1,000 Convicts and a Woman!

American actress Alexandra Hay plays a spoiled, nymphomaniacal British girl, ironically named "Angela", who returns from four years of boarding school in Boston (which might explain why her accent keeps shifting from British to American)to stay with father at progressive prison at which he is the warden. She mercilessly teases both the inmates and prison employees by flouncing around in short miniskirts and tight pants until one of the sex offenders attacks her. Even then though she doesn't learn her lesson, but actually seduces a guard and a black convict and becomes involved in an attempted prison break.

This British movie, originally called "Fun and Games", was released in America under the the misleading title "1000 Convicts and a Woman" and with tagline "Black men! White men! Every man!". Actually though, there are nowhere near 1,000 inmates at this prison and only one of them is actually black. The convicts also don't seem very hardened (at least until Angela shows up!). They all wander freely around the prison, and one even works as a chauffeur for Angela's father. Although her character is completely ridiculous, this is Hay's show all the way (her dodgy accent notwithstanding). She plays a kind of malicious, teasing minx, reminiscent of the ones British actress Linda Hayden played in movies like "Satan's Skin" and "Baby Love". She's not nearly as talented as Hayden, but she makes up for it somewhat by going way over the top, laughing maniacally or bringing herself to an apparent orgasm while riding her bicycle. She even looks a little like Hayden (but perhaps more of a cross between Mena Suvari and Italian sex bomb Gloria Guida).

This movie has very little violence and only occasional nudity from Hay (most of the sexiness is in her performance). The interracial sex scene was risqué perhaps for the time in Britain, but it's still pretty tame as sex scenes go. American audiences were probably disappointed by this given the highly exploitative promotional campaign. But if you know what to expect, it's pretty OK I guess.

I stumbled upon the 1971 movie "Fun and Games" (aka "1000 Convicts and a Woman") by random chance here in 2025. I didn't even know that the movie existed, but then again I never really understood or enjoyed the sexploitation genre of movies, and thus haven't been in any particular rush to get to watch such movies. But with this being a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give director Ray Austin's 1971 movie a fair chance. But truth be told, I harbored zero expectations to the movie.

As the movie unfolded on the screen, I sat with a sense of 'is there a purpose to this narrative?' throughout the course of the movie. Writer Oscar Brodney didn't exactly put together a particularly entertaining script and storyline, nor a particularly enjoyable one at that.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actress or actor on the cast list in this movie, except for Robert Brown. The acting performances in the movie were fair enough, taking into consideration the genre of movie that this was.

Hardly a memorable movie, nor one that will ever grace my screen a second time. But I am sure that there is an audience out there who enjoys these types of movies way more than I did as a casual viewer.

My rating of director Ray Austin's 1971 movie "Fun and Games" lands on a generous three out of ten stars.

The gorgeous Alexandra Hay, who sadly died only 49 years old, convincingly plays a nymphet terrorising the warders and inmates of a peculiarly liberal prison. It's an inviting set up and there could be few more enticing exploitation subjects, and until it rather runs out of steam, this movie is quite fun. Hay, who shows a bit of flesh but not lots, plays her character to the max and there's one speech from her in which she succinctly describes herself, the best lines of the movie. Pleasingly sleazy and very 1971, 1,000 Convicts (aka Fun And Games) passes the time. The film has some resemblance to the director's Virgin Witch, although it's not as sexy as that movie.

The plot of "Fun and Games" admittedly may sounds genius if it were an X-rated adult movie, but for a regular film it's honestly too thin. Perhaps it still could have worked as a juvenile and harmless sex-comedy, in the style of "Porky's" or "The Cheerleaders", but it's not sleazy and light-hearted enough for that. In the end, it's a rather boring and frustratingly tame semi-exploitation effort with a couple of neat (but unelaborated) ideas and a breathtakingly gorgeous lead actress (Alexandra Hay) who sadly doesn't show enough nudity. She - Angela - is the 17-year-old-daughter of the head-warden of an experimental government prison, who returns home to England after having spent four years at a boarding school in Boston. During her period in the states, Angela turned into a curvaceous young woman and she developed an insatiable craving for male attention and sex. She likes nothing better than to seduce men with her long blond hair and ravishing body, which obviously leads to problematic situations in an all-male prison institution. Angela's "shenanigans" mainly exist of walking by men that gaze at her, and then she starts laughing like a spoiled little brat. The climax, during which she's taken hostage by two inmates while they escape, is incredibly implausible and borderline pathetic.

I enjoyed the movie overall, except one thing, Hay's laugh. It was so forced and so 70s in it sound that it grated on the nerves by the time the movie was half over. Otherwise, I didn't have too many issues with the story, the acting was generally 70 camp - and I didn't have an issue with it. Hay plays the seductress well enough, and she shows skin in several scenes it isn't over the top and most of the sex is offscreen and what is onscreen is typical show nothing.

Overall, the movie holds together on its premise, but I just couldn't abide the horrendous laugh that seems to permeate the movie with no real reason most of the time.