Il gatto dagli occhi di giada

Watch Me When I Kill really, desperately wants to be Deep Red. It is not. Still, few films are and Watch Me When I Kill has enough going for it to make it worth a watch. What other giallo film can claim that the killer's motivation involves their family being killed by Nazis. That's not a bad reason for a murder spree if you ask me. It does leave the film on a sour, somber note, but there's still some fun to be had before the big climax. It's never as suspenseful or brutal as some of its giallo brothers and sisters, but it tries so hard you want to give it point for trying.

One thing that does work - the score by Trans Europa Express. It has a distinct Goblin-esque feel to it that works incredibly well.

An enjoyable, if somewhat generic giallo here from director Antonio Bido which combines all the elements we know and love (gloved killer, convoluted plot, red herrings, smoking, moustaches), but fails to inject enough weirdness, gore or nudity to raise it up a notch. Still, for what it is, it does the job.

In Rome, a pharmacist gets his throat slashed and a lady (Mara) trying to get some aspirin almost glimpses the killer, so she becomes a target too. After a near miss, she moves in with her ex-boyfriend Luka (Corrado Pani from Matalo!) and the plot starts getting a bit overcrowded with suspects and potential victims. Where Mara works as a cabaret dancer, we have potential suitor the dancing guy, potential suitor the writer guy, and Paolo Malco...who might be the director there? We also have the pharmacist's assistant who is going to see a loan shark who is getting strange phone messages involving a recording of screaming, marching, dogs barking, Germans talking. Could that be a clue or just a recording of the It's A Knockout final 1976? The loan shark has a lover who gets her head shoved into a cooker, and they all served on jury to convict Franco Citti of murder, and he's just escaped from jail. Plus, the judge at that trial gets involved as well. And a mysterious picture, because that's standard practice in a giallo.

Phew! That's a lot of characters to introduce, and The Cat's Victims puts you through the paces in getting through them all while Luka runs around chomping cigars and trying to figure out all this for himself, a journey that leads him through Rome to Padua, where at last things get more bizarre as he traces all the victim's families. The murders are a bit few and far between, and the gore quotient low, but I think most giallo fans will not find much to complain about.

Except the lack of nudity.

Not the most shocking, nor the most bloody, nor the most stylish of giallo, but it's likable enough and is just that little bit different. Much helped by a very decent performance from Corrado Pani as the cigar chomping guy who seeks to unravel one of the most complicated of tales. Far too many characters and just a few too many red herrings and yet it does keep going and if Paola Tedesco as the female lead does not match the performance of Pani, this may be the fault of the dubbers. Not awash with killings, what there are, are very good. The first one is a bit pedestrian but the fantastic bath scene killing and the one backstage with all the costume are worth the admission price and if the ending is a bit abrupt, it is conclusive and brought a smile to my face. Effective score.

I am subdued by the realistic darkness of this film. Giallos as a whole may have scenes of disturbing violence, including rape or murder, or other forms of torture and exploitation - but often it's presented in such a manner that it's not realistic. Giallos are either too stunningly beautiful to be scary (my personal favorites), and when they aren't stylish and fashionable or lavishly atmospheric, there's so much sex and silliness that the sub-set of giallo films are obvious predecessors to American popcorn slashers.

Not so with Watch Me When I Kill, despite the absurd title, I avoided this giallo for months because I suspected that it was one of the slapstick exploitation proto-slashers that aren't really my preferred gialli, just because of the awful stupid English title. In fact, everything about English translation is why this film only gets a 7 and not an 8 or even a 9. The dialogue is too clunky and quaint, and I would really love to find an Italian-language version of this flick. The Cat with the Jade Eyes is the literal Italian title, and that's just the tip of the iceberg in how American marketing borderline destroys some of these old Italian sleeper hits.

Unlike most giallo directors, Antonio Bido loved middle aged women. Middle aged women make appearances as real solid characters in both Il gatto dagli occhi di giada and Solamente Nero, and except for one youthful main character every other woman in this film is over 50 except the opera singer who might be 35-40ish at youngest. Bido shows their faces, shows these "invisible women" as people watching and waiting and being worthy of being part of his film.

But that's not what makes Watch Me When I Kill so extraordinary. This movie is scary. The noises on the tape in the beginning of the film are truly disturbing, some scenes are mind-bendingly surreal but are more reminiscent of Bava or even Roman Polanski than Argento, and the end is so, so, so, so dark.

Purely by coincidence, I found an old & dusty videotape in the horror closet of an acquaintance of mine and the cover displayed the bizarre title (in Dutch) "Revenge of the Cat". I had to perform a search on the actors' names in order to find out that it actually was "Watch me when I Kill" (a.k.a. "The Cat's Victims", a.k.a "The Cat with the Jade Eyes") and initially that was a pleasant surprise, since this Italian late 70's giallo has been on my purchase list for quite some time now! After seeing it, I'm even more glad that I didn't spend money on a fancy DVD-version, as it is quite a disappointing and overly confusing horror effort. Surely not the worst film of its kind, but pretty bleak compared to the works of Sergio Martino or, of course, Dario Argento. The main problem with Antonio Bido's film is that it makes absolutely no attempts to involve the viewer in the search for the maniacal killer. Someone, who stays off screen all the time and deforms his voice whenever he leaves messages to his next victims, is seemly randomly killing people and it nearly takes half of the movie before we get informed that all the victims sat in the same jury committee during a lawsuit against a criminal who recently escaped from prison. That still doesn't reveal the killer's identity, but at least you can guess along from this point. Due to the lack of background during the beginning, "Watch me when I Kill" often feels a bit slow and dull. There's not much atmosphere and ever fewer tension, and the private detective character isn't the least bit amiable. The murders, on the other hand, are lusciously gore, with a close-up slit throat, a woman suffocated in a dish of food and the must brutal strangulation I ever saw. The cinematography sadly is too dark, although that might have been due to poor videotape quality, but the score is terrific (probably the best thing about the entire film) and the climax is fairly surprising.