Up the Chastity Belt

The Queen of England gives birth to twins. In order to protect the blood line one is kept and the other hidden in a pig style and is raised to think it's mother is the pig. Lurkalot is the one raised by pigs who doesn't know his past. He makes a good living as a servant, selling chastity belts on the side. When his master's castle is lost to Sir Braggart de Bombast, Lurkalot must fight to protect his daughter, eventually travelling to the missions to bring back his master. On the mission he uncovers that his twin is Richard the Lionheart and he is of Royal stock and must bring them both back.

The story to this doesn't really matter as it is simply an excuse to hang a pile of crude jokes on. In fact most of the film seems to keep adding things just to keep the film going. The jokes are ok - but it relies on innuendo and crudity too much, whole scenes are devoted to jokes involving the Kama Sutra! I know that this is a film of it's time but there are far too many jokes that smack of not just sexism but also racist overtones.

Howerd is good here - he seems to enjoy the material a lot more than in the terrible Up the Front. True most of the jokes aren't funny but he does seem at ease with the material - but it's never anywhere near his best work. The rest of the cast is made up from the basement of British TV and have the horrible task of acting out this story as straightmen. The only other good role in the film is a cameo by a young Eartha Kitt - she is really sexy here and really beautiful, unfortunately she is only the catalyst for more dirty jokes.

Overall this is a disappointment - it's not as bad as some of his other films but it's a country mile from Howerd at his best. Quite good but not Howerd's best and it's humour has dated really badly.

I think this film is better than Frankie howerds first outing as Lurkio in "Up pompeii". as classic as that film was this one beats it in my opinion. It is rather slow in parts but with excellent character performances by Rita Webb and Hugh paddick and of course Frankie camping it up as Lurkalot ("because I do!") the film is saved as a British classic. lots of setbound filming gives it a special magical feel. This film was cut down from an amazing 3 hour original and Frankie himself wasn't happy with the end result but it has become a classic. Lurkalot, the medieval surf, tries to save his master in a series of funny events only to find out he is in fact the twin brother of King john himself of England (played by..you guessed it! Frankie!) Eartha Kitt makes a purrrfect appearance and the best scene is stolen by Hugh paddick as the campest robin Hood to grace our screens ever, but when Rita webb turns up as maid Marion ("your reputation has spread far and wide...and thats not the only thing by the look of it!") the laughs really begin (as they say) see it once at least its a corny classic!

This film is a vehicle for the comedic talents of Frankie Howerd, and if you like his style of humour, the plot is irrelevant. This is a curiously popular movie (it's almost always available on VHS or DVD) considering that there was no TV series to go with it. It was really an extension of Up Pompeii (many of the same people were involved), and feels like it (Lurcio Lurkalot). Frankie's less well-known "Up the Front" (set in WW1) is hardly ever shown or on tape to buy, and the TV show "Whoops, Bagdad" is all but forgotten (possibly with good reason).

Some of the jokes require a knowledge of the state of Britain in the early 1970s, and even if it isn't politically correct by modern standards, most of the audience will be laughing out of nostalgia rather than the freshness of the material, IMHO. When Howerd turns to camera and says "oh, you know this one, don't you", you know that they are going to do the classic open the door in front of the battering ram joke anyway, even though we're all expecting it by then. Many comedians couldn't have carried it off, but that was the age of "camp" comedy. Today, audiences aren't into "camp", which is why so many younger reviewers on this site fail to understand why these films were meant to be funny. (That's why the movie of "The Avengers" was such a horrible failure.)

It is very much a product of its period, but still worth watching today - if you know how to appreciate it.

Forget about the trendy racist/sexist claims from bob the moo. Everyone and everything is stylized in the movie and it could just as easy be accused of being "kingist" "pigist" "jousterist" etc etc. There is nothing wrong with movie except that it lacks material and is a little boring. Howerd fans will enjoy seeing it. Others will have their curiosity satisfied. Some might find it right on the margin of being a waste of time. It is not as good as Up Pompeii.

The basic plot involves King Richard going off to the crusades, his brother John going to find him, and a servant who helps out the family budget with a chastity belt business, which comes in handy during the search for Richard.

Despite the title, the film would not have any trouble with the censors on the basis of sex or nudity.

A dull spin off of Up Pompei is what we get here Howerd plays Lurk-a-Lot (Get it?) in his usual persona (titter ye not etc.) which would be fine if the jokes weren't so predictable (men charging door with battering ram door being opened, men crashing through window etc.) and plain not funny in places. Up Pompei always worked best as a half hour blast the spin off film failing to maintain the gag count through feature length. This film suffers from being the left overs of what wasn't a great idea for a film in the first place.

The usual cast from the other Up... films (Up Pompei and Up the Front) put in appearances in this as well as a guest roll from Eartha Kitt but none really stand out as that good. I'm a big fan of classic British comedy but this is far from classic, if your looking for Howerd at his best then you have to look to his original TV series or in film one of the two Carry On's in which he appeared Doctor and Up The Jungle (not to be confused with this series of films it was a Carry On where Howerd presumably replaced the unavailable Kenneth Williams in a rare film of the series in which he doesn't appear).

Of the three Up..... films this is the weakest, watch the original TV series of Up Pompei and avoid this spin off even the biggest Howerd fans will i think struggle with this 4/10