The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield

The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

BOMB (out of 4)

If you're looking for a documentary on the life and career of Jayne Mansfield then it's best you stay far away from this "film" which is really nothing more than an exploitation of the actress. What we basically get is a mondo movie that features footage of a vacation Mansfield took to Rome, Italy just months before her death. With a fake narrator pretending to be Mansfield, she talks about all sorts of dumb things but mostly about how she loves Italian men and wishes she could see a Roman orgy. Because there was so little footage of this vacation, we also get clips from some of her later movies edited in and there's footage of other people not even connected to Mansfield in her real life. This is an incredibly stupid, tasteless and downright waste of time that just proves that the actress was treated just as bad after her death as she was in the last few years of her life. We get several shots from her Playboy photos as well as clips from the notorious PROMISES....PROMISES! but this film here makes that stinker look like the work of Orson Welles. The silly thing is that there are three people credited with directing this movie but if any of them had any class they would have requested their names be removed. Again, there's no question that this thing was rushed into production to capitalize on Mansfield's death but the most sickening thing comes in the final ten minutes when we see a fake "crash" and then see death photos of Mansfield who of course died in a car crash. Even more tasteless is that we see her ex-husband Mickey Hargitay showing off the home they shared and then we get introduced to their two sons, both of whom were in the car when their mother died. The first portion of this film, as bad as it is, was apparently just trying to exploit the star and show off its X-rating but what happens at the end is just a disgrace and really vile. This film is just a complete bore that turns into something so tasteless that there's really no point in watching the film.

By the time Jayne Mansfield came to film her Wild Wild World documentary in the late 60s, her star was well and truly on the wane. The A-movie parts had dried up and she was acting in B-movie trash and touring night clubs in order to make a living. As well as regular centre spreads in magazines like Playboy, Mansfield still maintained a place in the public eye. Although by no means the star she once was she still commanded press attention and was probably, by this point, one of the first people to be famous for being famous.

The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield is a curiously muddled affair which cobbles together footage of Jayne sashaying around various Euro locations. Jayne visits tourist attractions, night clubs, nudist beaches and beauty parlours in a whistle-stop tour of Europe.

Jayne unfortunately was killed during the production of the film and so some early scenes of her in Rome involve a (sometimes) poorly concealed double. Another drawback is the faux-Mansfield voice over. More a parody of Mansfield than anything else this breathy, dumb blonde voice comes out with some real clunkers during the course of the film! Perhaps the most twisted aspect of the movie is the inclusion of photographs of the scenes of the car crash which claimed Jayne's life followed by a tour of the Pink Palace by a glum-looking Mickey Hargitay and two of Jayne's young sons. A rather sleazy and sensational end to an otherwise harmless piece of late-60s camp.

Although by no means a good film, this is an interesting one to watch. It is nice to see the attention Mansfield still attracted by this point in her career. Although the success of glossy A-movies such as The Girl Can't Help It were more than 10 years old by this point and Mansfield was 'starring' in dross like The Fat Spy, she could still draw a crowd. Although less curvy than in her heyday and there being something slightly grotesque about her wiggle and constant near-nudity, Jayne was nothing if not a personality. And her Wild, Wild World sums her up perfectly!

*One point of interest for film buffs: David Puttnam is credited as an executive producer on this film. A very early film credit, Lord Puttnam is he is now is probably more famous for producing movies like Midnight Express, Bugsy Malone and Chariots of Fire. Well, we all have to start somewhere!

Forget Michael Palin, the world according to Jayne '40-18½-36' Mansfield is my kinda world!

First she treks to Rome, followed by a herd of horny men pinchin' her ass while she's babblin' on about the Colloseum, her nude Playboy pics, gladiators, orgies mixed with Hercules footage!?! Then Cannes gets the bombshell treatment as our bikini Jayne (VA VA VOOOOM!) walks the beaches ("smallest bikinis in the world") and starts twistin' to "Bird's The Word" performed by a cool black R&B combo. She goes on a boattrip and strip nude and confesses:

"I'm basically very shy!"

And on and on this relentless busty 'love crusade' goes. Hookers, midgets, Paris, dragqueens, gays'n'dykes ("I'm just too darn confused!" poor little thing), Mickey Hagitay, strippers, footage from PROMISES, PROMISES and PRIMITIVE LOVE.....and bloody pics of her fatal car crash in 1967!?!

Now, where's my time machine?

Fading sex goddess Jayne Mansfield takes a Mondo Cane-type tour of Europe, meeting male hustlers, transvestites, strippers, nudists, topless girl bands, and other colorful types along the way.

Filmed mostly in 1964 but not released until after Jayne's horrific death (and padded with a lot of footage from such Mansfield epics as "The Loves of Hercules" and "Primitive Love"), this deliriously tasteless travelogue was optimistically heralded by Jayne in one of her fan club newsletters as a sequel of sorts to Elizabeth Taylor's famed television tour of London. However, one can hardly imagine the then-Mrs. Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton doing the twist to "The Bird's the Word," much less visiting underground drag nightclubs.

