Catalina Caper

For starters, I usually don't watch Tommy Kirk movies. Most of us who have seen this piece of celluloid dung saw it on MST3K. When Volume 1 came out and included the films without the running commentary, I decided to see how bad some of these things actually are. My God what a fool I was.

The "plot" here is that some thieves decided to pull a bait and switch using a stolen scroll on some rich guy. The scroll gets lost due to incompetence while they're showing the goods to the rich guy's lackey. This could be a poor plot (not good, but would suffice to make a B movie) except for the fact that they decided to throw in a bunch of kids who get mixed up in the whole thing. Between the lousy music (Little Richard did OK, but the others were terrible), dancing, scuba footage, and attempts to develop love interests there should be something holding this together besides bad jokes and a loose caper "plot." On top of all of this, the "talent" seemed to not really care what was going on, so the results are predictably crappy.

For God's sake, don't watch without MST3K.

I could not imagine watching this without Joel and the bots.

Tommy Kirk acts like he'd prefer to be anywhere else. A cameo by Little Richard does nothing for his career. The music is awful, the dialogue terrible, and the plot (something about a stolen painting and a lot of young girls in bikinis) was incoherent. A real stinker.

You'd have to be out of your mind or detached from all common sense to find some redeeming value in this clunker. The plot seems to concern guys, girls, sand, a scroll and Mork & Mindy's Exidor doing pratfalls. Oh, and there are musical numbers, many musical numbers. These elements are strung together very loosely to form some sort of plot, but what's there on screen will make you scratch your head. Little Richard pops up and sings a catchy little dittie and shows everyone else involved what talent is. Best part of the film is when all the girls slap all of the guys and storm off. The next scene is a musical number and then everything is forgotten! Oh to be young and foolish and working on a beach picture. Mary Wells sings the title song "Never Steal Anything Wet."

By itself, CATALINA CAPER is a fourth-rate beach party flick with a few pleasant but forgettable rock songs (including one by Little Richard, of all people!) and a lame art heist plot grafted on. As an episode of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 with ribbing by Joel Hodgson & Co. that's far more funny and clever than anything screenwriter Clyde Ware came up with, it's a scream! Just goes to show you *can* satirize comedy if you're talented enough! Tommy Kirk tries real hard to act like a romantic leading man, but even Cary Grant would have a tough time in this melted marshmallow of a movie. And hey, is Del Moore, The Man Who Would Be Jack Benny, actually durable character actor Max Showalter, a.k.a. Casey Adams? Sure looks like him! Anyway, this movie has some nifty eye candy in the form of babes of both genders in show-stopping swimsuits (swimsuit designer Anne Cole is the *real* star of this movie, if you ask me), but it's best seen and enjoyed accompanied by the MST3K gang's zingers.

This movie has very little going for it besides the performance of Tommy Kirk, the funny hat that chubby comedy-relief guy wears, and the cinematography of Ted V. Mikels. But it does has an ace up its sleeve - Robert Donner!

Yes, Robert Donner, that renowned character actor justly beloved for his roles as Yancey Tucker on "The Waltons" and Exidor on "Mork and Mindy". However, the movie's makers, apparently afraid that Mr. Donner, with his overwhelmingly dignified presence, would steal the show from the "stars", forced him to make a series of embarrassing and incredibly forced pratfalls. Oh, the ignominy of it all!