La estatua

There are so many worthy cult movies from the 1970s that I (among many others) wish were released on DVD, so I can't understand why this forgotten bomb was resurrected on the format. Although they say that there is no bad premise, just bad executions of premises, the premise of this particular simply doesn't seem promising. David Niven looking to find out what man's sex organ was modelled for his sculpture wife's statue? To me, that sounds both desperate and lame. And the actual execution doesn't suggest that anyone in front of or behind the camera was trying. Indeed, the premise is so thin that there are big chunks of the movie where it's very clear that NOTHING of significance is going on. Maybe that wouldn't matter if the movie was funny, but it simply isn't. The only thing about the movie that will stick in your head after watching it is the infectious song "Charlie", which is played several times during the course of the movie.

Not as terrible as it's reputed to be, it's tedious rather than memorably bad; and at only 84 minutes feels a lot longer than it is. The script by Alex Coppel & Denis Norden (from the former's play 'Chip Chip Chip', and boy, does it feel like a play) unfolds like discarded scenes retrieved from Fellini's waste paper bin. Possibly inspired by the feverish speculation in the press as to the identity of the 'headless man' in the Polaroids produced in court during the Argyll divorce case in 1963, it's rather prescient of the routine photoshopping these days online of celebrities' heads on to the naked bodies of others.

The premise is also similar to Rouben Mamoulian's 'The Song of Songs' (1933). But the scandalous sculpture in that little gem was modelled by Marlene Dietrich and that film was a work of preCode sauciness whereas this is just another garrulous Italian sex comedy which aimlessly wanders about Europe while cameraman Piero Portalupi zooms back & forth between the cast and composer Riz Ortolani potters about on the soundtrack.

The Italian locations are obviously the reason why David Niven agreed to appear in this nonsense; while there are a several surprising British faces in supporting roles, including English Rose Suzanne Neve appearing topless, Hugh Burden & Eric Chitty as an elderly gay couple, two Pythons and a Goodie.

When my friends ask me to name the absolutely worst movie I've ever seen, this is the one I always answer with. Considering Amateau's experience with comedy, and the quality of many of the cast members, this is a real disappointment. Maybe the saddest thing is watching David Niven trying to find the inspiration for a -- er -- feature on a statue his wife produced by skulking around lavatories, steam baths, and a bunch of other places. He looks vaguely embarrassed by it all, and really deserved a much better script. The trouble is, the production values of the film are too good for it to have much of a future on the midnight movie circuit. Plan 9, you're safe for now!

David Niven's career hit rock bottom when he signed on to do The Statue. For a man whose name on the screen stood for charm and sophistication what was Niven thinking when he signed for this?

Niven plays a Nobel Prize winner whose wife Virna Lisi is a sculptress and has done a larger than life statue of him. However she's given him some enhanced privates obviously inspired elsewhere and Niven spends the whole film looking for the inspiration.

David Niven has uplifted more films than any other actor by dint of his personality. But this one is just too heavy a lift. It's got all the element of a stag film without the prurient interest that would make one watch.

God only knows what Niven was thinking.

If there was any bit of me left that still respected Roger Ebert's reviews, after reading his scathing criticism of The Statue, that bit is gone. He admittedly walked out of the film, claiming it was one of the only films in his career he ever left mid-way, so how was he allowed to even write a review without its full context? He had to have some underlying personal issues that The Statue flared up; perhaps an old girlfriend made fun of his manhood once and he never got over it.

This movie is harmless. It's light, fluffy, and very funny. There's no reason, save immense mental problems, for anyone to walk out of this movie. In fact, I actually recommend it if you've had a long week and want to see something silly. David Niven stars as a world-famous Nobel Prize winner who has invented a universal language. His wife, Virna Lisi, is a sculptor. Her latest creation is a gigantic larger-than-life nude statue of her husband! He's mortified and refuses her to display it in public - until he takes a closer look and realizes the embarrassing part of the statue doesn't even belong to him. Off he goes with his pal Robert Vaughn to track down every man in his wife's little black book, sneak a peak at their privates, and find out if he's the inspiration behind the statue.

See what I mean? It's harmless, silly, and quite funny. From steam rooms to bathrooms, The Niv finds himself in one embarrassing situation after another. One that just about split my sides was when he had to make sure that he wasn't mistaken about what Niv Jr. Looked like: he snuck into a photo booth and flashed the camera for an inventive "selfie". For someone who acted in Wuthering Heights and Enchantment, it must have been beyond entertaining for him to show his raunchy side. I couldn't stop laughing, especially since I know what a playboy he was in real life. If you love The Niv, find out who took his place in The Statue.