Black Samurai

Fellow fans of bad movies, you're in for a real treat with this Jim Kelly classic!

OK here's the deal: The daughter of an important ambassador (who also apparently happens to live by the samurai code – we're never too sure as we never actually get to see him!) is kidnapped by some decidedly mean looking crooks (headed by a dead ringer for Lee Van Cleef!) who happen to be working for the head of a group of Satanists (got that?)

Step forward agent Roland Sand (Kelly) of D.R.A.G.O.N who is assigned the mission to rescue our beautiful damsel in distress. (What does the agency name stand for? I haven't the foggiest because it's never explained!) Anyway, to cut a long story short (even though there isn't really a story present!) it happens that by a seemingly unlikely coincidence, the seized sexy daughter also happens to be Kelly's girlfriend!!!! Wow, what a small world eh?!

Obviously our man quite rightly wastes no time at all in promptly searching for her but before he can rescue her he must first fight his way through a seeming army of devil worshippers, some Zulu warriors(!!!) a vulture(!!!), a room full of rattle snakes(which are kept securely in their holding cell via a grilled door!!!!!! Eh?!!!!!) and a fair number of demented dwarfs(!!!!!!!) Yes, you might well want to re-read that last sentence to make sure that you weren't seeing things. Believe me, if it sounds bizarre on paper then it's even more bizarre on film!

Chock full of twangy 70's music, groovy fashions, bad acting and some absolutely (unintentionally) hilarious scenes throughout this is a veritable bad movie classic!

Best scene of all for me though was near the end when our hero dukes it out with the head henchman charmingly referred to as Bone. For some odd reason the film suddenly develops an entire overdub wherein our hero taunts his opponent by throwing at him such choice insults as 'Chump', 'Sissy' and 'Faggot' (all spoken way above the normal volume level on the soundtrack) – Needless to say I almost wet myself laughing.

Also be sure to check out the cool and garish opening credits sequence – awesome stuff!

Oh, did I mention the jet pack? – Damn, you NEED to see this film!

Yes, this movie stinks. But before you start ragging on it too much, understand that for this director (Al Adamson), this is a very good film and a massive improvement over his usual films! So, while this movie is of course quite bad, at least it's better than many of Adamson's other grade-z films, such as "Dracula Versus Frankenstein", "Brain of Blood" and "Hell's Bloody Devils". It's not an exaggeration to say that Adamson could easily be the worst director in film history--even worse than the famed Ed Wood, Jr..

As for the film, it is pretty typical for an Adamson epic, though I am surprised that Jim Kelly needed the money so badly that he'd agree to make the movie. I am also surprised that Kelly actually made two films for this schlock-meister! He sure has sunk a long way since his breakout role in "Enter the Dragon".

The film features some terribly exciting scenes. One is a Cadillac that goes off the road and down a small embankment...then naturally explodes (you can see that the car was LATER exploded and this clip was clumsily stuck in after the car goes off the road). Another great scene is using his martial arts on midgets--ooh, gotta be careful of those ninja-midgets (Hmmm...wouldn't it be a cool remake if they made "Snow White and the Seven Ninja Dwarfs"?). And, not content to do this once, Kelly fights another midget later in the film. Not surprisingly, the little guy was amazingly easy to beat! Imagine that! Additionally, Kelly fights an assortment of baddies whose martial arts talents are nil--so you never really get a chance to see the sort of action Kelly actually is capable of doing. In fact, I think that fighting the ninja midgets was about the best fighting in the film!!

Despite the film being filled with deficiencies, there are a few positive things I should point out. Kelly drives a really, really cool sports car and I am surprised the budget could afford it (perhaps it belonged to Adamson or one of the other cast members). Also, at one point he flies around using a jet-pack! In reality, one of these machines can only remain airborne for a few seconds (20-30 tops) but various clips were strung together to make for a neat scene--though oddly, a few "throwaway" scenes were allowed to remain (such as when he crashed into the creek).

As for the plot...well, forget it. Who cares?! It's a confusing melange concerning kidnappings, drugs and a devil cult...nuff said??!!

Overall, bad action, bad acting, a terrible script and pitiful direction make this a rather stupid film from start to finish and is only of interest to bad movie fans like myself. Chalk up another to Adamson, King of Dreck!

By the way, if you do see the film, isn't it interesting that one of the bad guys looks a lot like Damon Wayans!

