The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Roger (Bruce Dern) is a doctor doing experiments on animals. He is putting two heads on a single body and he finally gets his chance to do it with humans when a large but mentally challenged man becomes available as a subject but he puts the head of a killer on him and soon the monster is running loose.

THE INCREDIBLE 2-HEADED TRANSPLANT was the type of film that AIP was turning out to drive-ins back in the day when this type of exploitation was grand. As with a lot of drive-in films, the most important thing was a great title and there's no question that this film has that. With that said, there really isn't too much exploitation here and it's a tad bit too dry for its own good.

Apparently the mad scientist role was originally meant for someone like Vincent Price but the role went to Dern instead. Dern is certainly a very good actor and he gives a good performance here but he plays it so serious and straight that it just doesn't added enough entertainment value for the type of film it is. The performance was more for a serious medical drama than a drive-in "B" picture. Casey Kasem was fun to see in his role and we also got Gary Kent, Pat Priest and Albert Cole.

The film is certainly mildly entertaining and the two-headed monster has an interesting look to it. The film is worth watching but at the same time there's no question that it falls well short of being a good movie. It also got outdone by the following year's THE THING WITH TWO HEADS.

A maniacal killer's head is fused to the lumbering, gargantuan body of a man with the mind of a small child by a scientist who just happens to specialize in fusing two-headed creatures in his spare time. Why? He says to show everyone what a genius he is. Why on Earth would anyone want to create a monster with two heads - neither containing the brain of anything remotely resembling worthiness? Such is the premise in this bizarre, fascinating, and God awful film made in 1971. Bruce Dern plays the "mad" scientist with decided disinterest. Can you blame him? He strolls around with drink in hand and never shows any real depth of character. By the film's end, his performance just caves in. The two-headed monstrosity, which battles bikers on bikes wielding chains and has a cumulative IQ of 60, is a true sight of ineptitude to behold. John Bloom, who would later get an even worse role as Frankenstein's Monster in Al Adamson's horrendous opus Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, plays Danny - a hulking man that lost his mind when he was left for dead in a mine shaft years ago. Now an adult, Danny is dutiful to his father, is treated like a mental defective by all concerned, and sweats a lot. The head of Albert Cole, a man who we see leering or laughing with crazy glee, is attached when Cole tries to rape Dern's wife(more on her in a minute) and kills Danny's father. Dern and his limp-wristed former surgeon assistant(Barry Kroeger) feel the time is right to make a two-headed freak with the body of Cole at their disposal and the mentally deficient Danny just there. This movie is a real hoot to sit through as every minute in bad - bad but fun. The story stinks. Director Anthony Lanza has little savvy. The production values virtually non-existent(although the head thing looks better here then some of the other two--headed monsters of the same era). Acting? What acting? C'mon - Casey Kasem as a doctor/hero? Dern looks like he lost a bet and had to be in the picture. Cole is annoyingly disgusting and ridiculous. Bloom is okay at best. But I really liked Pat Priest as Dern's wife. She sure didn't give a great performance, but she made a believer out of me as she fainted(several times), ran from crazy Cole, lounged in a chair by the pool, laid in bed either of her own accord or bound and gagged, and finally was tied and put in a cage in the lab - all in either a bikini, a small nightie, or some other light attire that showcased her attributes, the brightest things about this dreadful dreck. This movie is very, very bad, and I must confess I loved every minute of it. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Just hearing that soundtrack where every beat foreshadows something suspenseful will happen and rarely does. Or how about the dialog used in the picture? Whew! This is one of the all-time great of le bad cinema.

