'It's Alive!'

This film was included on a DVD along with another wretched American-International release, YEAR 2889. Both were made by a company called Azalea Pictures--who produced only about a dozen films and several of them were even worse than these two!! MARS NEED WOMEN and ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS actually manage to be even worse!! Of the two film on the disk, IT'S ALIVE is definitely the better film--but this is like comparing the Black Plague to Ebola--they're both rather nasty!

A couple from New York gets lost in the Ozarks (that probably happens all the time) and wander down the wrong road. When they meet up with a guy who offers to help, he turns out to be a maniac who wants to feed him to his "pet"--a primordial creature who is seemingly indestructible. Most of the film they are kept locked in a cave and it does manage to have some genuinely scary moments--until you see the creature! Instead of causing panic or screams, most who see it would probably laugh out loud as it looks as if they spent about $30 assembling a costume out of stuff they found lying around the house or in a junk shop! It's too bad, as apart from the 'monster', the film has a scary atmosphere and a certain low-budget charm. In particular, the first victim of the monster is someone who is such a jerk that the audience will no doubt enjoy this scene much more than if it had just been the stereotypical victim. Still, this isn't enough to salvage the film. It still has the look of a 4th-rate drive-in film--the type movie that makes Roger Corman's old horror films look like classics!

Worth a peek if you are a fan of bad films--otherwise see it at your own risk.

In yet another Larry Buchanan Z-grade train-wreck of a movie, "It's Alive" is about three people who get lost and wind up as captives of a deranged farmer. The whacko farmer locks them up in his cave exhibition, along with his lizard-man monster, to be served up as dinner for the farmer's green man-beast critter.

How is it that Larry Buchanan funded these rabidly bad movies? As with other films he directed, "It's Alive" suffers from bad dialog, bad acting, bad editing, bad lighting, bad stock music... you name it, it's bad. So bad that it's strangely fun to watch, though. It has a lot of the same themes as Manos: The Hands of Fate but it isn't nearly as mind-numbingly painful as Manos. If you're into bad sci-fi / horror flicks like me, then by all means waste an hour and a half of your life and watch "It's Alive". It's too bad they didn't have the Razzy Awards back in 1969 - Larry Buchanan would have certainly been a contender for worst director.

This movie was extremely disturbing to me when I first saw it as a kid. Early 70's, late night "Creature Features"! The stock music that Larry Buchanan always used in his movies contributed a lot. But what really disturbed me the most was Billy Thurman's loony character. He physically resembled an uncle of mine! That was really creepy! Considering my uncle is a nice guy. The monster was hokey as hell, but still creeped me out.(Hey! I was 10 years old!) The real monster though, was Bill Thurman's character. He played it with his usual "intensity", and it was scary! No, it will never go down in history as a "classic", but I would like to have it on DVD, to bring back that 10 year old. Just so he can laugh at it now!

Despite its promising title, "IT'S ALIVE!" is dead on arrival. This late sixties TV creature feature opens with five full minutes of driving footage. Inside the car, outside of the car, just a bunch of driving. It tries to salvage the viewers' interest with an ominous voice-over narration that rambles about rain and sunshine. In the middle of this meaningless driving montage, we're treated to the opening credits where I discovered the one interesting thing about this movie. There's a paleontology credit, and it's attributed to Skip Frazee. A quick glimpse at Mr. Frazee's background and we see he was a sound engineer in the production world with no other paleontological credits before or after "IT'S ALIVE!". This makes sense because the movie's paleontology is limited to the revelation that the creature is a dinosaur and it should've gone extinct 65 million years ago. Good job. When the movie finally kicks into gear, we're introduced to the world's most irritating married couple, Norman (Corveth Ousterhouse) and Leilla (Shirley Boone) Sterns. The two are travelling across the country by car because Leilla loves to see America up close, and Norman never refrains from an opportunity to tell her how much he hates it. With night closing in and the gas tank nearly empty, Norman and Leilla are forced to pull into isolated reptile house tourist attraction in the middle of the woods. Here we're introduced to Greely (Bill Thurman) and his downtrodden housekeeper Bella (Annabelle Weenick), who harbor a deadly secret.

It doesn't take long for things to get weird around the Greely home. He acts shady from the moment he meets the miserable couple and, despite their bad feelings about their situation, they agree to a tour of Greely's "serpetorium". Greely runs a crappy little zoo that might've charmed mid-twentieth century America but has fallen out of favor since a new highway derailed his business. He's proud of his little operation, explaining that he caught all of the animals himself (where'd he catch a monkey in middle America?). His pride and joy rests deep underground in a cavern and he invites the couple down to view it, but surprise! It's a trap. Norman and Leilla find themselves imprisoned in the cavern with helpful paleontologist Wayne (Tommy Kirk), who had been taken captive when he stopped by Greely's to check in on the Sterns' auto troubles. Wayne plots their escape while Norman continues to prattle about how stupid he believes his wife to be, and the trio explore deeper into the cavern where they encounter Greely's favorite pet: a "dinosaur" monster. This monster costume is priceless. Wayne tries to identify the dinosaur species but it was nothing I'm familiar with and I'm sure it was bogus. The creature is your typical rubber suit, but it's got bulbous ping-pong ball eyes and rubber teeth that wobble and bounce in all directions. It shambles toward its victims and, since its face can't articulate, it kills them off screen and we're spared the action.

When that monster appeared, my views on this movie pulled a total about-face. I was willing to forgive the driving montage and unlikeable characters if this monster was going to go on a murder spree. But it never does. It takes its victim and then disappears back into its mud puddle until the final moments of the film. The remaining forty minutes are filler and garbage with yet another driving montage (not as long as the first) and then more than twenty minutes of flashing back to when Bella was taken captive. We spend a sizeable chunk of this crappy movie learning how Bella was a teacher who had the bad fortune to stop at Greely's and became his tormented house slave. None of it has anything to do with the dinosaur monster. Excuse me, "IT'S ALIVE" and director Larry Buchanan, but we came for the dinosaur monster. Give us the dinosaur monster and stop wasting our time. Maybe instead of unnecessary backstory, we could've used that time to show an escape attempt or something to up the tension. There are at least two occasions when Wayne, Leilla, and Norman could've jumped Bella (if she was uncooperative) and escaped through the access hatch she uses in the house's cellar. No, their plans are way more stupid. "IT'S ALIVE!" is seventy-five minutes of mindless filler with maybe (if I'm being generous) five minutes of worthwhile content. The dinosaur is severely underused, the characters are morons, and we didn't get nearly enough of Greely's fantastic maniacal laughter. That laugh and the dinosaur costume are the only reasons anyone should try and watch this movie, and there's barely enough of either in there to justify it.

It's Alive is sitting with a horrifically low IMDB rating and when you see the goofy ping pong eyed monster you can entirely understand why.

However, I kind of enjoyed it. And here is where my clear weird taste in movies comes in.

It tells the story of a couple who while driving through the country become lost and seek assistance from a man who runs an obscure show full of various animals on display. When he offers them a tour things turn bad and the man shows his true colours.

The creature though ridiculous looking is barely on screen and that is certainly in the movies favour. Instead we're treated to more of a psychological game between the captor and captives and I found myself fairly engrossed.

Flawed? Absolutely, but I enjoyed it regardless.

The Good:

Overall well constructed

The Bad:

That monster, really?

Some of the music was a tad overwhelming

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Unless told men do not know that lack of food results in death