

Look, i'll level with you. This isn't the greatest Stelvio Massi film, nor is it the best Maurzio Merli film (although he's a charmer as usual). It takes far too long for an actual plot to emerge from all the comedic bits at the start of the film (Vanni moaning about not getting paid, annoying the cops, pretending to Gastone that he's a rich James Bond type) and when it does the teenage-prostitute angle doesn't quite fit with the funny bits. About half and hour from the end things get more violent and one character is run down by a car in a scene that's shocking in its abruptness, but it's too little too late.

The Italians are genuine masters in deconstruction their own successful cult/exploitation cinema streams! As soon as the popularity or ticket sales were slightly diminishing, the writers and directors began throwing in aspects of other genres and bucket-loads of dumb humor; - slapstick even. It happened to the legendary Spaghetti Westerns at the end of the sixties, and it happened to the Poliziotesschi flicks a decade later. It's almost saddening to see how, in a span of barely 5-6 years, the films that were initially brutal, relentless and non-stop violent are slowly becoming light-headed parodies. "Poliziotto Senza Paura" still offers a reasonably well-balanced mix between action, thrills and chuckles, but the sub-genre would rapidly deteriorate further, notably with the "Delitto" franchise starring Tomas Milian. For most contemporary Italian actors and directors, the slow disappearance of the Poliziotesschi wasn't a big tragedy, as they sought out new and different horizons. For Maurizio Merli, however, the Poliziotesschi movies were literally all he had, so he kept playing his familiar roles, even if it meant acting like a clown or depicting supportive characters (like in "Convert Action").

In good old Italian tradition, "Poliziotto Senza Paura" has a lot of alternate titles. I watched it as "Fearless Fuzz", but it's also known as "Magnum Cop", "Fearless", "Fatal Charm", "The Private Detective" and "A Matter of Honour". Despite several bad omens, like the comedy elements and recycled poster images, it is still an entertaining film that benefices from a solid plot and the presence of Joan Collins! To my knowledge, it's Diva Collins' only appearance in an Italian exploitation movie ever, but she does a terrific job and still looks astonishing as the 44-year-old stripper. Walter "Wally" Spada is a former cop now working as a financially struggling private detective. Austrian colleague Gaston Moschin subcontracts Wally to trace the runaway daughter of his wealthy businessman client, but the child is brutally kidnapped in front of him. Wally then travels to Austria himself, and via the related case of a murdered schoolgirl, he slowly uncovers a filthy network of teenage prostitution led by the owners of a sleazy nightclub. The first 10 minutes, as well as the final 15, are extremely compelling and chock-full of hard-boiled Poliziotesschi action. A few of the death sequences are unexpected and quite shocking and there are some clever plot twists. Unfortunately, the entire middle-section is too talkative and dull, and the non-stop, supposedly humorous gasconading between Merli and Moschin becomes irritating quite fast. Nevertheless, the more than decent score by the reliable Stelvio Cipriani and the above-average directing competences of Stelvio Massi contribute to making "Poliziotto Senza Paura" a recommendable viewing experience for fans of Italian 70s cult.