Malenka

The Spanish vampire 'classic' Malenka plays like a Mel Brooks parody of a Gothic horror movie, only much funnier. It stars the inimitable Anita Ekberg in two roles. As Italian supermodel Sylvia Morel, who (out of the blue) inherits a creepy old castle in Transylvania. As her villainous ancestress Malenka, a witch whose experiments in black magic cast a sinister shadow over the living and the undead. It seems that Malenka, in her depravity, turned most of her family into vampires. They now long for nothing more than La Ekberg to share their evil fate.

Families, eh? Without the hilarity of Ekberg's performance, Malenka would be a paltry thing indeed. The lovely Anita does not act as mere mortals do. She purrs, she pouts, she preens, she struts, she flounces. She gnaws away at her risible dialogue as though every line had been honed in her honour by Tennesee Williams or Edward Albee, at the very least. Her wardrobe is atrocious as only a 60s Bad Euro Movie wardrobe could ever be. Faced with a display of camp diva-dom this extreme, female impersonators can only hang up their wigs and admit defeat!

Not content with one Superlatively Awful Performance, Malenka also throws in Julian Ugarte as poor Sylvia's wicked uncle. Aided by two leggy vampire lovelies, he attacks his role with sneering, lip-curling sadism that would make Basil Rathbone blush for shame! This is all to the good, as Malenka grows insufferably dull whenever Ekberg or the baddies are off-screen. Director Armando de Ossorio may in fact have some flair for wide-screen composition, but my Dutch video copy is so horribly panned-and-scanned it's hard to tell.

Such minor quibbling aside, Malenka survives as an object lesson in Why We Love Bad Movies. Teamed with Ekberg's 1978 horror opus Killer Nun, it could be the comedy double bill of all time.

While not a completely horrid movie watching experience for the most part I have to say this film is just does not pack enough bite. I own this movie in a pack with like a bunch of other horror movies. I did not know what to expect with this one, but I did not have high hopes thanks to its PG rating. When it first came on and it was a couple of guys in a office I was thinking "maybe it will not be so bad, at least they are not in a castle". It is not to long after that the fiancé of one of the guys inherits a castle and that made me think that it we are about to venture into the old castle foray that was so prevalent during this time period. Lady goes to place, town full of superstitious people, and then she meets her mysterious uncle who does not come out till after dark. Basically your standard plot for this type of movie. When her fiancé comes looking for her after she writes a letter breaking off the engagement it livens up the film a bit, but not enough to totally save it, rather he makes it a tolerable piece to watch. There are twists at the end, some of which left me confused on some points and the final scene was a tad strange as they threw in some comedy near the end that seemed out of place considering the first bit was devoid of any attempts at humor. There is not much gore and absolutely no skin (it is a PG film), but you do get to see a lot of cleavage and cute outfits so a plus on that front. Basically a retelling of Dracula in some ways that had some good moments and while overall it needed lots of work it also did not bore me at any time either.

"Fangs of the Living Dead" or "Malenka" (depending on which version) is a decent film of the genre. Some of the cast actually starred in "Frankenstein's Bloody Terror": Julian Ugarte, Rosanna Yanni and Carlos Casaravilla. Anita Ekberg is passable as Silvia Morel, a model who inherits a castle. Come to find out, her uncle is a vampire and he has plans for Silvia to join him. The question I have about the ending is what happens to the two vampire chicks at the end? This may be an edited version that leaves out the answer. The acting is decent but the dubbing isn't very good. The sets and backdrops are almost the equal of Hammer studios. Rosanna Yanni and Diana Lorys are very beautiful. The character of Pietro's friend provides comic relief-he really stands out in this film. This is worth viewing at least once.

FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD (1969) * Anita Ekberg, Julián Ugarte, Gianni Medici, Diana Lorys. In this 1969 film by Amando de Ossorio (Tombs of the Blind Dead) Ekberg plays an Italian fashion model who inherits a creepy Spanish castle, only to learn that her ancestors were vampires. The sets and costumes are beautiful, but can't compensate for the stiff performances, poor dubbing and slow pacing. Avoid the Retromedia DVD version. Even though it purports to be the 88-minute "Americanized" version of the film, it's only 74 minutes and appears to be an edited-for-television version.

There are at least three prints of this film running loose these days ... Readers should NOT let the negative nellies dissuade them from seeking this film out -- it is a marvelous little bit of Eurotrash from one of the genre's finest directors when he was just flexing his muscles.

Most literature I have encountered on MALENKA agree that Ossorio's main inspriration was THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS aka DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES, but he injected the film with a decidedly Medeterranian air that caught on: In many circles, it is considered classic must-have required viewing at the Academy, Mr Spock kind of stuff.

BUT, you need to select your home viewing version carefully -- of the three most common forms that exist, the most familiar to us in America is a 75 - 80m "public domain" print that used to run on TV a lot, with the vampire chasing ending in place ... we have all seen it at one time or another. Then there is a second 96 - 98 minute European cut exported from Holland in the late 1980's -- it contains some additional "scientific" scenes and other dialogue, but NOT the gag ending with the vampire chasing Rosanna Yanni. The recommended version is actually out on DVD right now at places like Amazon under the name FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD and released by a smallish company called Retromedia who "restored" a widescreen uncut British print for their DVD; uncut meaning that some of the slower scenes trimmed from the 80m public domain print are still in place.

What makes their DVD really come to life, though, is the care that went into making the print look good again. And after so many years of dingy, sepia rotted TV prints you will be shocked at what a beautiful, HARMLESS and fun movie this is -- I'd rather watch MALENKA with my eyes held open by toothpicks than ever have to sit through garbage like INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, DRACULA 2000 or FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA PRESENTS BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA: A FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA FILM ever again. Gawd ...