Los diamantes son eternos

You don't review James Bond movies, you evaluate them, rate them according to how well they meet expectations. There are certain things one has come to expect, even demand of a Bond film and each individual effort either delivers or it doesn't. So, here are ten elements that make a Bond film a Bond film and how DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER rates on a scale of 1 to 10:

Title: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER: A slight perversion of the once popular ad line used to sell wedding rings, this title suggests romance, but certainly that is the last thing on the film's agenda. It's a wonderfully deceptive title. 10 points.

Pre-Credit Teaser: Bond "kills" Blofeld, which supposedly seems to tie up major loose ends from ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE. But considering that when last we saw him, Blofeld was murdering James' new bride, such a confrontation should have immense power. An important turning point in the series slips past with no acknowledgment. Though the opening does serve to show that Sean Connery is back and George Lazenby has been released from Bondage. 2 points.

Opening Credits: Maurice Binder's style of opening montage is wearing just a tad old and predictable. Pretty enough with its diamond-studded theme for 4 points, but not good enough to do justice to the:

Theme Song: It is said that originally the film was to be a followup to GOLDFINGER, with his brother taking up where Goldfinger left off. That never came off, but certainly "Diamonds are Forever" is a perfect companion piece to the earlier theme song. It, of course, has the fabulous Shirley Bassey doing the vocals again, but it also repeats the cynicism of applying sensuous lust to material wealth. It's an anti-love song, much like "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend," only it doesn't hide its hard-edged avarice under a bouncy tune. It is, I think, even better than "Goldfinger," and may be the prefect James Bond song: amoral, stylish and seductive. 10 points

"Bond, James Bond": Connery is back, a bit chunkier and a tad grayer, but apparently his extended vacation from the role of 007 paid off. Personally, I think this is his best Bond work as Sean strolls through the film with relaxed charm and a complete understanding that this film, if not the entire series, is a comedy. Bond purists tend to disregard DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER because of its flip attitude, but that is what makes it my favorite. 10 points.

Bond Babes: Lana Wood, Natalie's sister, is on hand as the mandatory eye candy, and is all-too-disposable as Plenty O'Toole. But someone had the bright idea of making the main Bond Girl someone with a flair for comedy. Enter maturing starlet Jill St. John, the epitome of 1960's cheesy, Playboy sexuality. Whatever her limitations as an actress, St. John certainly had the knack for using her sexuality as an amusing toy and still maintain the edge that she is a lot smarter than she looks. As Tiffany Case, her intelligence seems to diminish as the film wears on (it seems the women Bond beds all end up dead or dumb), but her ability to fill a bikini remains indisputable. 9 points.

Bond Villain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld is back again, though only his love of fluffy, white pussycats remains constant. The intense geek of Donald Peasence and the uncouth thug of Telly Savalas are replaced by Charles Gray, who opts to play the part with droll, bemused wit and -- radically -- a full head of hair. Gray never gained iconic stature as Blofeld (that would come later as the Blofeld-like narrator in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW), but for my money he is the best Blofeld, a villain of classy arrogance who is singularly unimpressed by Bond. 10 points.

Bond Baddies: Ah yes, Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint; as played by Putter Smith and Bruce Glover, they are the Chip and Dale of Bond assassins; two more gracious and well-mannered killers would be hard to find. The film has been accused of homophobia for including a pair of gay killers, but considering the sheer number of assassins to cross Bond's path, it would be more discriminatory to exclude them based on their orientation. Wint and Kidd are at once gay clichés and yet surprisingly non-stereotypical. Nonetheless, they glide (prance? skip?) through the film with cold-blooded assurance and a rather endearing affection. And if they aren't butch enough, there's always Bambi and Thumper (Lola Larson and Trina Parks) on hand to beat the tar out of James. 9 points.

Plot: Blofeld hopes to corner the diamond market to use them on some sort of outer space laser with which he can -- again -- hold the nations of the world for ransom. Doesn't this guy ever learn? They even do the "you've killed James Bond" bit again. 5 points.

Production values: Bond's globetrotting brings him to the glitz and pseudo-grandeur of Las Vegas in all of its tacky glory. It makes for a nicely surrealistic backdrop, appropriate for the film's self-mocking attitude -- though a major chase scene is marred by the large number of tourists standing along the route, watching the filming. 7 points.

