Drácula contra Frankenstein

I guess your name simply has to be Jess Franco if you shamelessly steal the sagas of no less than three immortal horror icons (Count Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and the Wolf Man) and still manage to make a dreadfully boring and incoherent piece of cinematic garbage out of it. How does one man pull it all off? I caught myself staring at the TV screen for several whole minutes before all of a sudden realizing there's actually nothing happening at all. There's something remotely resembling to a storyline, but you'll have to cut and edit the pieces together yourself, as good old Jess clearly didn't bother about continuity, periodic accuracy, tension building or even just plain common sense. The most astonishing thing, however, is that during the opening sequences, our director almost tricked me into believing "Dracula: Prisoner of Frankenstein" could actually become a worthwhile effort! The movie opens with atmospheric images of ominous dark castles and creepily isolated landscapes, guided by an unsettling Bruno Nicolai score. It suspiciously looks as if Franco carefully watched and studied the contemporary Hammer highlights (including the entire Dracula and Frankenstein franchises) and took notes on what scenery to use and how to create a setting. Unfortunately he quickly turns into his incompetent self again shortly after the opening credits and comes up with a totally ludicrous plot. The nauseatingly pale body of Count Dracula lies died in his coffin (perhaps that is because all the vampire attacks take place in broad daylight, duh!) when no less than Dr. Frankenstein invades the castle turf. The power mad doctor – NOT Baron this time – instructs his homemade monster to abduct a strip dancer and subsequently uses her blood to resurrect a bat. I think the bat is meant to represent Count Dracula or at least some vampire, as it is Frankenstein's intention to raise an army of vampires under his command and then overtake the earth. After this series of retarded plot twists, I just lost all further interest, so don't even ask me at what point the Wolf Man joined in. This is just an incredibly retarded movie and I honestly can't fathom that nobody who was involved in this production seemed to notice so as well. Wasn't there any of producers, cast or crew members courageous enough to step up and say something like: "Sorry Jess, no offense but … this is absolute rubbish we're filming here!" No? Anyone? Although it's probably a good thing, there are hardly any lines or dialogs in this movie. It takes nearly twenty minutes before anyone speaks and the characters that do open their mouths only talk nonsense. The sleaze factor is disappointing, the amount of gore and bloodshed is weak and the make-up effects are embarrassing. The Frankenstein creature looks like a cheap mannequin doll from a bankrupt Halloween store, the Wolf Man is just some Spanish bloke with a severe body hair problem and Dracula …well… Howard Vernon looks pathetic in his umpteenth collaboration with director Jess Franco. Personally I think Vernon owed Jess Franco a lifetime of favors for borrowing money once, or something, and therefore was forced to star in each and every dud the director ever made.

"Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein" is a so-so monster mash from the prolific Euro-cult filmmaker Jess Franco. Dr. Seward (a bland Alberto Dalbes) eliminates Count Dracula (Howard Vernon) once and for all - or so he thinks. Dr. Frankenstein (a bored-looking Dennis Price) soon shows up to resurrect the vampire, and turn him loose so that Dr. F can have an army of vampires to command.

For me, there wasn't much that was excessively tacky about this opus; at least, I was able to take it seriously enough (although the excellent music score by Bruno Nicolai & Daniel White may have played a big part in that). There was just nothing particularly *interesting* here; it felt like just about everybody involved was just going through the motions. That is, except maybe for Genevieve Robert as the gypsy who cares for Seward when he almost perishes.

Throw in a "Frankenstein monster" (Fernando Bilbao) and a werewolf (Brandy) who only shows up at the end, and there's something here that is watchable enough, but pretty easy to forget.

Five out of 10.

A creepy castle; rubber bats on string; hot women; stock sound effects*; crash zooms; out of focus shots; extreme close-ups of eyes. Be warned... with Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein, we're not just in vampire territory - we're in Jess Franco territory as well, which is not for the faint-hearted. Those who venture forth will face a nonsensical story, erratic pacing, and a general feeling that no-one involved really knew what was going on.

The film begins as Doctor Jonathan Seward (Alberto Dalbés) tracks down Dracula (Howard Vernon, employing the one expression throughout the entire film) and despatches the vampire using a teeny tiny travel hammer and stake, small enough to fit neatly in one's hand luggage. Dracula transforms into a little dead bat, but is rescued by Doctor Frankenstein (Dennis Price), who, assisted by scarred mute Morpho (Luis Barboo) and his loyal monster (Fernando Bilbao, sporting truly awful make-up), is able to revive the flying mammal by soaking it in the blood of a sexy bar singer (Josyane Gibert).

With Dracula in his power, Frankenstein sets about assembling an army of obedient vampires, including Doctor Seward's voluptuous patient Maria (Paca Gabaldón). Seward attempts to stop the megalomaniacal scientist and his unholy army with a little help from a band of gypsies, a jealous female vampire (Carmen Yazalde) and, in the film's chaotic finalé, a wolfman (Brandy, whose monster make-up is even worse than Bilbao's).

Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein sees Franco at his laziest, the director chucking in everything but the kitchen sink with little regard for logic. Of course, this totally haphazard approach and the sheer silliness of proceedings will no doubt hold some appeal for fans of schlock Euro-horror and avid Franco fans, but those unaccustomed to the Spanish director's 'style' will more than likely struggle with the general slipshod nature of the movie.

4/10. Very little in the way of gore and nekkidness - just a little blood and some 'cheesecake' (the lack of nudity is especially surprising given it's a Franco flick).

*We never actually see that bloody peacock!!!

Jesús Franco (aka uncle Jess) decided here to put every possible movie monster together(Drácula, Frankenstein and the werewolf) and "Dracula vs Frankenstein" was spawned. Dr. Frankenstein creates an obedient monster with his illegal activities. Then, Count Dracula (Howard Vernon) also joins Frankenstein army. This is maybe one of the oldest Dracula ever, he is so old that is a joke. The old Dracula and the evil monster begins their reign of horror in the town, fortunately for the people, the werewolf is there to help the town against Dracula and the monster (yes, this movie is a complete non-sense). Apart from the non-sense of everything here, we have a good staff of young and beautiful chicks. OK, Dracula Vs Frankenstein is more an unintentionally comedy than a horror movie, not even a 5 year old girl can be scared by this one, its even cheesier than any Ed Wood movie, but it is funny. Its one of those "so bad its good" movies, pure grade Z fun. Unfortunately, we have no gore or sex in this Franco movie, but still is recommended.

if you - like me - love trashy horror movies, then i can safely say, this film is excellent! every fan of this genre should own it (even if its in a unfathomable language - it all adds to the effect). the first time i saw this film i cried with laughter from beginning to end. fabulous! its a total masterpiece of its genre, yet sadly its practically unknown. as with all of jess francos brilliant films, it is unintentionally funny and highly entertaining. it delivers all the usual franco trademarks: sex, blood, death, nudity, more blood, tits, violence and great overacting. for sure, mr Tarantino would have loved to have made this film. he certainly couldn't have made it anymore over the top. i love the way the overdubbed clip-clops of the horses, sound exactly like someone clicking two pieces of metal together (or they obviously went to great lengths to recorded two-legged horses). visually, it has some really creative camera-work too, indeed, its like watching a movie after eating one of my reeders digestive biscuits! franco guaranteed everyone would be happy. any film that contains Dracula, frankenstein AND wolfman all in one movie, certainly wanted to make sure no fan would be left to freeze in the crypt. its entertaining in every way, even the original poster artwork is so wonderful it could almost be mistaken for a modern replica. if this film is available - anywhere, buy it. i guarantee you will not be disappointed. whatever, i loved it.