Confessions from a Holiday Camp

The last of the four Confessions films is about Timmy and Sid running a holiday camp, basically a summer camp for the whole family. If you've seen any or all of the previous films in this series, you'll get just what you expect: General silliness, dumb gags and nudity at the drop of a hat. There was a British show called Hi-De-Hi which was also set in a holiday camp, but that show had polish and well developed characters, while this film is just an excuse for sexual antics. That in and of itself is not bad, but the film doesn't try very hard to be anything but a sex comedy. I'm sure the film maker wasn't looking to make a masterpiece but I just found this so-so at best. Mostly for lovers of the sex comedy genre and for anyone who feels nostalgic about the film.

(Butlin's is well know chain of British holiday camps, in case dear reader you are unaware). Randy Timmy Lea and his unfaithful brother-in-law Sid gain employment at a British holiday camp. They organise a beauty contest for "the talent", the young women take it in turns to seduce young Tim in return for improving their chances of winning the competition. This is the fourth and last entry in the "Confessions" series. I have gone about watching them wrong, I enjoyed the first film (Window Cleaner) but then skipped the next two. Got to be honest judging by Holiday Camp I can see why they made no more. It starts off with the song "Give Me England" by The Wurzels, being a fan of them I was impressed. The always likeable Robin Askwith is back as Tim, Anthony Booth is back as Sidney. The lovely British actress Linda Hayden is also back (she was in Cleaner), and as always she is never shy to shed her clothes! The story is set in March and Tim says how cold it is yet holiday makers are sunbathing by the pool and rubbing suntan cream into their bodies so that it a of a contradiction. The comedy comes in two forms. Firstly there is the slapstick, I did laugh out loud a few times but it can also be plain silly. Then there is the sexist, homophobic and racist humour which today would be considered politically incorrect. There is plenty of brief female frontal nudity but the sex scenes are lame. One of my old movie review books described this film as "ghastly". I am sure many people will agree with that, as for me I enjoyed it to an extent but were it not for the nudity and The Wurzels I would have scored it lower than 5/10. I am now interested to see how the middle two movies compare, hopefully they will be better than this one.

Confessions From a Holiday Camp, the fourth and final film to star Robin Askwith as working class lothario Timmy Lea, fails spectacularly as a comedy, the unsophisticated script resorting to embarrassing racist remarks, crass homophobic jokes, and childish slapstick in a desperate attempt to illicit giggles from its audience.

'So, if it's not all that funny, then why have you rated it so highly?' I hear you ask. The answer: the endless quality British crumpet, of course. The plot, which sees Timmy organising a beauty contest at Camp Funfrall, allows for plenty of bare breasts, some shapely female derrieres, and more bush than Hampton Court Maze. Not only does the lovely Linda Hayden, star of the first Confessions film, return to play foxy French holiday host Brigitte, but we also get sexy brunette Caroline Ellis as yummy Brummie Gladys, Kim Hardy as the camp's tasty announcer, Nicola Blackman as Blackbird, the camp's curvacous Caribbean queen (and, sadly, the brunt of the racist jokes), and busty Janet Edis as a horny MILF.

Unfortunately, there's also rather a lot of Robin Askwith's hairy ass on display, but you can't win 'em all I suppose.

I admit a certain affection for the CONFESSIONS... series of '70s sex comedy, which perfectly captured working class attitudes during that decade, much as the later CARRY ONs did. CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER and CONFESSIONS OF A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR are my favourites, with Askwith's professions lending themselves perfectly to a series of episodic shenanigans.

The last of the quartet is CONFESSIONS FROM A HOLIDAY CAMP, and it really is a last-ditch attempt to wring more money out of audiences. This time around, Askwith and Booth end up working at a dodgy sub-Butlins type place, where girls parade around in the bikinis a lot and end up getting into saucy encounters with a permanently befuddled Askwith.

There are some funny moments here - like the bit with Askwith in the swimming pool - but a lot of it is cringeworthy rather than amusing and the slapstick scenes are very childish. Lance Percival's portrayal of a gay guy is really awful, as are Askwith's off-colour jokes at the expense of a black woman. It's a pity the script is so poor, because there's some top totty here in the form of Liz Fraser and Penny Meredith, but they would have been better served in one of the other, better, instalments.

This is the most saucy out of the four "Confessions". You get from this one, just what you get from the others, only it's funnier and more raunchy. Again walking hazzard, Askwith and his brother in law have a new venture, working at a holiday camp, a real dive but it does have it's perks. Whoever thought there'd be an underground cafe, where through the windows you can see the underground of the family pool, and that's not all, as there's a familiar streaker roaming about, and as a Confession's fan, you don't have to be an Einstein to figure out who. And again the family pay a visit, including the bigoted Grandad, who I find a hoot. He gets pie eyed and mistakes one of those long funeral cars, carrying a coffin, as their ride to the camp, the bereaved family, with them. The grandad tries to cheer the family with sing song. There's a great raunchy scene near the end with Askwith up to his neck again in, you know, cleavage, etc, inside the ghost train building, where the family decide to take a ride. How this ends with Askwith, is just another reason I love these films. He makes up with some hotties, one a busty Brazilian who really wants to win this beauty contest, and you don't want to be at the receiving end, if she loses, as you're liable to be wearing custard pie on your face. The pie fight that erupts, so reminded me of Pacific Banana, where also in that, there was a gay guy. What's funny here, this famous pianist in the movie just keeps on playing through this fight, while below this mischievous kid, is sawing at the legs of the piano. Askwith shares some nude pool too, him and Booth again having close calls with their boss and other staff, their careers in the balance. One of them, a lanky gay guy who's onto them, has his worst fear, coming true, when a score of hotties jump him, where they may of just turned him straight. That is the tastiest and more entertaining of the four, with so many other scenes I'd love to mention. This was the last of the series which in my opinion, ended on the perfect note.