- The Signpost: Listen, any ordinary signpost can stand at a crossroads, pointing in one direction day in day out, never changing, growing old and dull. Not I, I carry a large assortment of directions. I give people three choices. This way, that way and anyway.
- Woodenhead Stallion III: Well you see, the trouble with me is, I can't hold a job. I had fancy ideas for a wooden horse, but nothin' worked out. I wasn't fast enough to be a race horse, too lazy to be a farm horse, tried to get a job as a clothes horse but just didn't have the figure.
- Dorothy: Poor Woodenhead.
- Woodenhead Stallion III: Oh, say that again, I love sympathy.
- Dorothy: Oh, eh... poor Woodenhead.
- Woodenhead Stallion III: Thank you.
- Crow: Turn them over to me. I've got a score to settle with Scarecrows, they used to give me a hard time when I was knocking over cornfields.
- Mombi, the Bad Witch: Yes, pet, you can help me. We'll both have hidious fun!
- The Tin Man: No, no, don't hug me, dear, I've just been re-chromed and I take fingerprints like mad. Just blow me a kiss.
- Pumpkinhead: Thank you, your Majesty. I shall endeavour to fulfill my duties to the best of my... incapacity.