Bonus Points: The Bond producers' love of unorthodox casting pays off with the selection of country singer and sausage maker Jimmy Dean as the reclusive millionaire based on Howard Hughes. It is such a bizarre choice, yet Dean's country boy charm is a wonderful contrast to both Hughes' nutty behavior and to the bemused sophistication of Bond. 5 points.

Summary: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is a turning point in the series; the gritty, pseudo-realism of the early films is gone in favor of slick comic book sci-fi gloss. Whatever the series loses in thrills it makes up for in fun.

Bond-o-meter Rating: 81 points out of 100.

MI6 agent James Bond is sent to infiltrate a diamond smuggling ring but soon uncovers a plot headed by his nemesis Blofeld that threatens the world.

After George Lasnby's management declared he would not be returning, Sean Connery was lured back by UA with huge pay cheque (which he used to set up a foundation for Scottish artists). Connery has been unjustly accused of going through the motions the iconic role that made him is star. While he comes across campy at times due to his mannerisms not fitting his ageing looks, contrary to popular belief it's clear that he puts in 100 percent especially in the fight scenes notable the lift set up where he kills 'James Bond'.

Director Guy Hamilton's use of the (at the time) contemporary setting of Las Vegas gives Diamonds a slightly dated look and it appears less classic than earlier outings, also the production feel cheaper especially compared to its predecessor.The practical stunts are great from the aforementioned lift fight, to the car chases and finale. Like its setting the score is less classic/traditional and very '70s, of its day, but the theme (belted out wonderfully) by Shirley Bassey is excellent and the tune appears throughout. Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz's screenplay is as many of the Bond films - a mixture of great adventure and excitement, that is let down by some unnecessary injected humour as oppose to wittiness. However, it's interesting and different departing from the typical Bond style. This coupled with the real locations and Ken Adams toned down sets retain that Bond je ne sais quoi.

Charles Gray who appears in You Only Live Twice (1967) as Henderson, is now main antagonist Ernst Stavro Blofeld, he's a great actor but at times hams it up in almost Rocky Horror show proportions and comes off quite comedic instead of dangerous. Both Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny and Desmond Llewelyn as Q return in there enjoyable roles, Moneypenny notable not behind a desk and aids Bond. The supporting cast especially the crooks are well cast, older looking wise guys, gangster types that give the film a little weight.

Jill St. John as diamond smuggler Tiffany Case is refreshing as a Bond girl, while not the most classically beautiful, her character has a rough frank feistiness about her. The Blofeld's two villain accomplices are memorable and although clearly a gay couple, they are far more menacing than Blofeld himself especially Bruce Glover's Mr. Wint.

Mostly set in Vegas, California and Amsterdam it's also probably the least exotic of the Bond's. That said, it's still a fun adventure with one some of the most memorable dialogue of the series.

In this 7th Bond movie, there is little of Bond's prowess in sex and violence... Connery's return to his role for a final throw is simply disappointing... Seeking a diamond smuggler, Bond has adventures in Amsterdam, in a Los Angeles crematorium, in various Las Vegas gambling parlors, and in a secret factory in Nevada desert...

For that Bond receives an urn containing a hoard of gems; leads the police on a wild chase; drives a Moonbuggy and a tiny Mustang convertible on two side wheels; wins at the Craps table; struggles superbly with two hot-tempered vixens; rips off a woman's top bikini; substitutes a fake computer tape; tries to escape from a blazing coffin; and knocks what he thinks is the real Blofeld // For the audience, it's intended to function as a glorious reinstatement of Connery-Bond, avenging Tracy's murder...

Jill St. John is the free agent who defies Bond's charm, but is reduced to a weak heroine, as she displays none of the class we've come to expect of a Bond girl... Nevertheless this redheaded diamond smuggler becomes the first American Bond beauty who does know how to wear a 'nice little nothing.' Jill inspires the best line in the movie...

