Something Big

RELEASED IN 1971 and directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, "Something Big" is a tongue-in-cheek Western starring Dean Martin as aging outlaw, Joe Baker, who unknowingly kidnaps the wife (Honor Blackman) of a cavalry commander (Brian Keith) in order to obtain a Gatling gun from a scumbag gunrunner (Albert Salmi). Ben Johnson plays a scout while Carol White appears as the wannabe fiancé of Baker.

The title refers to 'something big' that Joe Baker is supposed to do before retiring from outlawry with several of the characters citing the line; a quaint idea, but it's not funny and gets old after a while. The opening act is a dud with nothing stimulating happening to draw the viewer into the story. There are several curious props (a skeleton, a dog, bagpipes and a peg leg), but they fail to stir much interest. Things finally perk up in the second half, but not enough to save the movie.

One huge problem is the idea that this antihero we're supposed to like is engaged in something way too unsavory (kidnaping the innocent wife to offer to the odious gunrunner, which amounts to slavery). Martin was able to get away with this type of character in the excellent "Bandolero!" (1968) because his crimes weren't so abhorrent; not so here.

There are some good bits, however, like the two man-hungry women living in the remote wilderness (Joyce Van Patten & Judi Meredith). Nevertheless, it's obvious why "Something Big" has been condemned to cinematic obscurity, never being released to VHS and barely making it to DVD in 2012.

THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour 48 minutes and was shot in Durango, Mexico. WRITER: James Lee Barrett.

GRADE: C

Agreeable but average slice of the Wild West , it deals with two bandoleros who run into trouble with their cavalry counterparts . Dean Martin wants to do 'something big . When he needs a Gatling gun to accomplish this, he seeks out a black marketeer (Albert Salmi) . The price he wants for the gun? A woman! . So Baker (Dean Martin) along with his colleague (Don Knight) abduct a woman (Honor Blackman) off of the stagecoach, only to find that she is the spouse of the commandant (Brian Keith) of the local Cavalry detachment .Things get further complicated when a girl named Dover McBride (Carol White) goes West as he promised to do four years earlier. Sooner or later, Baker will find the right girl. And when he does, he'll swap her for a machine gun. And do something big.Everybody wants to do something big once in his life. It's just that most people don't have to hold up a stagecoach, steal a girl, and swap her for a gun to do it.Baker has the biggest, fastest, gun in the West. See him use it on anything that moves!

A spirited spoof Western with noisy action , shootouts , Indian attacks and humor . The plot is plain and simple , a likeable rogue Bandido kidnaps the wife of a cavalry commander in order to exchange her for a Gatling gun that's being sold by a gun runner . This swinging Western contains some inspired patches of dialogue provided by Western expert writer James Lee Barrett . A gruesome symptom of the death of Western was the ¨Comedy Western¨ sub-genre , a confused , ironical , messy trendy that flourished briefly in the late 60s and early 70s . Occassionaly this sub-genre produced the odd bizarre gem , notably ¨Cat Ballou¨ by Elliott Silversein , ¨Alelujah¨ by John Sturges , ¨There was a crooked man¨ by Joseph L. Mankiewicz , ¨Texas across the river¨ by Michael Gordon , ¨The Good Guys and the Bad Guys¨ by Burt Kennedy , but this was one of the less honorable efforts . Here Dean Martin plays an outlaw in town to give his retiring adversary , Cavalry Colonel Brian Keith , a last , leadenly ironic run for his money . Dean Martin's lazy charm makes him a sympathetic rogue . Martin starred various film for the famous ¨Rat Pack¨, but he also performed various Westerns , such as : Showdown , Five card stud , Bandolero , Round night in Jericho , Texas across the river , Sons of Katie Elder , 4 for Texas and the best : Rio Bravo . There's even room for two English actresses such as the then-trendy starlet Honor Blackman of Goldfinger and Carol White as the beautiful girl who shows up and has come to force Baker to marry her and return east . Typically for the genre, a few known support actors appear , they are around to add incongruity as well as some richly comic lines to deliver , such as : Don Knight , Ben Johnson , Albert Salmi , Merlin Olsen , Robert Donner , Joyce Van Patten , Denver Pyle , Judi Meredith ,David Huddleston , Edward Faulkner , Paul Fix , David Huddleston , Bob Steele and Harry Carey Jr. Some of them are character actors from the world of McLaglen's mentor , John Ford .

