Uchû daikaijû Girara

Toy rockets can't stop him. Toy tanks won't stop him. Not even toy airplanes can stop him. Brazenly campy and unabashedly silly, this movie offers no disguise for its lunacy, but rather exalts in its cheesiness. It boasts one of the most absurd looking monsters ever, who you can't help but love because of his ludicrous appearance.

The script goes to great lengths to explain the origin of the creature, so the movie drags a little at first. The first part is some horsing around aboard a spacecraft, on a mission to Mars. The ship is buzzed by a UFO, and the crew responds with a perplexing lackadaisical attitude like it happens every day. They divert to an established Moon base after the UFO just wanders off for some reason.

You have to wait a while to see the creature, named Guilala , but it's well worth the wait. He's part chicken, part dinosaur, and has what appears to be a snorkel coming out of his forehead. He has beaming red eyes, and the best of all: two wire antennae that wobble around like those wire things with balls on the end you wear on your head if you're going as a bumblebee or something like that for Halloween. Of course, he goes on a rampage in Tokyo, shrieking like a banshee the whole time, as he smashes buildings and other stuff.

The human characters are developed pretty well, and the actors actually appear to be taking their roles seriously. As ridiculous as the script is, the characters actually have believable personalities and back stories. There's an odd triangle, with two beauties named Michiko and Lisa both after Capt. Sanu, who just grunts when they talk to him.

Fans of insanely cheesy camp will love this one; it's just utter craziness all the way.

Oh this one was pretty bad, flat and low budget the first 45 minutes, with the highlight being a sinister Pumpkin Pie in outers space(!!) harrassing our sturdy tinfoil ship and its crew. Then you get to the chase, with the giant Aquatic chicken/lizard/guinea hen letting loose on poor old back-lot Japan.

Bad miniatures, bad sound, the three Caucasians are guys we might be intended to identify with ala Raymond Burr in the first Godzilla, but don't you believe it-Franz Gruber looks like a 6 foot Gary Owens from Laugh-in with a Chermann accent, the other two are crosses between Buddy Hackett and Dick York. Peggy Neal has the Angie Dickinson bit down too.

Your Japanese cast are all kinda interchangable, none of them any threat to Tishiro Mifune's reputation. The F/X are lousy, the dialogue and dubbing grade Z.

My fave parts? Besides the attack of the giant Pie? Where do I begin? There's the demo of the Moon's low gravity, showcased by two actors on trampolines in space suits, the trampolines hidden behind a 'crater edge'. The flaming bubbles the monster spits out at the world's worst Tank and plane miniatures. The great chase where two guys in a yellow-green jeep, pulling a trailer carrying a 'cargo of radiation'-filing cabinet with a radiation insignia on its side-race '80'mph down the road, while the 200 foot(100 foot? seems to chage size...)monster kinda shuffles after them, one big rubber paw waving ineffectively at the guy holding the 'Cargo box' and the driver putting the pedal to the metal. You don't for a second believe that the shufflin' X from Outer Space can catch up and grab'em, but he/it/she does. Riot! You also have a funny scene where at Army Headquarters, they show a guy on a step ladder, moving a little X from Outer Space Magnet from one town to another along a wall-map...Oh Lord. That one had me rolling in the aisles.....Then there is the obligatory stomp through the city, where these rubber suited guys always seem to concentrate on poorly made power line miniatures-after which you get the grand finale. They spray some white foam on the X from Outer Space, from a series of straffing runs-the X nailing a few last jets for good measure before being encased in the goo and making like the melting Stay Puff Marshmallow man of Ghostbusters. They then fling the little white sporestone essence of the X into orbit around the Sun, while Peggy Neal and Co. wax philosophic about how Monsters have rights too...Very, Very hard to keep a straight face while watching this one. If MST3K never did it, you have to say what a shame. The movie was a target and then some for Cro and the boys.

What more is there to be said? Sheer incompetance, bad acting, poor F/X....this gets a star for chutzpah and another half for the Villainous Pie.

*1/2 outta ****-if you like bad rubber suited monster movies, this is for you. Just don't say you haven't been warned.

Though a bit slow at the beginning, THE X FROM OUTER SPACE is one of those over-the-top silly Japanese monster movies that they just don't make anymore and is totally fun to watch because you can't believe how silly everything is. The film is very juvenile and was most likely made for 5 year old kids more than anyone else.

If you listen to the dialogue at the beginning of the film, when the astronauts are introduced, there are a lot of double entendres to be heard, like when the man tells a grinning Lisa (Peggy Neal) "However, you are to touch nothing unless specifically authorised by the Captain Sano." ARF!!! I wonder if the folks who dubbed the film deliberately made it sound so funny.

