The Corpse Grinders

"She loved that old tomcat.Yes she did." Too bad Annie's old tomcat was fed Lotus cat food. Made from the ground flesh of corpses, Lotus cat food is the product of a greedy plot to make easy money from cat owners looking to feed their cats. But, the trouble (according to the doctor's encyclopedia entry about flesh-eating cats)is that the cats fed the Lotus cat food become accustomed to the taste of ground human flesh, and quit hunting the flesh of faster animals. Makes sense to me. Cats begin attacking humans in the town, leaping into the neck, and shredding the flesh. Oddly, the cats refrain from actually eating the humans,or even making much of a mess of the corpses by, say, drinking the blood or something, contrary to the explanation given by the encyclopedia article.

Corpse Grinders is a good film. Any movie with the following elements can't be too bad: every character lacks peripheral vision (such a common affliction among characters in B films); the batty wife of one of the racketeers tenderly cares for a pint sized baby doll while complaining of bodies piling up in the living room; the pointless inclusion of a mute chick with a crutch and the miraculous ability to communicate using pidgin sign language; and the music from Blood Feast playing during a rather Blood Feast-like killing scene. However, the film is kind of lacking imagination. Despite the couple of odd characters, it's pretty straight forward camp. Still, I'd rather watch this than countless other films. Also, if you're watching the DVD version, make sure to sit through the (brief) credits in order to see the awesome trailer, which I would give 10/10, if I could rate it alone.

THE CORPSE GRINDERS is a film that wallows in its own cheesyness, and that's meant as a compliment! On a bigger budget it would have been just another lackluster horror flick, but with its meager budget the premise works. Seems a maker of pricey gourmet cat food needs a cheap ingredient source and turns to buying corpses from a corrupt gravedigger. The cats who eat the food turn psycho and attack their human masters and eat their flesh. A doctor and his blonde nurse play detectives and try to find out why the cats are attacking. The acting is pretty lame coming from some of the actors(the guy playing Landau, the head procurer of corpses for the cat food people, seems to think menace can be conveyed by whispering in a flat monotone), and the corpse grinding machine looks like it was constructed by 8th graders, but the real joy of this film is Ann Noble, writer and star of the film SINS OF RACHEL, as the gravedigger's wigged-out(and bewigged)wife. Noble wanders in and out of the movie, toting a grimy, naked doll that she talks to and feeds soup, and ultimately meets an untimely end at the hands of Landau and his crony. An odd character in a film otherwise populated by standard types.

The Corpse Grinders is about as cheap and gritty as you'd expect, which is actually the best thing I can say about it. Even the worst low budget films of this era have that cheesy charm built into the celluloid itself.

As best I can figure out, The Corpse Grinders is about people who use human bodies to make cat food and then the cats that eat it turn into bloodthirsty monsters, attacking people at random as two boring scientist-type people try to figure it out.

The acting is as awful as you'd imagine, there's no pace to speak of, and at less than 75 minutes, it feels like it's at least an hour too long. Most of the film isn't even enjoyable on a "so bad, it's good" level. Don't waste your time.

I was almost going to totally write off Ted V. Mikels as one of the most talentless and boring directors of all time after watching his tedious turkeys 'Blood Orgy Of The She Devils' and 'The Doll Squad'. But after watching 'The Corpse Grinders' I'm now not so sure. This is arguably his best known movie, and the thing is it's actually quite good! Not "great" or "hilarious fun" mind you, but "quite good", and for him, that's high praise indeed. It's cheap, tacky and amateurishly acted, but strangely entertaining just the same. A doctor and his nurse girlfriend (Sean Kenney and Monika Kelly) investigate a spate of cat attacks (!) which they suspect has something to do with gourmet cat food. And it does, but in not exactly the most obvious way. This is a very stupid movie but surprisingly enjoyable, especially when you see that it was co-written by Arch Hall Jr, of 'Eegah' infamy! The best parts for me are the cat attacks, which have to be seen to be believed, and the oddball bodysnatchers played by Warren Ball (Caleb) and Ann Noble (Cleo), who are both wacky and creepy. I can't hardly believe I'm typing this, but I actually LIKED 'The Corpse Grinders', and I recommend it to trash lovers, especially fans of (early) Roger Corman and Herschell Gordon Lewis.

If you love low-budget movies from the '60s and '70s, especially ones with bizarre story-lines and characters, then The Corpse Grinders is a must-see. The concept of the movie is much cooler than the actual movie itself, but that's what makes it fun.

Cats begin attacking their owners, and a doctor and his nurse girlfriend (who both look and act like they are straight out of a vintage porno) suspect the Lotus Cat Food Company for being responsible for the grisly accounts. Meanwhile, the owners of the Company are making numerous trips to the cemetery to spice up their ingredients, and their income.

Not much suspense going on--but bad acting, almost-nude girls, and cool Halloween-ish graveyard mist keep you watching, even if you are getting anxious to get up and actually put your mind to doing something useful.