Drive-In Massacre

For the type of movie this is, given when it was made, and a total lack of big name stars ( or small name stars for that matter ) this film is very watchable. The players, none of whom are great at their craft, are worth the effort and make the movie. The special effects aren't bad given '76 standards and low budget. The plot is typical and functional. My favorite part of the whole thing? The cops. They actually come off like cops. Coupled with the premise its like Dragnet does Freddie Kruger. I liked this film. Of course I liked Dragnet and Nightmare on Elm Street too. Its certainly not great art, but thats not what this type of film is meant to be. Its meant to be cheap entertainment, and thats exactly what it is.

The movie is awful, cheesy but kinda fun to watch. It's better than I expected it to be - I thought it might have been a grindhouse style of film but it's not. It's a slasher, bloody but not a lot of that going on... it's main focus is on two cops trying to solve the murders! The best thing about the film are the two cops who could pass as brothers! Really, their facial features look similar to one another and similar build to their bodies.. only real difference is one is slightly shorter than the other!! I could see these two in a spin off 1970s TV show playing the same two cops and still solving murders. LOL! It's not a film to seek out - even for a die-hard horror fan - but it is an OK watch if you happen to catch it on one night or acquire it in a film pack as I did.

3/10

OK, just finished watching the awful transfer of this film on a $1 DVD. I prepared myself to be shatteringly disappointed by reading the reviews here before I started. And... drum roll please... I didn't think it was nearly as bad as everyone says.

That being said, let's get the really awful aspects out into the open; the music really is pretty uninspired. Think Radio Shack electronic workshop - imagine a 9 year old plugging and unplugging wires and pushing buttons on a flimsy bit of PC board. Got it? OK, bring it down a notch. There are also some awkward transitions in the plot. Consider a story you might tell a child, the kind you make up as you go along. When the child asks why the plot of your story contradicts itself, you just wave off their questions with a shake of your hand and say, "Keep listening!" This movie does that... kind of a lot. And, alas, sometimes the murdered dead look like dummies - and that never happens in any film and it should absolutely not be forgiven under any circumstances... ;) But what about the good? How about some really excellent acting on the part of Douglas Gudbye as "Germy" and his counterpart, Newton Naushaus, "Mr Johnson." Gudbye's skill on the screen made me pause the movie to check his filmography, hoping he had matured into a great success. Saddly, his role here was his first and last. Gudbye puts Dustin Hoffman to shame in acting out the role of a mentally handicapped. Naushaus, also appearing here in his only film role, was the embodiment of the anal-retentive schmuck we all endured at our first summer job. Also good? The sets - always authentic but never in the way.

Bearing in mind that the film was intended for drive-in audiences, the plot, the ending, and the characters all make perfect sense and contribute to what would have been, if seen in the proper environment, a genuinely unnerving film.

I'm sorry for those who really think this is the worst film ever. I'm always on a quest for the Holy Grail of Hokiness, the Ark of Awful... but it won't be found here.

Drive-In Massacre (1976)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Low budget horror film about a maniac cutting people's heads off with a ninja sword at a California drive-in. This certainly isn't a "good" film but it works very well for its type—a B budget drive-in flick of the 70's. There's plenty of violence and gore, including a rather well done decapitation and some wonderful, zany dialogue. The biggest problem is that the film runs a tad bit slow even at 74-minutes. The nice twist ending and warning was also a nice touch. This certainly isn't going to be remembered as anything great but if you like "B" trash then you might enjoy this one.

This was actually pretty watchable for the genre it was made in. In no way was this film intended to be anything else but B-movie fare at a drive-in very much like the one portrayed within (minus the murders we hope). A nice touch is that it contains the semblance of a storyline. Instead of following the killer around as in most slasher films, they follow the two policeman that are trying to find him as they interview potential suspects. The very novelty of seeing it told this way made it fun for me. Some other moments, such as the not-too-seamless voiceover by a character named "The Great Germy", are so awful that it's almost an inspired kind of awful.

You basically have to have gone to the drive-in yourself years ago to see how dead on some of the portrayals of the patrons are. Yes it's schlock, but it's mostly amusing schlock and perfect for a boring saturday night when you had nothing else to rent; provided of course your video store even carries a copy of this.

For those who'd like to buy this and have no idea what they're in for; just ask yourself the following: Do you like such movies as "The Prowler", "He Knows You're Alone" and "My Bloody Valentine" ? Heck, did you even KNOW these films existed ? If the answer is "yes" to both, then you'll like this film, but don't pay more than 5 or 6 dollars for it. If your only exposure to slasher films has been Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Halloween and maybe a Friday The 13th film or two, then you will probably not like this film and stay far far FAR away.