Call me demented but I loved this absolutely silly piece of 1970s Drive-In schlock! Director Anthony M. Lanza only made one other movie as far as I know, one I've been wanting to see for years, a 60s biker flick starring Dennis Hopper and Casey Kasem called 'The Glory Stompers'. Kasem returns in this one to play the concerned best friend of "mad" scientist Dr. Roger Girard played by cult favourite Bruce Dern (Kasem and Dern had previously played brothers in another 60s biker movie 'The Cycle Savages', a trash classic I highly recommend.) Dern, just like those scientists in 'Donovan's Brain', has his own lab in his home which he conducts his own private research, assisted by his crippled mentor Dr. Max ('Demon Seed'). Research, by the way, involving head transplants. So when a psychopath (Albert Cole) escapes on a rampage and kidnaps Dern's pretty blonde wife (Pat Priest of 'The Munsters'), it doesn't take long to figure out that the Doc is going to be operating on him soon. Especially when there is a handy mental defective (John Bloom, from 'The Hills Have Eyes 2') available (his caretaker's son). Now Bruce Dern is one of my favourite 1970s actors ('Bloody Mama', 'Silent Running', 'The King Of Marvin Gardens'), and I'd watch him in just about anything, but this must be the stupidest movie he has ever been involved in! Disinterested viewers who don't enjoy 60s and 70s exploitation and monster movies may find it just TOO stupid to get into, but I thought it was an absolute hoot, and loved every minute of it!

There's no doubting this is a very bad film by anyone's standards, but it isn't without some entertainment value. Bruce Dern – clearly on his uppers back in '71 – takes on the mad scientist role with such laid-back indifference to the part that his performance alone is worth the cost of the rental or purchase or ninety minutes of your life. Never will you see an actor so clearly embarrassed by the rubbish he has somehow found himself saddled with or trying so hard to appear invisible. Dern speaks each of his lines with a kind of preternatural calmness that leaves you wondering whether some underhand producer hasn't drugged him so that he believes he's floating through a dream. His character is assisted by Max (Berry Kroeger) who, quite frankly, is the creepiest thing in the film – like a strange uncle whose lap your mum warns you not to sit on when you're a kid…

The plot follows the typical monster-movie template. Once again our monster is stitched together from people's body parts in a fortress-like laboratory to which access is denied to the good doctor's long-suffering wife (Pat Priest). But, unlike Frankenstein, this is no meditation on the dangers of man playing God, rather than a frank attempt to titillate undemanding teens. Of course, wifey can't resist having a peek in the lab and before you can say 'don't open the door!' she's opened the door and – well, I'm sure you can get the rest.

The poor simpleton who has a maniacal killer's head grafted onto his neck (don't you hate it when that happens?) is something of a giant, and he's filmed from a low angle so that no money has to be spent on special effects. I'm sure Messrs Bloom and Cole must have been pretty close friends by the end of the shoot. Of course the killer quickly becomes the dominant partner and forces his neck-mate to embark on a killing spree. He lumbers around the countryside, chancing upon necking teenagers and wasted bikers who, for some reason, find it impossible to outrun him and, cackling wildly, summarily dispatches them for no apparent reason other than he's completely bonkers.

The single moment of any worth in the film is the point at which director Anthony Lanza cuts away from the murder of the female biker, just as those brainless cackles are beginning to rise. It's a moment of restraint totally at odds with the rest of the movie.

This is a great party movie. My friends and I have watched it together at least four times since we were teenagers. There are so many laughable moments that I could list, but here are just a few favorites:

Casey Casem is a main character (a doctor), but also provides the voice of every news announcement heard on radios in the film! (Did they think we wouldn't notice?)

Bruce Dern saying "Johnny, this is an axe. It is used for chopping wood, and NOTHING ELSE."

Dern again, upon completing an autopsy of a lab monkey: "You know, if this little guy had been healthy, he'd still be alive!"

The totally gratuitous "lady getting out of the bathtub" scene.

The soundtrack is consistently inappropriate for the action on screen. I particularly love the opening titles -- a drippy love song comes directly after a maniac's menacing laughter.

Stilted acting, poorly written dialog, cheesy 70's clothes, a ridiculous premise, and totally unconvincing makeup effects make this one of the best scoff-able titles out there (even beating "Gymkata")! Recommended for your next scoff-fest!