The scene on the moon or in space are pretty much pointless but they're funny nonetheless. The best thing in the movie is the monster itself, Guilala (what a sad name for a monster!). When Guilala attacks, it walks about like a drunken fool, as if it got no clue of what it was doing. Maybe the guy in the suit couldn't keep his balance because the models were so cheap and fragile. The monster's roar was really funny to hear. Like someone clearing his throat. When Guilala shoots its fireballs, it looks like he's burping them out. The whole moment when the monster destroys a building and Lisa gets trapped beneath some rubble, they make a big deal about the fact that her leg is trapped and she's in pain is priceless because soon afterwards, she walks about like nothing had happened. Another great scene is when Guilala runs after a truck. It's laugh out loud funny. But the really goofy thing about this film is how fast the characters go from the earth to the moon, and vice versa. It's like the moon was only a couple of miles away and as easy to access as the nearest shopping mall.

But the film is not all goofiness. When the monster turns into a fireball and flies about Japan, destroying everything in its path, well, the film sorta becomes cool for a fraction of a second. And the ending, when the monster is attacked for the last time, well, I felt bad for the poor old space chicken! But the producers set it up so a sequel was possible. Where's the sequel? I want to see Guilala battle Baragon. BTW, the container which holds tiny Guilala at the end looks like a camping lamp.

The worst thing about THE X FROM OUTER SPACE is the music. Aside from the fun song, the actual music used when the monster attacks is basically the same thing played repeatedly over and over. It gets really tiresome.

Mexico has its Masked Wrestlers and Japan has its Rubber-Suited Monsters vs The Toys.

What makes this one Different, or as Different as these Things can be, is that here We have some Space Travel, UFOs (Flying Saucer/Omelette), a Tall Blonde Japanese Astronaut/Scientist, and a Bobble-Headed Antenna Alien the Size of, well Godzilla.

The Laughs come Fast and Everyone Enjoying this Hootenanny have Their Favorite Lines, Scenes, and Absurdities. The Music for Example has Many "Fans". The Trampoline Mars Surface Dance also gets some Ink.

But here's one that doesn't get Mentioned that often...How about that Great Scene with the Wall Map and the Very Serious Guy on the Mobile Ladder that moves the Refrigerator Monster Magnet around as the Havoc Ensues with Radioactive Cloud Bursts Trailing in His Wake. Priceless.

Overall, as Hilarious as these Japanese Monster Movies are (almost ALL of them), it should be Pointed Out that these Genre Giants Made Money in their Day and were mostly "In Production" for Decades and are Still Talked About with Unbridled Enthusiasm (Criterion) Today.

Above Average because it is Absolutely Absurd as many of the Type are Only just Absurd.

Note...If you get bored...count the number of times AAAA-B-Gamma is said...You'll need a clicker.

Which is where they seemingly pulled this mess. A space ship on its way to Mars picks up some spores on its hull. Of course, Man being Man, the spores are brought back to earth. Funny how guys returning from, say, Africa have to pass through Customs and then through a medical quarantine, but some space spore is carried right to Earth. Needless to say, contact with Earth's atmosphere causes the spore to become Guilala (where do they come up with these names?!), a cross between a giant chicken and a dinosaur. It is a lively monster, though. You can see the spring in its step when its trashing Tokyo.

The movie has the usual trademarks of Japanese monster films -- bad dialogue (Peggy Neal's "Monsters have rights" speech ranks up there with Peter Graves' "Man has a responsibility" speech from "It Conquered The World"); atrocious dubbing (why do they dub American actors' voices); cheap special effects, and unintentional comedy. For instance, Peggy Neal, an actress who unwisely used Japan as a starting point for a failed movie career, and a Japanese astronaut (Eija Okada, sadly far removed from brilliant films like "Hiroshima, Mon Amour") bounce across the moon. You can almost see the trampolines. Another time, as Guilala moves across the countryside, a soldier on a ladder moves a cardboard cutout of the monster across a map. It reminds me of "Varan, The Unbelievable" when the army comes up with a detailed miniature model of Varan for their strategy board only minutes after the monster first appears.

The miniatures tanks and jets are sub-par even for Japanese films. In one scene, a jet gets taken out and hits the water, looking about as large as an oil tanker.

The funniest part of the movie, aside from the annoying theme song ("Stars are our destiny..."), is the monster. It looks as if the monster suit is a size too large for the actor inside. Guilala shoots fireballs so fake-looking you can almost see the strings guiding them towards the tanks and jets. The monster smashes through the cheap cardboard city buildings a little too quickly (obviously the director didn't know that slowing the film speed a little would have helped). It's roar is, at first, laughable, then, finally, just plain irritating. There's a scene later where Guilala chases after a jeep hauling a trailer full of radioactive material. The jeep's doing about 80 and Guilala's running after it in slow-motion (not the slow-mo like "Six Million Dollar Man," but as if the actor was being told to walk oddly to avoid catching up to the jeep too quickly).

I saw this film on "Creature Double Feature," a hugely popular syndicated sci-fi/horror anthology popular in the 1970's and early 80's (wow, I'm getting old). I watched it just for the laughs when I was only seven, so that shows how bad the film is if it can't get past a child.