The Night They Took Miss Beautiful

As the title implies, THE NIGHT THEY TOOK MISS BEAUTIFUL offers up some hokey enjoyment. This obscure made-for-television effort introduces us to two dim-witted terrorists who hijack a charter plane full of beauty contestants and, unbeknownst to them, a pilot secretly carrying a deadly biological agent!

THE NIGHT THEY TOOK MISS BEAUTIFUL is not exactly grade A suspense, but nor is it boring or lacking in merit. In some ways it's just another lame '70s film, complete with cardboard characters, but in others it's surprisingly ambitious. Some scenes, particularly Mrs. Barrett's urging her daughter to give in to a horny terrorist, are painfully awkward; while others, especially those surrounding the much-feared biological agent, are quite fun.

It's a mixed bag, to be sure, and those with an appetite for cheesiness will appreciate it more than most. Watch for TV legend Phil Silvers in one of his final roles.

I suppose at some level this is a little bit appealing. A group of beauty contestants forced to be holed up in a sheet metal shed, awaiting a ransom. But it's all exploitative and dumb and pointless. Poor Chuck Connors; poor Gary Collins, poor Henry Gibson. Don't you feel for them? They were pretty important in their own worlds at one time. Not much left to say. They must have needed a few bucks. The girls are nice to look at and that maniac woman with her machine gun waving endlessly is sort of amusing, but it's all claptrap. It also suffers from one of the dullest decades in history, the 70's. It has that vapid look about it. Add to the do not resuscitate file.

This is a pretty good film, really. If you review the cast list, and like them, then you should find this tv movie better than average. Except for Victoria Principal's accent (which you get over once the movie gets going), and Gary Collins, this turns out to be a decent story, with a credible script and an some enjoyable action to it. Sheree North is outstanding, playing against type as one of the Hi-Jackers. Stella Stevens is always good, though her part is rather small. I'd like to get this on tape or dvd someday. Just some fun, mindless suspenseful entertainment. Enjoy!

This guilty pleasure has probably the ultimate in high concepts. Imagine the pitch: "a bunch of terrorists take a group of Miss Universe contestants hostage and demand a ransom!! And get this, they're also threatening to unleash a deadly virus if their demands aren't met!!"

The cast member who truly makes this hokum worth watching is Sheree North - looking seriously badass in cutaway shorts as the regulation psycho blonde, her best friend evidently her gun - who'd undergone the most extraordinary transformation imaginable from a former star of fifties musicals to a regular feature in high testosterone thrillers of the seventies.

In THE NIGHT THEY TOOK MISS BEAUTIFUL, a gaggle of beauty pageant contestants are loaded into a chartered airplane. Along for the ride is a former winner, played by Stella Stevens, as well as Victoria Principal. Piloting the plane is Gary Collins, while Chuck Connors himself is in the control tower!

Oh no!

Ruthless hijackers (Gregory Sierra and Jonathon Banks) have taken over, forcing an unscheduled landing! They herd the passengers into an abandoned warehouse, where they meet up with their diabolical cohort, played by Sheree North! It must be said that Ms. North plays the best character, and is the best part of the movie! She's a loose cannon with a habit, and boy, does she ever need a fix!

Oh no, again!

It seems that someone aboard the plane was carrying a biological weapon! The tension grows exponentially from this point, with Ms. North's character becoming more unglued by the minute!

For its time period, this is an excellent made-for-TV thriller. Highly recommended for lovers of such fare...