Adding to the weirdness is the fact that "Jayne"'s narration is supplied by a voice double, and in a few new scenes shot from behind, a body double is used as well (apparently, also to pad out the film's length). In fact, such lengthy scenes as the Drag Queen Beauty Contest seem to have been filmed after Jayne's death, with inserts of Jayne's "reactions" to the show edited in.

Never fear, though, because plenty of the real Mansfield form is on display. In Cannes, she prances around in a bikini, then doffs the top for a trip to a nudist colony ("Gee, I hope nobody's watching!" Jayne's voice over simpers). In Paris, Jayne visits a massage parlor/tanning salon and is generously oiled down. And for those who missed them the first time around, the bathtub scene from "Promises! Promises!" and the striptease from "Primitive Love" are spliced in for good measure. (Jayne having "daydreams" in Rome leads to a few choice snippets of "The Loves of Hercules," as well!)

The crazed one-liners attributed to "Jayne" throughout the film have to be more inane than anything that would've ever actually issued from Mansfield's mouth (on the Eiffel Tower: "Gee, I hope nobody tears it down and builds a parking lot!").

To top everything off, the film suddenly ends with screeching tire noises, a simulated car crash, and then gruesome police photos of Mansfield's fatal car accident (including her corpse and that of her chihauhau!). Then, a grotesquely tacky epilogue unfurls of ex-Mr. Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, sadly touring the Pink Palace, playing the pink grand piano, and displaying the famed Wall of Magazine Covers. A supremely smarmy narrator intones, "A pair of shoes wait by the heart shaped bed...who will fill those shoes?", as the camera pans on a pair of Jayne's stilletos!

As horrifying as this film sounds, no doubt Jayne would have been delighted with her cinematic send-off. Her legacy of bad taste lives on to this day, and it is as jaw-dropping and mind-reeling as in 1967.

Oh my GOD! What an AMAZING movie! "The Wild, Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield" is an exploitation movie lover's dream come true! When i first saw this, my jaw DROPPED to the floor in utter amazement! As soon as I heard the zippy little title music and cheesy-cute opening credits, I had a feeling this was going to be interesting...but I was completely caught off guard when the breathy narrator announced "Hi! I'm Jayne Mansfield" while watching grainy black & white footage of Jayne in Rome! WHAT!!???!!! The movie proceeded from there and I was stunned by the audacity of the filmmakers as they carve out a pseudo mondo movie out of literally NOTHING!!!

This movie was made AFTER Jayne was dead. Whoever put it together was a GENIUS and deserved an Oscar or SOMETHING! What you get are, what appear to be, HOME MOVIES of Jayne on vacation in Europe, a wonderfully FAKE Jayne Mansfield narrator, an obvious stand in (especially noticeable in the early black and white scenes where she's walking down the Via Veneto in Rome, looking through the Playboy magazine, and entering her hotel), shamelessly silly nudie filler scenes (which are all connected via "Jayne's" ditzy explanations), etc!

You will HOWL with laughter as Jayne, on a nudist island off of the coast of France, splashes her toes in a stream. The cool water running over her toes reminds her of other times and other feet! WHAT!?! Yes, she has segued into a memory of a risqué theater performance where only feet are on stage! It's tacky stuff...but for a memory, it's strange that Jayne is NO WHERE to be seen!

While in Paris, follow Jayne, on the top of the Arch de Triumph, as she takes a secret passage that leads into Paris' swinging underground nightclub for transvestites! (You enter from the top of the Arch de Triumph? HUH?? Whatever...) Then, marvel as Jayne, with amazing bionic-like super vision, spys on couples fooling around in a hotel room, a park, etc all from the top of the Effeil Tower with her naked eyes!

There's also a drag queen competition that Jayne is supposed to be attending. There is one quick flash of her seated in a booth...but it does NOT seem likely it's the same place. For all we know, it could have been film of her having a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny's or something, very craftily spliced into the other scene!

The most shocking and painfully funny bit, has the camera filming from a car's point of view. Suddenly, the car seems to loose control! There is the screeching of breaks on the asphalt, and the car/camera go careening toward some trees! EEK! We then cut away to REAL photographs of Jayne's deadly automobile accident. She slammed into a big truck. Here in the heck is the TREE we, the audience as Jayne, just slammed into? And before you can look away from the crash shots, we are suddenly getting a tour of the inside of Jayne's gaudy mansion (with it's heart shaped pool, sink, and bed) by Jayne's ex-husband Mickey Hargitay!! (Does that place still exist as is? Man, I'd LOVE to see it! It's incredibly TACKY!!!)

There is just SO MUCH this movie throws at you---it's stupdefyingly bizarre!

I LOVE it! You get an interview with a supposed Jayne Mansfield look-a-like female impersonator, a topless female band performing, a best-breasts competition, and strip-tease lessons! There are also film clips of Jayne in "The Many Loves of Hercules", "Primitive Love", and nude in "Promises Promises"! Although the film gets a bit bogged down with all of the topless filler towards the end (did they run out of cutting room floor clips of Jayne??), it's still an amazing cinematic achievement. The filmmakers have literally taken NOTHING and created a mondo MESS-terpiece of exploitation genius! Jayne would have been proud!