Charles Gray becomes the third actor to portray a wildly sophisticated Blofeld on-screen following Donald Pleasance and Telly Savalas… He succeeds as the reclusive tycoon Ernest Stavro Blofeld who creates doubles of himself to confuse Commander Bond... He hates martial music and takes no chances with his staff... His hit men are "gay and fun," Mr Kidd and Mr Wint... Putter Smith is the sadistic Mr Kidd and Bruce Glover is his sinister sidekick Mr Wint… Jimmy Dean plays the multimillionaire Willard Whyte unaware that his company is being improperly used by Blofeld for his devil scheme for world domination...He is held prisoner in his desert mansion which is protected by two female karate experts nicknamed Bambi and Thumper...

Lana Wood becomes the glamorous society girl who meets Bond at a Las Vegas crap table… One night she barely had enough time to remove her top, and gets an undeserved but chilling sendoff...

Desmond Llewelyn is Bond's gadget man, Q, who tries out an electromagnetic controller for his own amusement that makes an entire raw of slot machines hits jackpots...

Lois Maxwell is, as always, the loving Moneypenny in emigration uniform, this time, who still is aching for a diamond ring; Bernard Lee is the imposing 'M' who assigns 007 to infiltrate the smuggling ring and find out who was stockpiling stolen diamonds; Norman Burton is the CIA agent Felix Leiter who greets Bond and asks which part of the stiff holds the gems; Joseph Fürst is the brilliant scientist Dr Metz, who thinks that Blofeld is a mankind's benefactor, and a believer in world disarmament; and Bruce Cabot is Whyte's treacherous right-hand-man...

The movie resulted to be Sean Connery's last appearance as Bond before he returned again in ¨Never say never again¨ by Irwin Keshner . M ( Bernard Lee )assigns an under-grade mission to Bond dealing with diamonds robbing but the events go worse . This time Bond confronts Blofeld (Charles Gray) and a strange couple , Mr Kid and Mr Wint (Bruce Glover and Putter Smith ) in a intrigue about diamonds smuggling and a final with satellite full of nuclear weapons , holding of the world to ransom . Bond is helped by a Howard Hughes type recluse (Jimmy Dean) and of course Q (Desmond Llewelyn ). And the extraordinary presence of a marvelous girl (Jill St John) and secondary appearance another Bond female ( Lana Wood, Natalie Wood's sister ) in the ordinary Casino of Las Vegas .

The film contains spectacular fights , action packed , car chases , apocalyptic and overwhelming scenarios along with the typically glossy ingredients series but Sean Connery looks a little bit boring ,in fact is his Bond last film , before his surprising return . It is held together by fine acting and above all, and overwhelming level of tongue-in-cheek . Sean Connery as James Bond is cool , he has coldness and toughness , typical characters of the famous personage , but also earns in irony , suavity and smoothness . The interesting screenplay based on Ian Fleming's novel is written by Richard Maibaum and the recently deceased Tom Mankiewicz. The action is very good , the cinematography by Ted Moore is magnificent , the sets decent , but the real clincher is the fact that Bond is once more performed by a hero with the right stuff . The struggles were carefully choreographed by very accomplished athletes as a pair gorgeous killer karate female bodyguards and performed like a dance routine requiring each participant to hit their mark at the correct time . The picture is produced by habituals Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli filmed on location in Amsterdam , Netherland , Los Angeles ,Nevada and Pinewood Studios ,London,England. The atmosphere is faithful to the actual location but the interiors on a set at Pinewood Studios. Appropriate and wonderful -as usual- musical score by John Barry .Main title song is catching and marvelously performed by Shirley Bassey . The motion picture is well directed by Guy Hamilton who also directed ¨Live and let die¨, ¨the man with the golden gun¨ with Roger Moore and the best Bond : ¨Goldfinger ¨also with Sean Connery . Indispensable and essential watching for James Bond fans .

When it comes to Bond films I watch with trepidation, as I either really like them or absolutely hate them. Diamonds are Forever falls in the former category although I'm not totally sure why. It's like after the serious action-packed 60's they decided to just calm down and relax, this is the most chilled out and mellow Bond film there is. It has that air of coolness that only early 70's films seem to have. There is a plot of sorts but there's no rush to get there. John Barry's score is his most jazzy and laid back. You feel this was the Bond film that most inspired Tarentino. Do you think so Mr Wint, I do Mr Kidd. Connery seems to really enjoy himself playing Bond again, now surprisingly looking older than his forty years although he was still younger than Roger Moore when he played Bond for the first time the following year, the role seems to fit him even better than before. It's a cool...(7/10).