Cry Uncle

For anyone looking for a prurient Sam Spade or a Peeping Tom's idea of a Raymond Chandler mystery, director John G. Avildsen's very-nearly pornographic crime satire should suffice while also giving character actor Allen Garfield an overdue starring role as a not-so-private dick. Garfield's Jake Masters, on a blackmail/murder case for five G's, always seems to have his pants down, coming down, or about to come down. David Odell's script (adapted, believe it or not, from a novel, "Lie A Little, Die A Little," by Michael Brett) can barely work up the semblance of a storyline, while the naked ladies who cross Jake's path aren't the luscious dames of years-past; Avildsen has filled these roles with cheap and hardened braless babes. The film quickly begins to ape its own rancid scenario (this is literally a 'dirty' movie), but Garfield doesn't notice, making the most of the opportunity. Constantly horny, and wearing an ever-present stingy brim hat and sweaty undershirt (pulled down just far enough to cover his privates), Garfield is in the required raunchy spirit, all right, yet he also has unmistakable star appeal. He's the naughty kid from grade school barely grown up, unable to get information out of a female suspect without unzipping his fly. Avildsen's movie makes no overtures to morality or ethics--he just wants to goose the audience--and he has found the perfect lead for the job. ** from ****

THE PLOT: A down and out private eye (Garfield) becomes embroiled in a complex case involving murder, intrigue, and a lot of sex.

THE POSITIVE: This is one drive-in flick that definitely does not skimp on the sex. There is a lot of it and it is very explicit and done in some outlandish ways. One features a couple having sex during the national anthem, while another shows Garfield having sex with a prostitute while in front of a picture of Christ, yet the most notorious one involves Garfield having sex with a dead body while ragtime music plays in the background. Garfield, in the lead, is quite amusing as he seems to be always running his mouth off about something. Sorvino also has a funny cameo as a policeman plagued with a terrible case of smoker's cough.

THE NEGATIVE: Although she delivers her lines well Le Roux, in the female lead role, is not real sexy. Her face resembles that of Cruella De Vil's in the cartoon version of 101 DALMATIONS and her body is very flat making her nude scenes unexciting. She also doesn't seem too young either. Certain camera angles make her look like a youthful 30 while others give the impression that she is pushing 45. There are also enough nude shots of overweight and out of shape Garfield to make just about anyone sick. The film is also unable to sustain its nice slam bang funny pace that it has at the beginning with the second half being not as outrageous or inspired.

THE LOWDOWN: For fans of low-grade, T & A, drive-in fare this one pretty much hits the target and makes the most of its low budget, underground roots.

THE RATING: 5 out of 10.

This movie was something of a revelation when it came out -- a full-tilt x-rated film that had little to do with sex. It's structured as a detective film, with Alan Garfield (Goorwitz) in one of his early roles. Everyone talks sex (and often takes part), but the film is ultimately a bizarre comedy about sex. Accidental necrophilia may not sound like fertile ground for jokes, but it does work.

Sort of like x-rated Preston Sturges crossed with South Park. (I'm not claiming it's as good as either, but they give you an idea of the sensibility.) It will offend the uptight, that's for sure.

Jake Masters (Allen Garfield) is a private eye detective hired by a wealthy man who is the prime suspect in the murder of a young starlet... It is Jake's job to find the real killer... He not only uncovers the case, but also a lot of hookers and call girls...

The misadventures are highly comic and include sexual intercourse, unintentional necrophilia, and sinister lesbians... The sexual overtones are stimulating and funny... They are used more to comment on the hypocrisy of society than to derive unjust profit...

There is a lot of soul in this film, especially in the performance of Garfield, who plays a very adorable investigator... Madeleine Le Roux is volcanic as the fiery blond who is as quick with a pistol as she is with her verbal assaults...

After viewing the film 34 years ofter its release, I must say it doesn't hold up and is quite tedious and boring in spots. For those of you old enough to remember, the early 70's was filled with these semi-porn x-rated independent films with wide-spread theatrical release. It was new and legal, and many genre themes were sexed-up for releases like this.

To be fair, there are moments in this film that are genuinely funny and well done, but like a hard-core porn film, it takes every opportunity it can to portray sex and nudity on screen, with the subsequent boring results.