Chatterbox!

I saw this movie on the big screen when I was a teenager. It was a time when you couldn't go to XXX rated movies... This is not that kind of movie.

The idea is so original, never been done before or since... a woman has a vagina that talks and sings (makes you think of a combination of Joan Rivers and Don Rickles). Because of it's caustic and degrading humor the poor girl can't maintain a decent relationship with any man. When she goes to a Doctor to see if something can be done to shut it up, he decides this is a dream come true and should take it on the road. He becomes her manager. Unfortunately the vagina gets more attention than the girl it's attached to. I'll leave the ending for you to see, all I'll say is that it's a happy one.

Regarding the quality of the film, yes it is a stinker. But when you take such a unique story and stick in a few decent jokes (no worse than Arnolds'), some small cameo appearences and a lot less sex than you'll see in today's movies.) I think that what came out was a hysterical, never to forget, sexual comedy worth taking out a bottle of champagne or a jug of cheap wine and playing when you and yours decide you want a good laugh before going to bed. Just sit back and relax and have a good laugh. Believe me, it could do wonders to add a little extra into a relationship. And then when I think of when Madeline Kahn sings "Sweet Mystery of Life" in "Young Frankenstein", I thought I would lose my lunch I laughed so hard. Give the movie the chance... I guarantee that you have paid much more for lots of movie to see worse.

I first saw this movie on cable back in the '80s, but first heard of it when it played at the local drive-in in the '70s.

The one song I could never get out of my head is when Penelope is dressed up like Marilyn Monroe in the famed Seven Year Itch scene with her dress blowing up in the air. The song says something about "Get out your doctor-ordered wang dang doodle." Penelope, of course, is totally embarrassed to be seen and exploited this way but it's a rather classic scene.

Candace Rialson was exceptionally beautiful and it is so sad to hear she died at such a young age. I'm sure this film would not be on the top of her list as one of her favorites, but it does have it's moments.

The 1970's marked a change in sexual liberation. What was, and still is called a sexual revolution. This was marked by the rise of hard-core pornography within mainstream culture. A situation (fad if you like) that was short in popularity. It's most famous, and popular 'poster' for this was the 'high concept' premise of 1972's Deep Throat. This film (that was released in seemingly austere cinemas) had the story of a woman who's clitoris was found at the back of her throat. This was a concept brought forward into popular culture simply by the film's star, Linda Lovelace's, ability to take the shaft of a penis deep into her throat. This is now of course a staple of the porn film (now into extremes of gagging from this concept – ad nauseum). This film bred a stream of hard porn films that felt the need for some kind of story. This was later diminished by video, which subsequently killed 'cinematic' pornography. (Probably a good thing really. There is only so much narrative you can create around a f**k movie.)

So, within this concept of a new liberalism within the parameters of sexuality within cinema, there was clearly room for this high concept sexual obscurity within the non-pornographic comedy film. This is where our film, Chatterbox enters. Made in 1977 towards the end of this 'deviant' progression through sexual mores; it's not hard-core porn. It's not even soft-core porn. It is simply a concept film, placed within the ideas of the hard/soft porn fashion of the time. It is a late comer really with this idea, as the porn industry would soon be broken down, and marginalised to be entirely filmed on video. OK, so there really is no reason for hard core porn to have story, as we all realise in the world we live in today with its compilations of cum shots et al. But, I digress.

Chatterbox really has no connection to the porn industry as it was then, and certainly not as it is now. I simply open with this idea due to the fact that it does possess the qualities that Deep Throat set out to show. That is, a concept around sexuality that not only visualises something new, but also participates in a knowing joke. Deep Throats concept was/is essentially a form of comedy (something you are highly unlikely to see in pornography outside of the 1970's). Not necessarily a bad thing. They should be separated. Well, anyway, the film I'm supposed to be talking about is so far removed from porn. It is simply a comedy with t**s and ass!! So I digress yet again. Well, I don't, because I haven't even started on the film.

Chatterbox tells the story of Penelope Pittman (Candice Rialson), who has an issue with her vagina. The problem is, it is able to talk, with a completely separate mind and outlook of itself. In the opening scene, we see Penelope in sexual congress with her boyfriend Ted (Perry Bullington). Her wise-cracking (no pun intended) vagina begins a torrent of abuse that forces Ted to leave believing that Penelope is responsible for such hurtful diatribes. This would mark the end of the relationship, something Penelope is concerned about. Her concern is realised when she goes to see Dr Pearl, who confirms (and is shown clearly) that her vagina can talk. This sparks dollar signs in the eyes of the psychologist, who pursues a career for the seemingly shy Penelope (or specifically her talking/singing vagina – later to be named Virginia).

Well, the story is obvious. The film itself is low-low budget. It shows. But I think it adds to its charm. Yes, it does have charm. The acting is atrocious. We even see the boom-mic in several shots (a 'mistake' that is often used these days to parody – or even pay homage – to bad filmmaking in the past; just look at the brilliant Garth Merenghi's Dark Place as just one example).

Virginia becomes an over-night singing sensation in the film. Much to the chagrin of Penelope, who is clearly looking for Mr. Right in the world, whilst Virginia is only really after a good hard f**k. It may well be a juxtaposition of the female revolution that prevailed in the '70's. In that women had to mix the reality of promiscuity with the more promising aspect of longevity. The film is a certain piece of fun, that can be read in many ways.

I believe this is a thoroughly awful film. But it really has a charm to it that would make me recommend it to someone I know may appreciate its flaws. Whilst it is a very silly 'comedy', it also encapsulates a time of innocence. Yes sexuality was out-to-bear, but there was a complete innocence surrounding that. We are currently in a state of sexual ambiguity, simply because variety has been so degraded (and I do believe that film has played a part in this), and we find society focusing on tiny elements of sexuality (case in point – this is one example – the obsession with feet). I believe this has become a facet of sexuality due to photography and cinemas ability to frame aspects of the body, focusing on 'parts' of the body, and not representing the whole.

I'm really not sure if I've represented this film at all! But in a strange way I really enjoyed its innocent charm. An innocence that we should all enjoy in hindsight of the sexual downer that subsequently happened a decade later with the onset of aids! Yes, that's how you end a fluffy review!!

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Before Me And Him, the female anatomy had something to say. Smoking hot Rialson (Hollywood Boulevard) breaks into fame much quicker, becoming an overnight sensation, when her anatomy (vagina) starts talking back to her, and boy! can she sing. Sadly for Penelope (Rialson) this is causing her quite emotional impact and upset, when her boyfriend, who looks much older, leaves her. A horny female customer gets the wrong idea at her place of work too. There are some funny bits, and the C word is used to quite an advantage, here, a one liner, concerning The Star Spangled banner, the memory highlight of the film. You could say, this is just an excuse to belly a pornographic film, but Chatterbox is more than. It's quite an original, but also done in a smart way. There's not much fornicating, but more nudity and hottie Rialson, is truly something in the bare. The choreographed number with Rialson's anatomy and backup, with Rialson, is dressed up in light chicken get up, feathers flying is classic and catchy. Be sure to catch this one, with good performances to boot.

Really bad, in that weird seventies movie way. Basically one joke, and the premise wears thin, but it is one hell of a weird premise. For similar bad/weird/sexy kicks see Percy and Percy's Progress.