El cieno verde

A team of astronauts are called upon to destroy a particularly large asteroid that is on a collision course with Earth. While they are planting charges on the big rock, an ooey, gooey green substance is discovered, and it ends up attaching itself to the suit of one of the crewmen. When the suit and the substance are back aboard their space station, it evolves, creating a bipedal, red eyed, tentacled monster. And its oozing green blood merely helps to make the creature multiply. Our intrepid heroes who must stop the infestation include Jack Rankin (Robert Horton of 'Wagon Train') and Vince Elliott (Richard Jaeckel, "Grizzly").

Whether or not the filmmakers actually had their tongues in their cheeks, the end result is that "The Green Slime" is magnificently cruddy sci-fi, a true camp classic. Some viewers may deride it for being overly silly and juvenile, but there's no denying its goofy charm, especially when the monsters are stomping around. The main problem is that it simply goes on too long, and interest level may wane for some in the audience. The special effects are hilariously awful, although the monsters are great fun, what with their tacky appearance. Overall, this American / Italian / Japanese production, directed by Japanese filmmaker Kinji Fukasaku ("Battle Royale"), provides pretty colorful entertainment, at least in a literal sense, and its widescreen photography also helps a great deal.

Viewers may feel embarrassed for co-stars Horton and Jaeckel, but they give admirably straight faced performances in the face of such inanity. Luscious Italian babe Luciana Paluzzi ("Thunderball") is mostly good for eye candy, as are assorted other female bit players. You do have to love the way that so many of these female space travellers wear miniskirts.

That priceless, rocking theme song ("The Greeeen Sliiime!!!") is over much too quickly; it's the kind of thing for which you want to rewind the movie.

Provided that prospective viewers know what to expect, they can have quite a good time with this one.

Five out of 10.

There isn't a single Japanese actor in this big-budget Japanese produced sci-fi drama, but the special effects are a dead give-away. A wandering astroid (code named `Flora') is on a collision course with Earth. Richard Jackel and Robert Horton lead a team which places atomic bombs on the astroid to blow it up. They succeed, but they unwittingly bring back an alien fungus to their wheel-shaped space station. The fungus grows into man-sized monsters which multiply rapidly and overrun the space station. Jackel and Horton are forced to set aside their romantic rivalry over Luciana Paluzzi (`Thunderball') while they battle the creatures. Blazing laser guns abound in a desperate battle with the unstoppable monsters! The astronauts even don spacesuits and jet-packs for a battle on the space station's hull. All this in glorious color AND wide screen. Wow!

Sure, this sounds great but . . . well, these guys didn't know what they were doing. Or did they?

`The Green Slime' looks more like a clever satire of sci-fi movies than an ineptly made film. The odds against all the side-splitting humor in this movie happening by accident must be astronomical. The potato-shaped monster suits are hysterical. The miniatures of the rockets are so tiny the camera can barely focus on them. The dialogue sounds like perfect parodies of sci-fi's most treasured clichés. (Example: The doctor rushes up to soldiers as their about to attack a slim monster. `Stop, don't kill it!' he pleads. `This is a magnificent discovery, and we must do everything possible to SAVE it!' -- and he says it in a perfect imitation of Richard Nixon.)

When the heroes' rocket tries to outrun an atomic blast, Robert Horton orders the pilot to increase thrust. But the G-forces are already so strong, the pilot can't lift his hand to reach the throttle. Macho Robert jumps up, walks to the pilot's chair, and pushes the throttle himself!

`The Green Slime' is so full of scenes like this that it should be re-released as `National Lampoon's Space Adventure'. And just wait until you hear the Jimmy Hendrix sound-alike title theme, a psychedelic rock tune. Its was even released on 45 rpm! (That's kinda like a CD, for those of you too young to remember.)

Rent the movie, call your friends, and mix up a batch of lime Jello as a snack. This is MST3K squared.

I remember as a kid sitting in an old run-down theater watching this movie on a Saturday afternoon and thinking "it doesn't get much better than this".

Rocket ships, laser gun battles with deadly aliens, risking your life for the "good of the planet".

Of course that was 1968 and this movie looks pretty unspectacular now compared to Star Wars etc. but it is a good example of the "space opera" of that period. A multi-national space station launches a ship toward an oncoming asteroid in the hope of preventing a collision with earth. Lives are risked but in the end disaster is averted and the asteroid is destroyed everyone is safe......but are they? What has been brought back to the station? Can it be stopped in time?

Good for those rainy afternoons with the kids, they may even enjoy it, you certainly will.

I have a special attachment to this film: I was stationed in the Air Force in Japan in 1968 when this was filmed. Most of the cast (with the exception of course of the "name" actors) were U.S. Military personnel or dependents. Bud Widom was an announcer on Armed Forces Radio in Tokyo, and Ann Ault (nurse) directed our theater group (The Kanto Players). She directed me as Dr. Bradley in "The Man Who Came to Dinner". Ann also had a a great voice and appeared as a headliner at the Tokyo Hilton. For the earlier comment, Green Slime HAS been shown on MS3TK. It was, I think, made for it, even though MS3TK was just a dream at the time.

Before you can say, "Sock it to me!" a giant asteroid is on a collision course with Earth. Ivan Reiner, Kinji Fukasaku and the gang get western TV star Robert Horton (as Jack Rankin) to command a mission dealing with the problem. He clashes with future "Oscar" nominated site commander Richard Jaeckel (as Vince Elliott). These two "Gamma 3" rivals both dig luscious doctor Luciana Paluzzi (as Lisa Benson). They decide to land one of their groovy spaceships on the giant rock and lay down some explosives. The mission gets a little hairy, but winds up successful. But the team has inadvertently picked up "The Green Slime" - a bubbly mess that grows into energy eating beasts even "Mr. Clean" can't wipe up!

****** The Green Slime (12/19/68) Kinji Fukasaku ~ Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, Luciana Paluzzi, Ted Gunther