The Hard Ride

After his best friend "Lenny" (Alfonso Williams) is killed while serving in Vietnam, "Phil" (Robert Fuller) is given permission to escort the coffin back to the United States and make the necessary funeral arraignments. To that effect, since Lenny was an orphan and had no family members, his only requests were to have his priest "Father Tom" (Marshall Reed) to preside over his funeral and for a motorcycle gang led by a man named "Big Red" (Tony Russel) to attend as well. To help with that, Lenny advises Phil to get in touch with his former girlfriend "Sheryl" (Sherry Bain) who might know where to find him. On a final note, Lenny also bequeaths an extremely valuable motorcycle to Phil with the hope that he can make good use of it. The main problem, however, is that this motorcycle just happens to be highly coveted by another motorcycle gang leader named "Grady" (William Bonner) and he is willing to do anything to get possession of it. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this film started off reasonably well and had a few good action scenes here and there along with a fairly good musical score as well. Unfortunately, there was one particular scene that I didn't especially care for and caused me to lower my evaluation somewhat lower. Average.

While the two leads here are adequate for this type of bottom-of-the-bill movie, one has to admit that this is the kind of film one would find at a drive-in in 1971 -- a drive-in occupied entirely by couples far too busy making out in their back seats to ever glance at the screen or even hook the speaker to their car windows. It's hard to figure what's worse here -- the lousy script and direction, idiotic soundtrack music, the cheapo production techniques, the poor editing, the badly choreographed fight scenes ("heightened" by inexplicable slo-mo) or the stupidly clichéd plot and characters. The motorcycle sequences are almost laughable. The childish dopes the movie tries to typify would have been just as awesome on bicycles with training wheels. What an embarrassing waste of film.

If you're looking for something a little different from the typical late '60s/early '70s AIP biker flick, then ignore any negatory comments about this film and track yourself down a copy. (As of April 2006 Sony/MGM has yet to release it onto DVD; it was only available about 10 years back on VHS from the now-defunct Orion, who then had the rights to the AIP library, which MGM then subsequently picked up.) Yes, this film is not so heavy on the exploitation elements as others of the genre (e.g. "Satan's Sadists", which I found to be abysmally dull and typical of the inept hackwork of the 'great' Al Adamson - the title's the best thing about that film). Not that it's lacking in violence, sex, drugs and general sleaziness (there's even some brief topless nudity); it's just that this film also has some other things on its mind - LIKE TELLING A STORY.

Gravelly-voiced Robert Fuller (soon-to-be of 'Emergency!' fame) stars as a returning Vietnam vet who, in accordance with a dying buddy's wishes, takes under his care his dead friend's chopper, named 'Baby'. And what a hog! This is the kind of motorcycle that I used to fantasize about when I was six years old, with high handlebars, big pipes, long forks and a throaty engine. VRROOOOM! Fuller also hooks up (not in the literal sense, mind you - at least, not initially) with his dead pal's old lady, one Sheryl, played by genre vet Sherry Bain, who is far more plausibly cast in the role than, say, Jocelyn Lane in "Hell's Belles". (Don't get me wrong: I LOVE Jocelyn Lane - she is an uber-fox of the highest degree, but she is nowhere near as believable as a 'motorcycle mama' as Bain is.) Ms. Bain, with her tousled mane of real red hair and curvy but not over-endowed body, is beautiful, but not TOO beautiful for the role, with hints of wear and tear, some frazzled edges, but still radiating a healthy sexiness, albeit one with more than a hint of sadness and cynicism underlying it.

The film also deals with some interesting racial angles, too, that - to my knowledge, anyway - were pretty atypical for a genre picture like this one, and deals with them in an interesting fashion, if perhaps a tad bit too cursorily. For example, Fuller's dead pal was black, and thus Sheryl, a white woman, was crossing the color line in her relationship with him. Later, encountering another black biker who makes an impertinent assumption in coming onto her, she is prompted to respond, "I wasn't into him because he was black!" Also, the film's MacGuffin (of a sort - he's the guy Fuller and Bain spend most of the running time looking for), a guy who goes by the sobriquet Big Red, is a Native American (tribe not specified) - just another interesting detail in film whose genre is all too often portrayed as being as lily white as many eastern prep schools.

As for the exploitation angles, like I said, there's plenty of substance abuse, some skinnydipping, a scene in a whorehouse (with the aforementioned nudity - hey, you could get away with more in the early '70s with a 'GP' rating) and some fairly brutal and well-directed fight sequences (much better than just about any from other films in this genre and period). Plus lots and lotsa hogs.

"The Hard Ride" is a decent film---not especially good but they people who made it tried to make a competent movie and it is watchable. However, for folks who LIKE sleazy biker pics, this one will be a HUGE disappointment! Had they infused it with the typical crap you'd find in films like "Satan's Sadists" or "Werewolves on Wheels", it would have been worse but a lot more fun.

The film is about an ex-G.I. (Robert Fuller) who has come to a desert town to take possession of his dead buddy's chopper nicknamed 'Baby'. Unfortunately, all kids of nasty folks want the bike and Fuller isn't about to just give it to these jerks. However, this is only part of the film--much of it consists of Fuller and a lady driving around cross country looking for 'Big Red' as well as making out. While all this COULD have been great sleazy fun, it's all played very straight and is non-exploitation all the way. A somewhat dull time-passer and that's about it.

The Hard Ride tries to be a message movie, as Robert Fuller (soon to be Dr Kelly Brackett on TV's 'Emergency!') comes home from 'Nam to reclaim his dead buddy's chopper, Baby. Complications ensue as the local chapter of Hell's Bellyachers don't take too kindly to a straight dude muscling in on the action. This is no Satan's Sadists, heck it's not even Hell's Angel on Wheels, so aside from a few chase scenes and a whiff of miscegenation there's not much fun to be had here.