- Margo: [reading from a card] "The Ooh-Aah bird is so-called because it lays square eggs." I don't understand that.
- Barbara: I suppose we must be rather a blot on the avenue's escutcheon.
- Margo: Yes, you are.
- Barbara: Oh.
- Margo: But you are very dear friends. And by now I have risen like a phoenix from the fires of your eccentricities.
- Tom: Ah, don't she talk lovely!
- Barbara: Yeah, very nice.
- Margo: You know what I mean. Nothing you can do now will shock me. It's quite simple.
- Tom: Yes. I see that. When's the boar-walker coming, Barbara?
- Barbara: Tomorrow.
- Margo: Boar-walker? What's a boar-walker?
- Tom: This chap we know is bringing his boar to serve Pinky.
- Margo: With what?
- [Tom smiles]
- Margo: Oh, my God!
- Barbara: Margo, you're shocked!
- Margo: Where?
- Tom: Not in here, in the garden.
- Margo: But I shall be able to see it over the fence.
- Barbara: Only if you're looking.
- [Margo and Jerry walk in on Tom chasing after Barbara with the scissors]
- Jerry: I see the asylum haven't sent the van yet!
- Margo: Road cleaning, I shall pay. Street lighting, I shall pay. Ground rent, I shall pay. But when it comes to the drain in front of my house, I shall not. Because it is blocked up and overflowing.
- Mr. Squires - Clerk: I shall make a note of that.
- Margo: You will do more than that, Mr. Squires. You will have a plumber on my door step at nine o'clock tomorrow morning with a plunger in his hand, or you will not get a penny.
- Mr. Squires - Clerk: Just who do you think you are, Mrs. Ledbetter?
- Margo: I am the silent majority.
- Jerry: I was just telephoning to find out if I can have my car today. Oh, Tuesday.
- [Margo grabs the phone from Jerry]
- Margo: What do you mean Tuesday?
- [to Jerry]
- Margo: Be quiet!
- [on telephone]
- Margo: I don't care if the spare parts come from Mars. Go and collect them. "A bottle-neck in the lube bay." What does that mean in English? Well, say lubrication, then.
- Jerry: Margo!
- Margo: [to Jerry] Be quiet, Jerry.
- [on telephone]
- Margo: All right. Go and look at your wretched worksheet. No, you may not tinkle me back. I'll hold on.
- Tom: [calls through the letterbox] Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
- Margo: Tom!
- [pauses]
- Margo: *What* is that?
- Tom: It's two dustbins on a trolley.
- Margo: I can see it's two dustbins on a trolley and when I asked you the question it was a rhetorical one which does not need a direct answer as you knew very well in the first place.
- Tom: Oh. You make me hold my breath when you do those long sentences, Margo.
- Margo: What *is* it?
- Tom: It's two rhetorical dustbins on a rhetorical trolley.
- Margo: Then will you kindly remove them from my crazy paving before someone sees us.
- Tom: They'd have less chance of seeing us if we hide behind the dustbins.