It contains a catching and attractive musical score by Marvin Hamlisch . Atmospheric and evocative cinematography in Technicolor and color de Luxe by Harry Stradling J.R , Burt Kennedy's regular . This stirring tale of man bandoleros was professionally directed by Andrew McLagen , , though in fits and starts . He was the son of Ford's stock company stalwart, Victor McLagen. He was born in London but grew up around Hollywood, where his father often took him on movie sets. He learned the art of directing from greats like John Ford, who eventually gave him a job as assistant director on The Quiet man (1952). He holds the distinction of directing the most episodes of Gunsmoke (1955) and of Have gun Will travel (1957) . Being one of the few directors to have directed both Clint Eastwood and John Wayne , including Undefeated (1969) and Chisum (1970). He was a prolific craftsman who made all kinds of genres , such as : Wartime : Dirty dozen next mission, Sea wolves, Breakthrough, Wild geese, The Devil's brigade . Action adventure genre : Sahara , Ffolkes , Mitchell, On wings of eagles . And Western : Shenandoah, The way west , The rare breed, Bandolero, The last hard men , The Blue and the Gray and The shadow riders again with Katharine Ross. The flick will appeal to Dean Martin fans. Ratinf : 5.5/10 . Passable and acceptable . Well worth watching.

Dino must have had fun making this one; lots of great familiar faces in there with him: Brian Keith as the gruff cavalry colonel, Honor Blackman (Bond girl 'Pussy Galore') as the colonel's classy tough-girl wife, Ben Johnson as the laconic cavalry scout, Albert Salmi at his brutish best, Merlin Olsen, Harry Carey Jr., Denver Pyle... and Joyce Van Patten as one of two hilarious man-hungry sisters. It's definitely dated --the 'Indians' especially are pretty embarrassing seen today--, but taken in a light-hearted spirit it's a pretty good ride. I'm sure this is preaching to the choir for those who have fond memories of watching it years ago.

The Marvin Hamlisch score is meant to give it a stylish air, a la Butch and Sundance (we can each judge if we think this succeeds), and Burt Bacharach confected a title song that will either make you smile or cringe, according to your taste. The rating was 'GP', and aside from plenty of casual murder it's not apt to shock too many viewers. The theme of abducting a woman to trade to a sex-starved lowlife (Salmi) for a Gatling gun in order to pillage a Mexican bandido's treasure trove is made to seem somehow sensible, though when the first potential abductee appears and is an amiable and attractive floozy, one is baffled that outlaw Baker (Dino) and his Scottish sidekick (brother of Baker's prissy fiancee) reject her as unsuitable. Well, the plot needed more complications...

Dino's character is supposedly a staid Easterner having a wild fling out West and accomplishing Something Big before settling down to permanent respectability, but come on-- Dino as a staid Easterner?? And we never see any real sign of Mr. Baker's staid side anyway, except in favoring a lady over a floozy (to do a floozy's job). Well, realism isn't the point here, so you might as well just put your brain in neutral and go along with it in the spirit in which it was presented.

I think the only thing that prevents Something Big from being a classic comic western is the awful let down at the end when Dean Martin decides to really do that Something Big he came west from Pennsylvania to do. The shootout at the end if anything is an anti-climax to the wild goings-on that preceded it throughout the movie.

Dean Martin after coming west to seek fame and fortune or at least enough to marry Carol White and support her is the leader of a group of outlaws with Carol's brother Don Knight as his number two. He wants to really make a score, do Something Big before returning to the east and another outlaw Albert Salmi has an interesting proposition for him.

Salmi's been without a woman for way too long now and his sidekick Robert Donner is not one to bring out the love that dare not speak its name. There just ain't too many folks of the female persuasion out in the territory. So if Martin will get him a woman, Salmi can lay his hands on a Gatling Gun to be used in whatever that Something Big scheme will be.

So what does Dino do? He holds up a few stagecoaches and then gets what he considers a proper woman, Honor Blackman famous as Pussy Galore of James Bond fame. The problem there is Dino didn't check her hand for a wedding ring, she's the wife of Brian Keith the commander of the local army post.

Ironically enough this silliness actually works as Brian Keith and chief scout Ben Johnson go searching the territory for Martin and Blackman. The various misadventures of the players goes for most of the film and when Martin does put his big scheme into operation in the last 20 minutes or so of the film, it is so anti-climatic, it's actually a let down.

Something Big is a very funny film for some reason not often shown. All the players do well, but my absolute favorites are Joyce Van Patten, and Judi Meredith the Standish sisters. A pair of frontier widows who really know how to be hospitable to a passing stranger, especially if the stranger is in pants.

Hopefully TCM will get this film and run it and soon.

Sorry markspangler1, but the location wasn't the Superstition Mountains of Arizona, it was filmed just outside Durango, Mexico where lots of western films have been made. Beautiful scenery, mountains and plains, deep blue skies unmarked by jet contrails or fences. Through a chance meeting with Hal Needham, Stunt Coordinator and stunt double for Dean Martin, I was invited on the set during filming. I've always wondered at why it wasn't a more popular film. Great actors, great director in big Andrew McLaglen (the man is BIG!) great scenery and cinematography. My biggest regret was not being on the set when Ben Johnson was on location. Just missed him. He was always one of my favorite actors. Authentic, unpretentious and believable in all his roles. Dean is funny and the dog a real trooper. See this movie if you can.