It has been a while since I watched Black Belt Jones, but that was the previous Jim Kelly film I had seen and recently the mood took me for some blaxploitation films. Where the previous film had Kelly fighting for his own streets, here we have him as a much in demand secret agent. He plays Robert Sand (Bobby to his mates) who is on holiday playing tennis with some hotties with the phone off the hook whenever his employers come to him for help in breaking a right of black-magic using international drug dealers. Sands of course says no, until he finds the group have kidnapped the daughter of the Japanese Ambassador to the US (Toki) who also happens to be Sand's girlfriend (albeit not one he is particularly faithful to). Sand sets out to rescue her and bring down the gang all at once.

I quite like Blaxploitation films when they work; the best of them manage to be really good and make the most of limited resources, but there can still be good ones that try and have fun while being inherently poor. Unfortunately Black Samurai seems to either not be aware of its own limitations or just seems content to totally ignore them and hope it will all just come together. By this I mean that it doesn't play to its strengths very well but instead plays to an ideal that it can't achieve either financially or in terms of the skills of those involved. There are big moments of this (like the jet-pack scene) but generally the whole film is poor and just seems worse for how far from its own target it falls. The plot is clunky and very little fun at all while the action sequences don't even offer cheesy thrills because they are mostly poorly done. It is a shame because I like Kelly but he looks poor because of how bad the extras are at even things like falling down.

Technically the film shows how little effort went into this. The direction and shot selection is poor but it is the audio that is most shocking. Quality varies between lines within the same scene but more annoying is the ADR/dubbing done after the film. When it at its best it is just out of synch but at its worst lines are dubbed onto people who aren't even speaking at the time – the fight with Bones and Sand is hilarious as a result. And so the film goes – it fills time when it can, point a camera roughly where people are standing when they're doing something and generally fails to be fun, dramatic, exciting or even funny in a cheesy retro way. The cast can't do much. Kelly is not a great presence but he is totally wasted here – uncool, not allowed to impressive physically and just looks uncomfortable for most of it. The supporting cast are weaker – Joi and Chia are cute but never given the chance to be a sexy distraction in the film as they should have been. Meanwhile the main villains stand and pull faces while rubbish henchmen fall over awkwardly.

A poor film then – even by the standards of the genre. It seems to think it can make big things work despite having no talent or resources to achieve it and the end result is poor no matter how you look at it. It says a lot when you consider that the entertainment high-point of the film is a fight with a vulture where Kelly lies on his back doing defensive arm movements while someone waves a stuffed toy in his face, intercut with a white stuntman standing in for Kelly who appears to have had a panicking vulture stapled to his chest – and even this only works because of how unintentionally daft it all looks.

This movie is a forgettable karate flick starring the wonderful Jim Kelly. Every karate movie cliche is here, including midgets, and an evil white guy karate master (who doesn't know karate) with a vulture named "Voltan."

STANDOUT SCENE - Watch closely when the evil white guy sends his vulture to attack Kelly. Quote, "Voltan! Kill!!" (never mind that vultures are lazy creatures by nature who wouldn't even eat a dead deer if they had to cross the street to get it). Okay, now watch when Voltan lands on Jim Kelly -- Kelly's stunt-double is a white guy. A blonde white guy - they didn't even give the double a dark haired wig or anything.

Other standouts include Kelly's staff fight with a group of thugs, and his pre-final showdown with a Damon Wayans lookalike, where Kelly spouts Muhammad Ali like banter ("C'mon chump! C'mon sissy!")

A great movie if you can a) find it and b) stay awake through it!!

Thats about how I would sum up this bad boy. I'm a big Jim Kelly fan and believe Black Belt Jones to be one of the great movies of the genre. This movie is not on the same level but was enjoyable in an extremely odd way. The terrible acting and dialogue, and special effects weren't surprising. But the bad fight scenes were. Especially when you consider Jim's talent and charisma. Seriously, they were terrible. I'm not sure who was responsible for the "editing," but they should never work in movies again. Even as a clerk at Blockbuster. The action doesn't make sense, people suddenly jump across the screen, sound overlays don't match up to the action on the screen and the overall fight choreography is awful. Apparently Jim was the only legit martial artist in this movie. Go into it with the right attitude of enjoying a terrible and cheesy movie and you'll have fun. But if you want to see him in a much better movie, try Black Belt Jones, Three the Hard Way, and even Hot Potato. I wish Jim had made more movies where he had sufficient backing.