La enfermera

Slogged through finding and reviewing this for one scene. Italian sex comedy says it all. Saw it on Cinemax, or equivalent, in the 80's and remember Jack Palance stroking the pubic hair of a naked young gal stretched across his lap. And Bond villains stroke cats!?! Bond gals at the height of their powers, what's not to like. The gal on Jack's lap deserves mention somewhere, and whoever conceived that setting.

"The Sensuous Nurse" is a 1975 Italian sex comedy that should manage to satisfy most viewers. It has been handsomely produced, features an array of oddball and amusing characters, and is never less than lively. The story here deals with a scheming family that hires a nurse named Anna (Ursula Andress) to care for its desperately ill uncle, in the hopes that her abundant charms will precipitate a cardiac event in the old man and push him over the edge. But, you'll probably be asking, does this film satisfy the minimum requirements of a sex comedy? Is it both sexy AND funny? Thankfully, the answer is a definite "yes." This film has a rep for featuring Ms. Undress' sexiest performance ever, and, as it turns out, deservedly so. Ursula appears in any number of full-frontal nude scenes (her arched-back skinny-dip is especially memorable), and as an extraspecial treat for 007 fans who like to see their Bond girls nekkid in other films, we are here treated to the awesome spectacle of Luciana Paluzzi (Fiona in 1965's "Thunderball") showing off her, uh, paluzzis in very frenetic fashion. The presence of these two bared Bond babes should automatically make this film a must for all red-blooded American horndogs; come to think of it, they might want to pair this film with the 1971 giallo "The Black Belly of the Tarantula," with its remarkable Claudine Auger/Barbara Bach/Barbara Bouchet Bond-babe triumvirate! Comedywise, Duilio del Prete stands out as the family's chief conspirator; his is a very amusing bit of farcical acting. Just watch him wiggle around while trying to show Ursula how to act sexy! And even Jack Palance gets to play a menacingly droll small role here! Bottom line: If you want a sexy and entertaining film to watch one evening, you can certainly do worse than "The Sensuous Nurse." Oh...another great-looking DVD from No Shame, too.

Anna (Ursula Andress) is brought in as an official R.N. by ex-lover Benito Varotto (Duilio Del Prete), ostensibly to nurse an aging widower, Count Leonida Bottacin (Mario Piso), back to health after a heart attack. But Benito is actually leading a group of heirs and businessmen, including American entrepreneur Mr. Kitch (Jack Palance), with ulterior motives, reflected by what Anna hopefully will actually accomplish with the Count. He has a history of, well, liking women, and would be actually a bit more "vulnerable" as he is cured. The bad guys get derailed as Anna does not go along and grows closer to the Count. The ending might be said to be ironic, but it is probably better described as predictable.

But so much for plot--this film is totally an erotic comedy, from start to finish, and oh how good. There are many nude scenes, including ones of Anna and Jole, one of the malevolent heiresses, played by Luciana Paluzzi. Both Ursula and Luciana are noteworthy continental ex-Bond women, and thus fulfill the fantasies of male viewers. As she did in Thunderball (remember Fiona Volpe), Luciana plays a femme fatale, sort of, although less elegantly.

Perhaps the best scene is Anna's (slow) complete strip and jump in bed with the young Adone, the "other patient" (who incredibly is resisting), in an attempt to find out what he knows about the plot. But even at this point she is already two-faced (for the better), for she has decided not to go along. However, Benito is more than a two-timer with women, having had lengthy flings in the past with both Anna and Jole, and the rival best erotic scene follows an invective-filled (to put it mildly) argument between him and Jole. This is a standing-up encounter in which Luciana is down to black panties only. Another nice one is Ursula swimming fully naked in the estate's pool. The Count is free, as the client, to put his hands wherever he wants to on Ursula, and he takes advantage. Hey, somehow I've gone back to the actresses' names in my descriptions. Erotic scenes involving other women include an amusing naked wine cellar chase. "The Sensuous Nurse" is compact, 77 minutes, but it doesn't need to be--it is enjoyable without interruption, start to finish. Definitely recommended.

Ursula Andress' naked body is one of those things that make you believe in God. The other two women (especially the one who plays the maid) have great bodies as well. Then why is the higher grade that I can give to a film with such quality and quantity of nudity only 3 out of 10? Because, to get to Ursula's unbelievable body, we have to sit through a movie that is otherwise unfunny and boring (keep in mind that I watched the full 101-minute version, not the 78-minute American one which probably cuts out a lot of the extraneous material). In typical Italian-comedy tradition, most of the characters are exaggerated caricatures (the army freak, the "latin lover", the constant drunk, the naive maid) that are not funny, simply overacted. Final word: watch this, but keep your finger on the fast-forward button, you're gonna need it. (*)

The Sensuous Nurse (1975) was a Italian sexual comedy that starred the one time Bond girl Ursula Andress. Man was she hot in this movie.. She was stacked and built like a *@#% brick house. Ursula was smoking hot in this movie. I have never seen a nurse's outfit that filled out before.

Ms. Andress stars as a nurse who is hired to take care of a rich elderly man. Even one in the house seems to be knocking the boots. One night, the nurse decides to take the grandson's temperature and give some needed T.L.C. to her ancient client. The old man takes to his nurse and this angers the rest of the family. What kind of job did the family hire her out to do? Will the geezer fall for her car giver? How can she deal with the octogenarian crone and the rest of the family? To find out you need to find a copy of the SENSUOUS NURSE!! Italian but badly dubbed into English.

Highly recommended.