El cieno verde

A team of astronauts are called upon to destroy a particularly large asteroid that is on a collision course with Earth. While they are planting charges on the big rock, an ooey, gooey green substance is discovered, and it ends up attaching itself to the suit of one of the crewmen. When the suit and the substance are back aboard their space station, it evolves, creating a bipedal, red eyed, tentacled monster. And its oozing green blood merely helps to make the creature multiply. Our intrepid heroes who must stop the infestation include Jack Rankin (Robert Horton of 'Wagon Train') and Vince Elliott (Richard Jaeckel, "Grizzly").

Whether or not the filmmakers actually had their tongues in their cheeks, the end result is that "The Green Slime" is magnificently cruddy sci-fi, a true camp classic. Some viewers may deride it for being overly silly and juvenile, but there's no denying its goofy charm, especially when the monsters are stomping around. The main problem is that it simply goes on too long, and interest level may wane for some in the audience. The special effects are hilariously awful, although the monsters are great fun, what with their tacky appearance. Overall, this American / Italian / Japanese production, directed by Japanese filmmaker Kinji Fukasaku ("Battle Royale"), provides pretty colorful entertainment, at least in a literal sense, and its widescreen photography also helps a great deal.

Viewers may feel embarrassed for co-stars Horton and Jaeckel, but they give admirably straight faced performances in the face of such inanity. Luscious Italian babe Luciana Paluzzi ("Thunderball") is mostly good for eye candy, as are assorted other female bit players. You do have to love the way that so many of these female space travellers wear miniskirts.

That priceless, rocking theme song ("The Greeeen Sliiime!!!") is over much too quickly; it's the kind of thing for which you want to rewind the movie.

Provided that prospective viewers know what to expect, they can have quite a good time with this one.

Five out of 10.

Before you can say, "Sock it to me!" a giant asteroid is on a collision course with Earth. Ivan Reiner, Kinji Fukasaku and the gang get western TV star Robert Horton (as Jack Rankin) to command a mission dealing with the problem. He clashes with future "Oscar" nominated site commander Richard Jaeckel (as Vince Elliott). These two "Gamma 3" rivals both dig luscious doctor Luciana Paluzzi (as Lisa Benson). They decide to land one of their groovy spaceships on the giant rock and lay down some explosives. The mission gets a little hairy, but winds up successful. But the team has inadvertently picked up "The Green Slime" - a bubbly mess that grows into energy eating beasts even "Mr. Clean" can't wipe up!

****** The Green Slime (12/19/68) Kinji Fukasaku ~ Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, Luciana Paluzzi, Ted Gunther

With a title like "The Green Slime", your expectations for this film are certainly not going to be great. However, despite many knocks against the film other than the title, the overall effort is surprisingly watchable.

The film stars mostly American actors, though it was filmed in Japan and it shows. The sets and rockets are very reminiscent of those you might see in Japanese sci-fi films and Godzilla-type films. This isn't necessarily bad, as for this style of film it is one of the better ones. However, considering that in the US, 2001 was being released as well, then THE GREEN SLIME's special efforts really look shabby in comparison. I am sure that the folks that made this film felt much the same way and cursed 2001's brilliant special effects!

As for the plot, this is generally the best thing about this sci-fi film. The idea of a small and seemingly insignificant organism growing rapidly and taking over a space station is interesting and is reminiscent of movies such as THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN. I am sure that the folks at NASA were also seriously worried about such possibilities. I liked this idea, but unfortunately making this growing green menace look menacing and credible was tough--and the folks who made this film didn't even come close! The green glop morphed into silly looking creatures that looked a lot like the sea monster from "Sigmund and the Sea Monster"! I think if they'd just kept the green slime in the form of a rapidly spreading slime instead of silly electricity-spouting semi-humanoids it would have played out better.

So the overall effort has a lot of cheese as well as a few dumb performances (such as the doctor who needlessly gets himself killed and Richard Jaekel's very inconsistent character) but there is also a bit of charm about it, as this was kind of the last gasp for the 1950s style sci-fi yarn. Now, thanks to better special effects and audiences that expected more, films like THE GREEN SLIME were a dying breed.

By the way, you may recognize the female lead, Luciana Paluzzi. She was one of the Bond villains from THUNDERBALL and she was never lovelier.

I agree that this movie is now entertaining on a bad movie level, but those who say it had to be made as a joke are dead wrong. This came out in a time before America (and particularly American kids) became so f--king "sophisticated". I saw this as a 10 year-old on the big screen when it was released; all us kids were thrilled by the adventure and did NOT laugh. It's a shame that kids today are denied the chance to experience this kind of innocent, totally unsophisticated fun in a theater. You can be smug about how "cheesy" these kinds of movies were, and how much more "sophisticated" we all are now, but on the flip side we didn't have things like school massacres back then, did we?

You have to love a sci-fi movie that:

1) Is a Japanese-produced product featuring a mostly-Anglo cast (saves on dubbing cost).

2) Has equivalent special effects of any given "Godzilla" movie.

3) Has Italian bombshells named "Sheila Benson".

4) Gives you slime creatures that look like Sigmund the Sea Monster.

5) Has a mad doctor (isn't that a pre-requisite for these movies? Thought so.).

6) Has one of the all-time coolest title songs I have ever heard in my entire natural life.

If you watch "The Green Slime", just think: if Jaeckel had brought the rest of his "Dirty Dozen" cronies along with him, the Green Slime would never have stood a chance.

Oh well....

Seven stars. By the way, does anyone know where to get this movie's soundtrack? I have GOT to get that song....